What is it, 29 bad signs and ways to fix a relationship

Have you ever wondered why a lot of obstacles start appearing in relationships as soon as they cross the three-year mark? We are here to shed some light on this incident!

Once upon a time, in a far away reality, a couple was basking in the joys of young love. Every giggle, every touch was magical. But, as the pages turned into the third year, the adorable lullaby turned into a debate about milk and why those “adorable” snoring now sounded like a surprise rock concert at 3 in the morning. And thus, our everyday *and all too familiar* couple faced the famous “three-year itch.”

Was it an ancient curse placed upon them by a love-struck witch of the past? No! But this is a story worth solving.

The psychology behind the three-year itch

While it may not be the handiwork of a mischievous magician, there is certainly some captivating psychology at work behind the three-year itch.

1. Hedonic Adaptation

Have you ever noticed that shiny new phone isn’t as exciting after a few months?

Likewise, as we approach the three-year relationship mark, those initial fireworks may feel a little less explosive. It’s not magic, it’s just our tendency to embrace pleasurable experiences, which makes them feel more mundane over time.

2. Relationship Development

Think back to those early days – the spontaneous dates, the endless conversations, the thrill of every shared moment. That’s the honeymoon phase.

But as a relationship matures, especially around the ups and downs of three years, it changes. Love runs deep, but newness? Not that bright.

Instead of discovering new things about each other, you’re now setting routines, sharing chores and maybe even arguing over the best brand of toothpaste.

3. Biological theory

Could the three-year itch be imprinted in our DNA? Some theories suggest that our ancestors may have stayed together long enough to have children before feeling the desire to move on.

While modern relationships have grown in complexity, that ancestral clock may still be ticking in the background.

Why third year?

Now, the next big question on everyone’s mind is: Why does this three-year relationship milestone stand out like an unmatched sock after laundry day?

1. Moving on from the initial infatuation

Remember those early days when your partner could do no wrong, and even their most mundane stories seemed like epic stories?

2. Beginning of real life challenges

The first few years may be all about romantic dinners and spontaneous trips. But as the three-year mark approaches, reality starts knocking – sometimes with bills in one hand and in-laws in the other.

And let’s not even talk about the important decision about who will have the next Netflix show. These challenges, though seemingly small, can test the stamina of a three-year relationship.

3. From enthusiasm to solution

The early days are full of passionate love – heart-racing, butterfly-inducing. But as we approach and cross the age of three, relationships often see a shift towards compassionate love.

Subtle symptoms of three-year itch

Reaching the three-year relationship mark is like graduating from the school of early romance. But like any graduation, it also comes with challenges. Here’s a closer look at those symptoms:

1. Increasing irritability over small things

In the early days, he might have had a habit of misplacing the TV remote. But three years into the turmoil, you might find yourself silently fuming at these ‘uniquenesses’.

It’s not a misplaced remote – it’s the feeling of not being understood or valued. Small problems may increase suddenly.

2. Questioning long-term compatibility

Remember those days when you felt invincible together? As three years of a relationship approach, you may become more introspective.

3. Fantasizing about life outside the relationship

Those fleeting thoughts about solo travel or another partner aren’t just daydreams — they’re reflections of deeper desires or unmet needs.

As the three-year itch begins, it’s common to think about alternative paths, which can be both disturbing and revealing.

4. Lack of intimacy

It’s not just about fewer date nights or less physical closeness. Emotional intimacy may also decrease.

If those heart-to-heart conversations are replaced by worldly logistics, the heart of the relationship can feel a little weak.

5. Avoiding planning for the future

While planning the next vacation or buying a home together was once exciting, it can now feel like a task.

Avoiding these discussions? This may be due to underlying fears or doubts that have surfaced due to the anticipation of a three-year recession.

6. Comparing your relationship

Trapping yourself in the ‘comparison trap’, weighing your relationship against others’ picture-perfect moments or past relationships, is a secret symptom of the three-year itch.

It’s a sign of looking for something – whether it’s excitement, understanding, or recognition.

7. Feeling stuck in a dilemma

8. Lack of communication

Not only talking less, but the quality of conversation may also decrease. If you are suppressing feelings or thoughts to avoid conflicts or because you think they won’t understand, this is a sign of the three-year itch.

9. Avoiding serious discussions

In the early stages of a relationship, you may have eagerly tackled any topic that came up.

10. Feeling more free

It’s great to maintain individuality in a relationship. However, if you find yourself wanting to do things alone or feel more free when your partner is not around, this could be a symptom of the three-year bulge.

11. Lack of enthusiasm for shared activities

Remember those activities you both loved, like Saturday movie nights or Sunday hiking?

If these shared moments now feel more like obligations rather than your expectations, pay attention.

12. Increase in mystery or secrecy

13. Share less laughter

Laughter is a measure of the health of relationships. If you find that there are fewer shared jokes, banter, and spontaneous moments of joy, it could be a sign of the three-year itch.

14. Feeling like you’re walking on eggshells

15. Taking each other for granted

Over time, especially around the three-year mark and for the reasons we have already specified, it is not uncommon for couples to stop appreciating the little things in their partner. This can lead to a feeling of being undervalued.

16. Lack of personal development

Maybe your partner used to push you to constantly improve yourself, but they no longer care about it. Or maybe in the first years of dating you wanted to be the best version of yourself to impress them, but because they seem so mundane to you you no longer see the point.

Either way, hindering your personal growth is always a recipe for disaster.

If either partner feels that they are not growing personally while in the relationship, this can lead to feelings of stagnation or resentment – ​​common culprits behind the three-year itch.

Your partner may view you as holding them back, or you may be angry at your partner for preventing you from living a separate life.

combat itching

If the three-year itch is challenging, consider the following your relationship toolkit, which is packed with strategies to help couples not only endure, but also thrive during this important phase:

1. Active constructive response

No, it’s not just the title of an academic paper. It’s all about getting really excited when your partner shares good news.

2. Novelty

Remember the excitement of those first dates? By the time the three-year relationship approaches, things start to feel a little repetitive.

3. Open communication

It is the cornerstone of every lasting relationship. As the three year old itch approaches, effective and compassionate communication becomes more important than ever. It’s not just about talking about what bothers you, but doing so with empathy, understanding, and without judgment.

4. Revisit relationship goals

Around the ups and downs of year three, it’s a good idea to sit down and discuss mutual goals.

5. Practice gratitude

It’s easy to focus on what’s missing or troubling about a relationship, especially when the three-year itch is in full swing.

Taking a moment every day to appreciate what you love about your partner can help focus your attention on what’s lacking and what’s abundant.

6. Get advice

7. Investment time

In the hustle and bustle of life, especially as the three-year anniversary approaches, couples may drift apart due to too much busyness.

Intentionally setting aside ‘us’ time, whether it’s date nights or weekend getaways, can rejuvenate a relationship.

Every relationship will have its testing moments

Relationships, like anything valuable, come with their challenges. It’s natural to face ups and downs, especially when hitting an important milestone like the three-year mark.

However, the beauty of such challenges lies in the opportunities they present. With the right amount of understanding, effort, and patience, these so-called challenges can be catalysts for growth and deeper bonds. It is important that we approach them not as barriers but as stepping stones.

Remember: Every relationship has testing moments, but the shared commitment to survive and move forward is what truly defines a couple’s bond.

Every couple faces their own version of the three-year itch, but with love, understanding, and maybe a little humor, it becomes just another chapter in a beautiful story.