Many couples invite another person into their bedroom for sexy fun. But, how do you think about it? What is unicorn hunting and how do you do it?
You and your partner have decided to test the waters and explore the world of non-monogamy with a threesome. If you’re brand new to all this, considering unicorn hunting can definitely be a little scary and intense. But what is unicorn hunting, you ask? Don’t worry, we’re about to dive into this enchanting and complex area.
This is a new world you’re stepping into, and when something new happens, there are a lot of mixed emotions involved. Even though this may be your first experience in non-monogamy, if you do your research ahead of time and focus on open communication with your partner, your journey on the unicorn sea will be seamless.
What is a unicorn in the dating world?
No, we’re not talking about actual unicorns here. We’re talking about the third wheel in a relationship or specifically in bed.
The Unicorn is a third person who wants to join the existing couple in bed. This may be solely for sexual entertainment or it may be as part of a polyamorous setup, i.e. to actually date and have a romantic relationship.
Let’s put on our psychology hats for a moment. Have you ever heard of cognitive dissonance theory? It’s an interesting idea that people hate having conflicting ideas or values. When it comes to unicorns, many of us idealize this concept to resolve these internal conflicts. In simple terms, your brain is saying, “I want an exciting adventure but don’t want to ruin my existing relationship.” Boom! Enter the Unicorn, solving that cognitive puzzle like a champ.
So why is everyone and their grandmother talking about dating unicorns these days? Well, in our age of blurred boundaries and endless definitions of love, unicorns fit the bill perfectly. They provide an exciting yet safe opportunity for couples to explore without breaking the emotional fabric that binds them together.
Why do some couples want to find a unicorn?
There are countless reasons why a couple might want to try to bring another person into their relationship. This may be a one-time thing or it may become a regular occurrence. Again, it could be just for sex or it could be for a romantic situation. It depends on what the couple wants and, of course, what the unicorn wants.
Some couples choose to try polygamy instead of the regular type of monogamy that we have come to see as the so-called “norm.”
Understand what you’re getting into before you hunt unicorns
The idea of having a threesome is often on many people’s bucket list, but in reality, it’s often either a frustrating or a very complicated situation. Ask yourself how you would feel if you saw your partner having sex with this person. How would you feel if she developed feelings for him? can you handle that?
Although all parties in polyamorous relationships are expected to be equally respected and cared for, it does not always work that way.
How would you feel if your partner fell completely madly in love with this person and no longer felt the same way about you? Maybe they decide that polyamory isn’t for them and they want to be in a monogamous relationship with a unicorn instead.
how to find a unicorn
So, you know what a unicorn is in the dating arena, but now comes the million-dollar question: How do you find a unicorn? It’s like unicorn hunting but with less bows and arrows and more swipes and winks. Here’s the shortcoming:
1 channel
The Internet is a modern hunting ground. Dating apps like Tinder or OkCupid offer filters to help you find what you’re looking for, but if you’re serious about unicorn hunting, platforms like Feeld are designed with you in mind.
Social circles are a more traditional but equally effective channel. Just be careful not to create awkward situations within your friend group.
2. Hint
The key to knowing if someone is ready to be your unicorn lies in their language and their vibe. Inclusive language like “I enjoy exploring diverse relationships” or “I don’t follow traditional relationship norms” are good signs.
3. Talk to your partner
Communication, the most underrated superhero in relationshipland. Before you start swiping or asking out friends, talk to your partner about what you both want from this experience. Friends, there is no ‘I’ in threesome.
4. “Sell” yourself.
5. Tell your unicorn what you’re looking for
Be clear about your boundaries and expectations. Do you want to keep emotions off the table? Say this. Are you looking for someone to spend the holidays with, not just a one-night stay? Make it clear.
6. trust
7. Talk about boundaries
8. Due Diligence
According to self-determination theory, understanding your own needs and motivations is important for well-being. This is true for couples who are looking for a unicorn. Knowing the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship will help you better engage the third party.
9. Meet your unicorn before the threesome
It’s easy to get caught up in the fantasy, but you’re dealing with real people. Arrange a casual meeting to make sure everyone clicks. If chemistry is more “high school lab accident” than “explosive attraction,” it’s better to figure it out sooner rather than later.
10. Stay safe
11. Treat them with respect
12. Enjoy the experience
Last but not least, it should be fun! Relax, enjoy the dynamics, and learn something new about each other and yourself.
Characteristics of a Perfect Unicorn
Knowing what to look for in a unicorn is like knowing the specifications of the car you want to buy. You wouldn’t want to drive home in an old vehicle, right? Let’s learn about the characteristics that make a unicorn the MVP in your romantic game.
1. Emotional Intelligence
So, you want someone who not only knows the ABCs but also the EQ of human emotions. This person should be able to read a room or bedroom in a heartbeat. They know when to cuddle and when to give both of you some space, all because of their high emotional intelligence.
2. Be open-minded
3. Sexual compatibility
4. Stability
Think of it as the emotional center of your unicorn. As soon as things get emotionally complicated, they are not going to take a U-turn and turn around. No, this Unicorn is rock-steady because of its secure attachment style.
5. Honest Abe
A unicorn who can talk openly about her feelings and desires is worth her weight in gold. You want someone who will say, “This works for me,” or, “I’m not interested in this,” and mean it.
6. Border boss
Respecting boundaries is not a matter of debate. Your ideal unicorn knows this rule by heart and plays by it, ensuring a healthy and comfortable place for everyone involved.
7. Own their sexuality
8. Jealous Jedi
This unicorn has mastered the art of keeping the green eyed monster at bay. They understand that jealousy is a part of human nature, but they don’t let it spoil the party.
9. Independent streak
10. Thick Skin, Big Heart
Let’s be real; Society can be just. Your Unicorn should be someone who can shrug off social judgments like they’re shuffling water.
11. Straight Shooter
12. Flexibility
Life is a roller coaster, and your unicorn is ready for the ride. They are adaptable, able to handle the ups, downs, and twists that come with being the third person in a relationship.
Common mistakes made by unicorn hunters
Now that we’ve got the blueprint for our ideal unicorn, let’s not mess it up, right? Aspiring unicorn hunters often make rookie mistakes that can turn a magical experience into a cautionary tale. Here’s what to keep in mind:
1. Commodification
First of all, your unicorn is being treated like just a unicorn. Remember, they’re not an item on your grocery list or a means to spice things up; They are a real person with feelings and needs.
The term “dehumanization” may sound like something out of a psychology textbook, but basically it means turning someone into an object. Don’t do this. Consider your unicorn a co-contributor to your collective happiness.
2. Communication mistake
Communication Accommodation Theory WARNING! This concept is your best bet when it comes to avoiding misunderstandings. It’s all about adjusting your communication style to match your partner or, in this case, your unicorn. Say what you want to say, mean what you mean, and be willing to listen to what the other party has to say. Threesome is not a monologue; This is a collective work.
3. Skyrocketing expectations
Who doesn’t love daydreaming? But check those fantasies at the door to see if they’re not based in reality. Expectancy violation theory says that if you set the bar too high and your unicorn doesn’t reach it, everyone gets disappointed. Remember, unicorns are rare, not perfect.
4. Ethical Choice
You might think that unicorn hunting is all fun and games, but there’s also a moral side to it. Enter Kohlberg’s stages of moral development. Even if you’re not a philosopher, remember the golden rule: treat others as you want to be treated.
5. Balancing Act
A bonus point here—remember that unicorns aren’t a Band-Aid for existing relationship issues. They’re a delightful addition to an already strong dynamic, not the solution to your problems.
make real connections
Remember, unicorns in dating aren’t just mythical creatures described in storybooks; They too have feelings. Treat them with the same respect and kindness they deserve. Keep your communication game strong, set realistic expectations, and maintain your moral compass. Do these, and you won’t just be hunting unicorns – you’ll be building a real relationship with them.
Now that you know what a unicorn is in dating, how to find it, and what pitfalls to avoid, you and your partner are well equipped to hunt the unicorn. Who knows? You might find the perfect person for a night of fun or even a new type of relationship altogether.
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