What it is, how to tell if it’s for you and 43 tips to do it right

If a free-to-use relationship is your kind of spicy, buckle up! Here’s everything you need to know, the do’s, the don’ts and the emotional rollercoaster.

If you’re interested in the discussion surrounding free-to-use relationships, you’re not alone. This unique arrangement isn’t just about sexual chemistry; It’s an exploration of trust, boundaries, and open communication.

So, if you’re curious to know how it all works, we’ve got you covered – from setting ground rules to laying down do’s and don’ts that will make even seasoned relationship professionals nod in approval. .

What is a free use relationship anyway?

Hold the phone—1.5 million members on the r/freeuse Reddit community? Yup, you read that right. Free-use relationships have piqued the curiosity of many people, but what are we really talking about when we say “free-use”?

In your average relationship, the sexual encounter often starts with a ritual — you know, the do-you-want-to-have-sex guessing game, followed by subtle — or not-so-subtle — flirting, and then maybe some foreplay. It’s like assembling a piece of IKEA furniture: There are steps to follow and parts to align. But in the open-use regard, that assembly manual gets thrown out the window.

How does the free-use relationship work?

Here’s how it works: If one partner is in the mood, there’s no need to show off. They can easily express their desires to the other partner. “Lustful? Let’s not make a big deal of this,” is the prevailing sentiment.

And it’s not just about the freedom to initiate sex; It’s about the freedom to do that, no matter what the other person is doing. Washing dishes, watching a movie, or even working from home? In a free-access relationship, the agreement often stipulates that one partner agrees to be sexually available at all times, no matter what they are doing. This eliminates the need for long conversations or setting the mood; All of these systems work as long as pre-set limits and rules are respected.

Of course, this does not mean that the “free-to-use” partner becomes an object devoid of will. This is where the concept of ongoing consent comes into play. This is a permanent agreement but can be terminated or terminated at any time by either party. No questions asked, no hard feelings – well, as long as they’re not part of the agreed terms!

Basic rules and limits of free-use relationships

Before you step into the fascinating world of free-to-use relationships, it’s important to lay down some ground rules. We’re not talking about those unwritten rules that everyone secretly knows about but no one speaks about. No, we are talking about clear agreements that are as clear as the summer sky.

Here’s a list to get you started:

1. Be smart

Be specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time bound in your contracts. If there is a time of the day, week, or month that you do not want to be free to use, make that known clearly and as quickly as possible. This ensures that you are not only making a vague commitment but also defining precise boundaries, making them easier to follow and respect.

2. Negotiation process

Borrowing a leaf from BDSM practices, sit down and negotiate terms. Discuss soft limits, hard limits, and safe words. This is your chance to go into details, so no topic should be left out of the discussion.

3. Continuous consent

4. No surprise

Although the essence of a free-to-use relationship is availability, it doesn’t mean surprising your partner with new or unspoken expectations. Discuss situations where initiating initiative is acceptable and where it is not – for example, that awkward family dinner at your aunt’s house.

5. Safe words or signals

Sometimes words escape us, so agree on a safe word or even a non-verbal signal that means ‘stop immediately.’ This adds an extra layer of security to your free-to-use relationship, making sure you’re both happy and safe.

6. Time and place

Decide on the specific settings where this agreement is valid. Perhaps it’s within the walls of your home or during certain hours of the day. Being clear about when and where prevents misunderstandings.

7. Periodic Review

8. Health and Wellness

let’s face it; No one is in any mood when they’re suffering from the flu. Make it a rule that when someone is unwell, the free-use relationship takes a back seat. Trust us, it’s better for both parties in the long run.

9. Respect over desire

There may be insistence, but respect comes first. This means respecting your partner’s wishes, even if they go against your wishes at the moment. Remember, a free-to-use relationship is a two-player game; It does not work if one person holds the joystick.

10. No third party involvement without consent

11. No recording or photographing without consent

While it may be tempting to capture the moment, it’s not something to be done without thinking in a free-use relationship. Both parties should agree on what is and isn’t OK to record or photograph, and how those recordings will be stored or shared.

12. Mental and emotional checkup

Just because the physical aspect is front and center, doesn’t mean you should neglect the emotional aspect. Periodic mental and emotional checkups can go a long way in maintaining a healthy and enjoyable open-access relationship.

13. Communication Channel

14. Bring gradual change

Spontaneity may be the spice of life, but in a free-spirited relationship, it is better to make any changes to the agreed rules gradually. Both partners must be comfortable with any new elements.

15. Safe Zone

Establish areas or situations that are off limits for sexual activity. Maybe it’s a car or a public place. Being clear about your no-go areas will help avoid uncomfortable situations.

Do’s and Don’ts: The Unspoken Etiquette of a Free Use Relationship

So you’ve broken the ground rules and you’re ready to take a risk. But hey, don’t leave your good behavior at the door. Here are some do’s and don’ts to guide your journey in this interesting relationship style.

1. Do: Be aware of non-verbal cues

2. Do: Debrief after encounters

Take a few moments after the engagement to discuss what worked and what didn’t. This quick conversation serves as a temperature check, making sure both parties feel respected and satisfied.

3. Do: Have an emergency ‘break glass’ plan

After you’ve discussed ongoing consent, always have a contingency plan in case something unexpectedly goes awry. Whether it’s someone changing their mind at the last minute or someone’s feelings being hurt by something that happens during intimacy, have a plan in mind for how you will repair the damage and emerge from your relationship stronger than ever. . This adds an extra layer of security and trust to the relationship.

4. Do: Update on external factors

If either of you is taking medications or has any external factors that may affect your sexual relationship, let him or her know. Transparency is important, especially when hormones and libido are at work.

5. Don’t: Assume

If there is any doubt please ask. Whether it’s a new move or a change in routine, never assume that your partner is comfortable with it without confirmation.

6. Don’t: Neglect aftercare

7. Don’t: Use this as a cop-out for other responsibilities

Being in this type of relationship does not exempt you from other commitments or emotional availability. Sure, the physical aspect is more straightforward, but that doesn’t mean you can’t pay attention to the emotional side of things. If you think ghosting is taboo in traditional relationships, it’s hard to stop here too.

8. What not to do: Forget about safe sex

Positive and negative effects of free access relationship

While a free-access relationship can be incredibly exciting and liberating, it’s important to be conscious of its long-term impact. After all, what’s the point if it leaves you emotionally exhausted or psychologically distressed?

1. Enhanced Communication Skills

The nature of an open-access relationship requires a level of open and honest communication that can improve the way you interact not only with your partner but with others as well.

2. Deep trust and intimacy

3. Exploration and self-discovery

The space for sexual and emotional exploration that an open-access relationship provides can be a gateway to personal growth and understanding one’s limitations. Seriously, you can learn a lot about yourself when you take traditional ideas of consent and sexual boundaries and turn them upside down!

4. Empowerment

5. Increased sexual satisfaction

The open-access nature of a relationship often means more sexual activity, so if you’re in a bit of a dry state in your relationship, making your relationship a little more open-access could be the spark you need to reignite those relationships. There is a need to reawaken. Passion.

6. Decreased sexual hesitation

Compromise between partners often allows a safe space where both can explore their desires without the cloud of societal judgment.

7. Building Resilience

8. Reduces the guessing game

Free-access relationships typically eliminate many of the rituals and dances associated with initiating sexual activity. Say goodbye to decoding cryptic texts or ambiguous body language; Here, “Do they want to or not?” By traversing the maze of, consent and intentions have been clearly established.

9. Stress Reduction

For some people, sexual activity is a proven stress reliever. In a free-access relationship, more frequent opportunities for sexual activity can serve as an effective way to manage stress.

10. Shared Experience and Engagement

Embarking on this unique relationship journey can yield shared experiences that further strengthen the emotional bond between partners.

11. Danger of sub drop

12. Possibility of ‘topspace’ threats

Dominants’ excited states can cloud their judgment, impact their decision-making skills and potentially put the submissive partner at risk.

13. Emotional drain or burnout

Constant maintenance of boundaries and constant agreement can lead to emotional exhaustion or damage to relationships.

14. Boundary violation

The constant negotiation and ongoing consent in a free-use relationship can lead to accidental boundary crossings, which can cause emotional harm. It’s easy to get carried away in the heat of the moment, thinking of a previously agreed upon boundary as something more fluid.

When this happens, not only is the immediate experience spoiled, but it can also impact the trust and intimacy you have built with your partner.

15. Jealousy and insecurity

The level of sexual freedom in a promiscuous relationship can trigger feelings of jealousy or insecurity, which can damage the foundation of the relationship. While a partner may be completely on board with the concept, seeing or knowing that their partner engages in sexual activity without the usual romantic prelude can provoke uncomfortable feelings.

16. Guilt or embarrassment

Cultural or societal judgments about the nature of a free-access relationship may create feelings of guilt or shame. You may find yourself struggling with internalized stigma or worrying about how others would view your relationship if they found out.

These feelings can cast a dark cloud over what might otherwise be a gratifying dynamic, hindering the freedom and openness on which the relationship is built.

17. Risk of co-dependence

The intense emotional and sexual contact in a promiscuous relationship may risk creating unhealthy dependency between the partners. Because dynamic…