What is it, 66 signs, causes and secrets to deal with it

Feeling like you never needed anyone’s help? Wait, maybe you’re struggling with too much independence.

If you often find yourself saying, “I can do it all by myself, thank you very much,” as you go through life’s ups and downs, you may be experiencing tremendous freedom. But you may wonder, “When is freedom a bad thing?”

Well, let’s get into it. Extreme freedom is not your typical, garden-variety freedom. Oh no, it’s freedom on steroids, complete with its own set of quirks and quirks.

You’re not just steering your ship, you’re building it, polishing it, and rejecting any lifebuoys that come your way.

Understanding extreme freedom is now more important than ever. We live in a world where ‘self-made’ is the badge everyone wants to wear, but at what cost?

What is Hyper Independence?

When it comes to freedom, there’s a fine line between “I’ve got this” and “I’ve got this”, so please stay 500 feet away from me at all times. Yes, that second one is what we’re focusing on: extreme freedom.

In the world of psychology, extreme independence is essentially the need to prove one’s autonomy and self-reliance, not only to the world but also to oneself. It’s like your internal settings are always switched to “do not disturb.”

Now, from a theoretical perspective, this can be explained by a blend of attachment theory and self-determination theory. The attachment theory angle suggests that your past relationships, especially with caregivers, have conditioned you to equate self-worth with self-reliance.

Meanwhile, self-determination theory believes that you are essentially overcompensating for your need for autonomy, perhaps at the expense of relatedness and competence.

Excessive independence, on the other hand, is when you’ve locked yourself behind a wall of self-reliance so high that even a SWAT team couldn’t break through it.

You know you’re fiercely independent when you refuse help opening a jar of pickles, even though you’re straining every muscle in your body. We get it, you’re strong and self-reliant, but come on, even Superman had Lois Lane.

clear signs of excessive freedom

You’re probably thinking, “Great, so what are these glowing neon signs that scream ‘I’m fiercely independent!’?”

1. Emotional distance

When it comes to emotional distance, people with extreme independence have turned it into an art form. Although it’s natural to need space and time for yourself, highly independent people take it to a whole new level.

2. Self-reliance to a fault

Being self-reliant is usually an admirable quality, isn’t it? But in the realm of extreme freedom, this becomes superfluous. Does the couch need to be taken up three stairs? No problem, they’ve got this—no help needed, thanks!

An independent person will evaluate the situation and accept help if it makes the task easier or more efficient. However, fiercely independent people would rather break a sweat *or break a bone* than admit they can use a hand.

3. Work overload

In the workplace, a highly independent person hoards tasks. Delegation? What is that? They would rather be immersed in a sea of ​​spreadsheets than hand over a few spreadsheets to a co-worker.

4. Difficulty accepting help

Here’s a classic: the sheer inability to accept help, even when it’s freely given and necessary. a flat tire? They will handle it. 200 pound package? They’ve got this.

While an independent person may think twice but ultimately accept help, the ultra-independent among us view accepting help as a sign of weakness or incompetence.

5. Control eccentric tendencies

In contrast, an independent person is comfortable sharing control or sometimes even giving it up, understanding that it is okay not to own every single domain.

6. Unrealistic self-expectations

Highly independent people often set exceptionally high standards for themselves. They aim to be the epitome of perfection in every area, refusing to show any cracks in the facade.

While an independent person sets attainable goals and is okay with occasional setbacks, someone who is overly independent may consider anything less than perfect as a catastrophic failure.

7. Fear of commitment

In contrast, independent individuals view commitment as a mutual agreement that can provide emotional and practical benefits while maintaining their sense of self.

8. Avoiding emotional conversations

Deep emotional conversations are kryptonite for highly independent people. They would rather walk barefoot on Lego than talk about their feelings.

While an independent person understands the need for emotional expression and is willing to engage when necessary, the overly independent person often sidesteps these conversations as if avoiding landmines.

9. Minimal Vulnerability

Independent people understand that showing vulnerability can actually strengthen bonds and foster trust.

10. Resistant to feedback

A highly independent person may view feedback as an attack on their skills or personality. A mere suggestion of improvement can also be considered criticism.

On the other hand, an independent person will probably welcome feedback as a tool for growth and improvement.

11. Strong dislike of group activities

Team-building activities, group projects, or even a weekend getaway with friends can feel suffocating to a highly independent person. They prefer a solitary path, staying away from the ‘group’ in group activities.

Free people can enjoy the best of both worlds; They are comfortable flying alone, but can also enjoy the joy and creativity that comes from group interaction.

12. Highly selective social circle

Independent people are more open to expanding their social circle, adopting different levels of closeness with different people.

13. Less need for affection

While everyone’s affection needs are different, people who are highly independent often view it as an insignificant desire. They rarely seek physical touch or emotional reassurance.

An independent man may also value his space, but will not shy away from affection and may even seek it in specific circumstances.

14. Internal control of control

While having an internal locus of control is generally a good thing, hyperindependent people take it to extremes. They believe that they are responsible for everything that happens to them, excluding external factors such as fate or the actions of others.

Independent people have a balanced outlook, accepting both internal and external factors that influence their lives.

15. Defensiveness

Highly independent people often become defensive when asked about their actions or decisions.

16. Neglecting self-care

Believe it or not, highly independent people sometimes neglect self-care, associating it with self-indulgence or weakness.

An independent person recognizes the importance of self-care and understands that taking time for yourself is not selfish; Rather, it is essential for overall well-being.

17. Ruthless Priority

Highly independent individuals have a habit of ruthlessly prioritizing tasks, often to the exclusion of relationships and emotions.

They may have already learned that relying on others can lead to disappointment or sadness, so they build a self-sufficient fortress around themselves.

While an independent person knows how to handle priorities and can adjust to relationships, a highly independent person despises anything that does not directly contribute to his or her goals.

This mindset may be a defense mechanism to avoid the unpredictability and potential pain associated with emotional relationships.

18. Inflexibility

A key sign of excessive independence is a certain level of inflexibility. Deviating from the pre-determined plan may make them anxious or upset.

In contrast, independent people may be more adaptable and are generally more open to change.

19. Avoiding intimacy

Independent people understand that intimacy is a natural and healthy part of a balanced relationship.

20. Suppressed emotions

Highly independent people often suppress their emotions, considering them an unnecessary complication.

An independent person is better at emotional regulation and is willing to face and process emotions rather than simply suppressing them.

21. The impulse to escape

When the going gets tough, fiercely independent people take the lead… literally. They have a tendency to run away from difficult situations instead of facing them.

Independent individuals are more likely to persevere and confront problems, understanding that not all problems are threats to their self-sufficiency.

22. Over-analyze

In contrast, highly independent people often over-analyze situations, always trying to predict every possible outcome in order to maintain control. This tendency to overthink stems from a deep need for control and certainty in their lives.

They may have experienced situations where things went wrong due to mistrust of others or unexpected circumstances, leading them to believe that careful planning is the key to avoiding future disappointments.

For them, over-analyzing is a way to protect themselves from potential risks and vulnerabilities, even if it means sacrificing peace of mind and spontaneity.

23. Viewing relationships as give and take

To a highly independent person, relationships often seem transactional, something that serves a purpose rather than an emotional connection.

Independent people also see intrinsic value in relationships, beyond utility.

24. Reluctance to celebrate achievements

Independent people can enjoy their victories and share their joy with others, seeing each accomplishment as a step forward, not just a box to tick.

In contrast, highly independent people rarely take time to celebrate their accomplishments. They’re always chasing the horizon, moving towards the next big thing. This stems from the belief that enjoying their success is a waste of time and that whatever they have achieved is never enough.

They may feel that holding off on celebrating will make them complacent or distract them from their goals. This mindset can prevent them from appreciating their hard work and fostering deep relationships with people who want to share in their happiness.

25. Perfectionism

Last but not least, highly independent people often exhibit perfectionistic tendencies, as they view any flaw or mistake as a dent in their armor of self-reliance.

What causes a person to be extremely independent?

Now, you may ask why are highly independent people like this? Let’s explore the root causes of extreme freedom:

1. Genetic predisposition

Although it may be tempting to attribute extreme freedom solely to life experiences, our genetic makeup also plays a role. Studies have shown that personality traits, which may include a tendency towards independence, may be partly inherited.

However, it is important to note that being genetically predisposed does not mean that you are destined to be extremely independent; It just lays the groundwork.

An independent person may have some of these traits but usually they balance them with environmental factors.

2. Childhood experiences

Our early life experiences shape us in profound ways. Children who have to fend for themselves at an early age, or who may have grown up in low-nutrition environments, may develop highly independent traits as a survival mechanism.

3. Psychological basis

According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, achieving the level of “respect”…