What They Mean and 15 Big Lessons They Teach You

Have you heard of the Three Loves Theory? How do these unique romances shape, challenge, and influence our individual experiences in love?

Have you ever wondered why your first love wasn’t your last? Or why didn’t that fiery gust take it away forever? Well, it’s not just a series of unfortunate romantic events or a whim of fate. We can look at three love theories to explain this.

No, this isn’t about triple-dating or backing up your backups. This is rooted in the three loves theory, which suggests that as we journey through life, we encounter three distinct and transformative types of love.

Each serves a purpose, teaching us, challenging us, and shaping the structure of our romantic DNA.

Origin of the three love theory

Before we dive deep into the ups and downs of our love lives, let’s set the stage with a little background. The idea of ​​experiencing different types of love throughout our lives isn’t just some trendy TikTok trend.

The three love theories have their roots in ancient philosophical and psychological thought.

The beauty of this theory is that it helps us understand our past relationships and give context to the emotional ups and downs we may have faced.

It’s like a love map – knowing where you’ve been, where you are, and where you can go.

What He Teaches: Our First Love

This is where our journey into the broader landscape of the three love principles begins. This is an early foray into romance, where everything is new, exciting, and sometimes a little confusing.

This primal magic often releases a wave of dopamine in our brains, making everything feel like there’s a little bit of magic sprinkled throughout.

You may remember the excitement of passing notes in class, the thrill of a late-night phone call under the covers, or even that heartfelt mixtape you spent hours preparing for that special someone.

Lessons learned from your first love

So, what invaluable lessons do these early heartbreaks and hiccups teach? Let’s explore the wisdom hidden in those tear-filled diary pages and late-night conversations with friends.

1. Discovering the reality of love

Often, our first love teaches us what love really is, rather than what it isn’t.

You may have thought that true love meant endless text chains or matching outfits, but then you realized it’s something deeper than that.

2. Setting boundaries

This is the time when you’ll be sitting down with your diary or best friend to figure out what feels right and where to draw the line.

3. Understanding desires and dealbreakers

Our first love often becomes the benchmark, helping us understand what we really want in a partner and what are definite no-no’s.

4. Growing from heartbreak

Not all first loves last forever. And when they don’t, they teach us resilience, self-worth, and the art of bouncing back — with a little more intelligence in our romantic arsenal.

5. Building emotional resilience

Over time, we bounce back stronger, realizing that love is as much about self-worth as it is about cherishing someone else.

And gradually, with each tear shed and each laugh shared, we become more adept at handling the whirlwind of emotions that future relationships may throw our way.

The One That Burns: The Passionate Love

It is this love around which many songs, movies and epic stories have been created.

This stage of love is where emotions are at their peak and everything feels like a whirlwind. Its specialty is its intense, all-consuming nature, where the days seem brighter and the nights more captivating.

It’s easy to imagine a future that includes a shared home, important life milestones, and maybe even adopting that beloved dog together. You find yourself daydreaming about vacations, family gatherings, and growing older together.

Amidst all this, there are those sleepless nights filled with 3 am heart-to-heart conversations, carefully curated playlists echoing shared emotions, and oh, the drama!

Reality check of passionate love

But with every high, there is often a low waiting just around the corner. As the initial glow begins to wear off, we come to certain realizations:

1. Energy drain

While experiencing the peaks of passionate love is invigorating, navigating the valleys is equally tiring, and this is also linked to the three love theory.

Over time, this can lead to feelings of exhaustion and even emotional burnout. A lasting relationship needs moments of peace and stability, not just constant storms.

2. Need more than passion

Passion is a powerful force, almost like the glue that initially binds two people together. However, for the relationship to mature and develop, other elements become necessary.

Trust acts as a safety net, reassuring both partners that they support each other. And mutual respect ensures that both individuals value and respect each other’s personality and decisions.

3. Weaknesses exposed

When two people share such a deep connection, they often end up exposing their true selves, warts and all. This means that they not only share their dreams and aspirations, but they also reveal their insecurities, fears, and vulnerabilities.

4. Conflict Resolution

As emotions increase, the possibility of conflict increases. What started as sweet disagreements or playful banter can turn into a massive argument.

This stage teaches the importance of effective communication – the ability to express yourself clearly and listen actively. It also emphasizes the art of compromise, where both partners learn to adjust and adapt for the betterment of the relationship.

5. Fear of losing yourself

It is important to remember that a relationship involves two unique individuals. Maintaining one’s individuality, pursuing personal interests, and ensuring personal growth is as important as growing together as a couple.

The One That Remains: Everlasting Love

In the final part of the Three Loves canon, after the trials and tribulations of the first two loves, we find ourselves on the brink of a love that must last.

This kind of love is marked by an unbreakable bond that stands the test of time. It is built on the foundation of mutual respect, unwavering trust and deep understanding of each other’s souls.

From a scientific perspective, when we are immersed in this kind of love, there is increased activity in the anterior cingulate cortex of our brain, an area associated with feelings of contentment and satisfaction.

Nurture the eternal flame of everlasting love

But like any beautiful story, this love also requires a chapter of care, understanding and nurturing.

1. Commitment is key

At the heart of eternal love is an unbreakable commitment. It’s not just about saying “I do” or wearing a ring. It’s a daily choice, a conscious decision to prioritize the relationship, come rain or shine.

This commitment is the safety net that ensures both partners that no matter what life brings, they are together, firm and steadfast.

2. Sustainable development

Like any living thing, love also needs to grow to remain alive. Continuous growth means recognizing that both individuals and relationships are evolving entities.

Whether it’s taking up a hobby, traveling, or simply engaging in deep conversations, growth ensures that the relationship remains fresh and dynamic.

3. Balancing Act

Eternal love is a beautiful dance where stability meets passion and intimacy. While love is on the ground, it is important to keep the sparks flying, ensuring that the passion does not wane.

It’s about balancing date nights with deep conversations, romantic vacations with quiet evenings at home. This balance ensures that love remains multidimensional and satisfying.

4. Open communication

In the tapestry of love, the threads of communication are golden. They ensure clarity, reduce chances of misunderstanding and create an environment of trust. It means freedom to express concerns, share dreams, and express emotions without judgment.

5. Shared Experience

The moments spent together weave a rich story of a couple’s journey. From adventures in faraway lands to the cozy comfort of movie nights at home, shared experiences create memories that last a lifetime.

They strengthen bonds, allowing couples to reflect on both challenging and joyful times. Whether it’s laughing at a shared joke, remembering past vacations, or building a house, these experiences become pages of the love story they write together.

Which love chapter are you currently living in?

The theory of the three loves provides a guideline for understanding these romantic journeys, but it is important to acknowledge that love is not a scripted narrative.

Some may experience these loves out of sequence, while others may only resonate with one or two. What really matters is the depth of the relationship and the lessons learned from each love.

At every turn, embracing understanding and supporting self-growth can transform even the stormiest of times into periods of enlightenment. So, which chapter of the three love principles are you currently living in? And just for fun…got a mixtape for this?