29 Perfect Ways to Befriend a Guy and Learn How to Make and Stay Just Friends

Contrary to popular belief, a boy and a girl can be just friends and nothing more. Don’t believe it? Here’s how to be friends with a guy and nothing more.

There are many people who say that men and women cannot just be friends. Although the basis of his argument is solid, it is not at all true. As long as you both have a good understanding of each other, you can learn how to be friends with a guy.

Granted, it’s easy to cross the lines between friendship and something else. Especially when you become comfortable with each other and you realize that they know you better than anyone else, it becomes easy to fall into the trap of being more than friends.

However, if you really want to know how to just be friends with a guy, it can be done! To make sure you don’t cross that idealistic line, you may just need to remember a few rules.

The psychology behind platonic relationships

Have you ever wondered why you can share the last slice of pizza with a male friend without even thinking about a candlelit dinner? Or why watching a game with him doesn’t feel any different than playing with your friends?

Let’s peek behind the curtain of the human mind and understand the art of just being friends.

1. Attachment Theory: The Friend-Zone Template

Our early relationships, especially with primary caregivers, often determine our attachment styles. These styles can determine how we connect with our male friends.

secure attachment

Think of it as ‘chill’ style. If you’ve got this, you’re comfortable with intimacy but also comfortable doing your own thing.

Therefore, when you make male friends, it is easier for you to bond. No overthinking, no drama, just real connection. You trust easily and give them your space, which makes it easier to balance.

anxious attachment

A little clingy? Are you overanalyzing that text you send? This could be you. Curiously attached people can sometimes blur the lines, not because they’re necessarily attracted, but because they want validation.

avoidance attachment

Love your freedom? Hate being overly insecure? This is style for you to avoid.

Making male friends may be easy, but going deeper into personal conversations? Maybe not that much. Knowing this can help you gradually open up, making sure the friendship isn’t just surface level.

2. Social exchange theory: Not all exchanges are about lovey-dovey things

We humans are give and take creatures. No, not in a cold business way, but more deeply, “What do I get out of this?” Kind of. Or at least, that’s what social exchange theory says.

In all our relationships, we are constantly making mental calculations to find out what we can get from someone *i.e. their friendship* and whether the cost *the effort on our part* is worth it.

3. Benefits galore

When you befriend a guy, you’re not necessarily looking for romantic sparks.

Sometimes, it’s about sharing perspective *After all, men have a different outlook on life*, seeking security *Let’s face it, having a male friend around can sometimes feel safer Maybe*, or simply expanding your social circle. It’s like adding another dish to the buffet of your life. Yum!

4. Minimum cost

In friendship, the costs are not about money, they are about emotional investment, time, and potential conflicts.

With male friends, sometimes, there is less emotional drama *not always, but sometimes*, which makes it feel like a breath of fresh air. No complicated decoding of ‘girls talk’ or lengthy debates over which shade of lipstick is better. Straightforward, simple and drama-free for the most part….

How to be friends with a guy and never cross the idealistic line

If you have a guy you want to maintain a friendship with, but you’re not sure how to keep yourself or him from crossing the line, we can help.

Here are all the ways you can avoid overdoing it that will also help keep him in line.

1. Tell him how you feel as soon as possible

This means that you need to let him know right away that friendship is all he will get from you. Sure, your emotions may run out of control and so may his, but this way, you’re telling him right away that that will never happen.

What better way to emphasize a friendship than to tell it right from the start?

Plus, it avoids any confusion if your actions ever say otherwise. He will just remember the day you told him that friendship is the only thing you can give him.

2. Don’t pay too much attention to him

You may have a great time with your male friend, but it’s easy to mistake intentions. Unless you want your friend to think you like him, don’t give him all your attention when other friends are around.

By focusing on other people and interacting with other people, he will be able to see that he is not getting any special attention from you.

3. Leave some hints

Also, at some point in the conversation, tell her that you are very happy with her and that you can never think of changing this perfect friendship you have with her. Once he hears this, there’s a good chance he’ll back off.

4. At least keep some distance

Don’t talk to him and don’t try to be around him all the time. The more distance you keep from him, the easier it will be to remain an ideal friend. Let some texts remain unanswered, but obviously not all.

Don’t let him get used to the fact that you are constantly texting and calling him 24/7. Boundaries are essential if you want to know how to be friends with a guy without crossing any boundaries.

5. Ask your friends for help sometimes

Your friends can create a really good barrier between you and him. If you’re feeling especially affectionate towards her, ask your friends to come over. Keep your friends accountable for not letting you cross any limits.

If you feel like holding her or cuddling her, that’s what your friends are for! They’ll remind you of exactly why you can’t be more than friends.

6. If things are getting a little heated, walk away from it

Space and distance can do wonders for learning how to just be friends with a guy. If you’re starting to have feelings for her or are flirting a lot, keep some distance.

Get away from him and remove yourself from the situation. Or if you can’t, distract yourself so you don’t do things you’ll regret.

7. Chase other people

Find someone else to keep you busy! If your attention and time is spent on someone else, it will prevent anything from blossoming between you and your guy friend.

You know what they say, the best way to learn how to be friends with a guy is to focus on the other guy. So go dating and flirt with the next cute guy you meet! You never know, you might find “the one” that way!

8. Don’t get drunk alone with him

This could possibly be the worst idea anyone ever had! Never get drunk with your male friend if you just want to remain friends.

It’s okay to have a drink with each other sometimes, but when you’re drunk all your emotions are heightened.

9. Don’t go home together!

Even if you haven’t been drinking, it’s not a good idea to spend time alone at his or her place. It will feel just like a date, even if you two are just friends. Remember, you don’t want to cross that idealistic line!

Spending time with just the two of you leaves a lot of room for error *and flirting* so avoid doing that. Bring a friend with you to keep yourself accountable every time she asks you out to watch a movie or get coffee.

10. Don’t try to avoid the issue

Meaning, if you feel your feelings or sexual tension, don’t ignore it. Admit to yourself that you feel something for him.

Ignoring them will only bring you closer to them and will ruin the friendship completely.

11. Do not have physical relations in any way

No hugs or flirty touching. This isn’t really advisable if you’re trying to avoid falling in love with that person. If you don’t have any feelings for her, it’s okay to have a hug once in a while.

But as soon as you become comfortable with him or start getting along with him, your friendship is over.

12. Don’t let people make assumptions

If other people are calling you both boyfriend and girlfriend, get over it. Neither of you need to start thinking about the other this way, and stopping this will help keep both of you from slipping into those respective roles.

This teasing may seem harmless, but it can cause one of you to have feelings that you wouldn’t have if there were no teasing. So stop it before it has a chance to plant seeds in your brain and grow new emotions.

13. If he gives any advance, turn it down

If he starts moving towards you, stop him. Don’t just ignore them because that won’t make them go away at all.

You have to really shut them down and tell them you’re not interested. Don’t give up if he ever makes a move towards you.

As soon as you do this, you might already have a date with her! Be firm about it and let him know that you’re not messing around by not doing anything that would lead to more than a friendship.

14. Share fantasies of your dream-lover

Just be sure to add some qualities he doesn’t have to really hit the platonic message. If he’s short, tell him you like tall guys. If he’s muscular, tell him you like lean guys. You get the picture, right? Obviously, don’t be mean about it.

15. Keep him in the loop about your dating life

If he knows you’re dating someone, he’s unlikely to push the boundaries of your friendship into something more. So if you want to know how to just be friends with a guy, tell him about the guy you’re dating.

Don’t hesitate to tell him that you are dating someone and that you really like this guy. This will really let him know that your friendship is purely idealistic.

You can’t wear your best clothes and makeup and expect him not to flirt with you or cross boundaries.

Boys are visual people, so if you’re the prettiest looking one, guess what? He’ll likely make a move, or worse, he may even believe that you’re trying to impress him and are expecting him to make a move!

17. Avoid late night messages

If you keep texting her late at night you are literally setting yourself up for failure. So if you want things to remain absolutely platonic with your guy friend, stop the late night conversations.

18. Don’t touch.

If you want to know how to just be friends with a guy, avoid being touchy-feely with him. Even if the guy you’re dating has dumped you, there’s no excuse for crying on his shoulder while he consoles you.

Vulnerability is a scary path to take when you want to remain idealistic. The moment you let your guard down, it becomes easier to cross the lines of friendship and move on to something else.

19. Remember why you want to remain idealistic

This will help you the most. You have to keep reminding yourself why you only want to be friends and why a relationship will never work. Whenever you have a desire to be something else, if you keep thinking about those reasons, it will help you stay healthy.

So if you’re serious about learning how to be friends with a guy, remind yourself of exactly why you’re doing this and start from there.

Common Challenges When Making Guy Friends

Making friends with men can sometimes feel like walking a tightrope. Too close, and you may send the wrong signal; Too far away, and the friendship may never blossom. Here are some common challenges and how to deal with them…