Why you miss them and 41 ways to forget them forever

Your ex-partner was unforgettable – or just great in bed! Wondering, “Why do I miss my ex?” More importantly, how can you forget them forever?

You might feel completely lost by still missing your ex, but trust us, you’re not alone. It’s a common question people ask themselves: “Why do I miss my ex?” Even though it’s been years since the two of you snowballed from lover-ville to splitz-ville, there are totally valid reasons why you might miss that fucker. This is a natural part of the post-breakup experience and understanding these reasons can help you understand your feelings.

Firstly, he was sweet. He always brought you coffee in the morning, he knew your innermost thoughts, he made you laugh, he tickled you, he had amazing taste in music and he also had the uncanny ability to make anything funny – even Was waiting to get that blood ready.

psychology of missing someone

Before we go any further, let’s talk about that nagging feeling of emptiness. You know, the one where you think your ex can stuff it despite knowing better. Why do you miss your ex so much? It’s not just about nostalgia or loneliness; There is a whole psychological game behind this.

First, let’s talk about attachment theory, courtesy of John Bowlby. This theory helps us understand why your reactions can be so intense after a breakup.

Then, there is the tricky business of memory and idealization. It’s as if your brain selectively remembers all the good times and easily forgets the less good moments.

This rose-tinted view of your past relationship may make you yearn for what was, making you think that no one can match it. This is one of the reasons you miss your ex – you’re remembering a version of the relationship that may not have been entirely real.

And, oh, let’s not forget about those secret neurochemical factors. When you’re in love, your brain is buzzing with dopamine and oxytocin, creating warm, fuzzy feelings.

After a breakup, your brain becomes like a party venue after the guests have left – the feel-good chemicals diminish, and you’re left craving that emotional euphoria. This withdrawal may make you yearn for your former partner, thinking that they were the only source of such happiness.

Legit Reasons to Miss Your Ex

So is it normal to lose track of your ex after the fact? Yes, and we have 8 reasons to prove it.

1. You didn’t find someone new

Move on from the ex-boyfriend, it’s time to make room for the rebound! Or… maybe not? If you haven’t yet gotten your ex back to a new, fun and shiny guy, you may be stuck missing him for a while.

If you’re not spending your time with someone new, or are just playing along on the rebound, you’ve got a very valid reason for missing your ex: boredom.

2. A little *good morning notes*

3. Inside jokes with your ex

That moment when you find yourself smiling at something you know he’ll find hilarious, but you can’t even tell him about it. Ouch.

Inside jokes are one of the basic things that separate you and your partner from everyone else *and obviously from that whole sex thing*.

In the same way you can’t walk past old hangouts without remembering your ex, random banter that reminds you of the inside jokes you had with your ex is as hurtful as a mother’s. Never underestimate the devastating emotional power of an inside joke between you and your ex-boyfriend.

4. He thought about you

5. His family surprised you

In this case you’re probably not missing your ex, you’re actually missing her badass mom who talked openly about sex and always kept it real, or her hilarious dad. Who taught you to become Ms. Fix-It in no time. a few months. If your ex-boyfriend had a wonderful family, it may feel like you’re breaking away from all of them, rather than the relationship you were actually dating. Especially in cases where you are not emotionally or physically close to your family, breaking up with your ex can bring disappointment and heartache to a whole new level.

6. He was very good in bed

What’s sex got to do with it? A lot, actually. If your boyfriend was a selfish ass, it will be much easier for you to get over that idiot. That being said, if he was the king of clitoral stimulation and wouldn’t stop until you came… yes. Your path ahead is difficult.

7. Shared dreams and goals

Together you both had created a world of dreams. Whether it’s traveling the world or opening a café, these shared aspirations may linger in your heart, causing you to miss your ex. It’s not just about losing a person, but also about the future you imagined together.

Every plan you made and every dream you shared added another layer to your bond. Now, when you think about those unfulfilled plans, there comes a sense of loss, a longing for what could have been. It’s those abandoned dreams and shared goals that keep you thinking about your ex.

8. They were your support system

Whenever life threw lemons, your ex was there to make lemonade. Now, when challenges arise, you may instinctively want to reach out to them, remembering the support they provided. They were your sounding board, your comfort zone, and your crisis manager, all rolled into one.

9. You fail to understand

There’s comfort in being with someone who just gets you. If your ex-partner was someone who understood your quirks and moods without much explanation, his or her absence may feel as if a part of you is missing. It’s like losing a piece of your communication puzzle.

It’s rare to be understood this way, and it can feel disorienting not to be understood now. It’s the spontaneity of being yourself without the need for explanation that you miss. It is because of this deeper understanding and acceptance that you often feel longing for your former partner.

10. Their quirks grow on you

Remember how annoying you found his obsession with weird documentaries? Now, you find yourself smiling at the thought. Sometimes, it’s the little quirks about your ex that leave a lasting impression.

Your ex’s quirks, which you once took for granted, have now become treasured memories that you yourself cherish.

11. The way they make you laugh

He had the magic recipe to make you laugh until your sides hurt. Why do you miss your ex? Maybe it’s those spontaneous periods of laughter and the happiness that comes with them. The way they can turn a bad day into a good day with just a joke or a funny face is something you miss a lot.

Laughter is a powerful connector, and the absence of that shared joy can leave a noticeable void in your life. It’s the laughter and lightness that they bring to your daily routine that you find yourself craving.

12. Your mutual friend

Hanging out with mutual friends can refresh old memories. When friends mention your ex or you visit familiar places, it can trigger feelings of nostalgia, making you miss what was before. These friends are vivid reminders of the times you shared, which makes it hard to move on.

It’s not just about the person you miss, but also about the social life and shared experiences you had with them. Every gathering or mention of their name can rekindle old wounds, reminding you of the relationship you used to have.

13. They challenged you to move forward

If your ex played a role in your personal development, you may forget how they inspired you to become better. It’s not just the person, but the growth he or she has sparked in you that you desire. They were like a catalyst for your personal growth, constantly encouraging you to reach new heights.

14. Comfort of routine

Man is a creature of habit. Your daily routine with your ex, no matter how mundane, can create a sense of loss when they are gone. From your morning coffee ritual to weekend walks, these routines become ingrained in your life.

Breaking these habits can feel like losing a part of yourself. It’s the comfort and predictability of these shared routines that you miss. The disruption of this daily rhythm is a significant factor in why you yearn for your ex.

15. Music and movies you share

You miss the shared excitement of discovering a new band or the comfort of watching a favorite movie together. These shared cultural experiences were an important part of your relationship, and now they serve as a reminder of what you’ve lost.

16. You miss being someone’s “person”

Being the first person they will call for news or the first person they will turn to in a crisis – this particular situation is something you may find missing deep within yourself. You were their confidant, their companion, the person who stayed with them through good and bad times.

Losing this role can feel like losing a part of your identity. It’s not just their presence that you miss, but also the sense of purpose and belonging that comes with being their “person.” The loss of a special role in someone’s life is a deep reason for the emptiness you feel.

17. They saw the best in you

If your ex was your biggest cheerleader, his or her absence may leave a void. It’s natural to miss someone who believed in you, even when you didn’t believe in yourself. They helped you see strengths you didn’t know you had.

18. Small acts of kindness

The way they made your morning coffee exactly the way you liked it or the way they always texted to check you got home safe – it’s often these small acts of love that last the longest. Live. These gestures were everyday expressions of his love and care for you.

Now, in their absence, you find yourself deprived of these small but important signs of affection. It’s not just the grand gestures, it’s also the small, everyday actions that you find yourself craving.

19. Feeling of belonging

Being part of a couple can provide a sense of belonging. After a breakup, losing identity as ‘we’ can be a big reason why you miss your ex. You were part of a team, a unit, and now you’re traveling the world alone.

You miss the feeling of partnership, the feeling of being part of something bigger than yourself. It’s the loss of shared identity and belonging that makes your ex’s absence so palpable.

20. His passion and ambitions

If you’ve admired their drive and passion, whether for their career or hobbies, that admiration may turn to longing after the relationship ends. You were inspired by his ambition and his zest for life.

Now, you miss out on being a part of that energetic pursuit of goals. Their passion was contagious, and without it, your life might seem a little dull. The admiration you had for their ambitions is an important part of why you miss your ex.

21. Safety and security provided by them

Now, without a sense of security, you may feel more vulnerable or exposed. You lose the comfort and reassurance that came from having someone who made you feel safe. It is this loss of emotional and physical security that significantly contributes to why you miss your ex-partner.

“I miss my ex!” How to stop missing your ex forever

If you’ve been in love, you’ve been in this situation before. If you’re trying to figure out what to do to stop missing your ex, we’ve got you covered.

1. Get rid of negativity

If you miss your ex, let go of the negative emotions. Are you good enough? Did they love you too?

2. Understand your feelings

You need to realize why you are missing them. Is it because you really love your ex or is it just because your ego is hurt? I used to call my exes and try to get their attention, not because I really missed them, but because I wanted to…