What is benching? 47 painful signs, effects and causes they string with you

Have you found yourself in the finger of a relationship and don’t know what is going on? Help these tips to find out if they are secretly benches to you.

There are many words in the dating world that are invented to explain the objectives in all complex feelings, mind sports and relationships. Words like ghosting, tuning and DTR. But recently a word has been popped up to describe something relatively crooked, and is called benching.

What is really benching?

Benching dating is a word used in the world, when a person puts you on the sideline at this time, while they decide if they are committed. Essentially, you are not actively involved, but they are putting you around as a backup option. This behavior is similar to how athletes are placed on the bench, if necessary, is ready to step.

Psychologically, this behavior stems from the desire for safety and verification. Studies have shown that people often use dating as a way to promote their ego to keep many options open *Toma, Hancock, and Alison, 2008. ,

Benching is often through digital communication channels such as texting, social media and online dating apps. These platforms make it easy to stay connected with many people without solid plans or pressure of commitments.

This minimal-exclusion approach, sometimes called “breadcrumbing”, helps individuals to be interested in others to prevent others from losing interest, while still searching for other possible relationships.

Understanding benching can help you recognize that when a person is not fully investing in the relationship, allows you to make more informed decisions on focusing on your time and emotional energy. Being aware of these behaviors has the right to prioritize your good and find relationships that provide mutual commitment and respect.

How can you tell if you are benches? Teltell signal

1. They are hot and cold

After texting and tampering for a while, they suddenly get away or say things that appear out of the character without any reason. And then a week later, they are returned to be fun and flurt. These attitude changes become more frequent, it depends on how much they are interested in keeping around you.

2. You see minimum effort

Sometimes it seems that you are making only one effort, even while they manage to insert in any way.

People usually put time and efforts in things that they think are important, so if they do not think that you deserve their time, walk away for good.

3. All things, no action

After a while, you begin to notice that they make a lot of small promises that are actually physical. He promised that you would walk out at the end of the week, he promised that he would give you a message in the morning, and he promised to call you when he came home.

4. You can’t get through

All your texts become unanswered, or just live on ‘read’ and you do not get any response. Don’t panic – they are not dying, they are not trapped somewhere, and they are still batteries on their phone. They are ignoring you right now, for now.

5. You are getting empty online

They always appear online, but they are not messaging you. They share the material, write the position, and like the post, but you get nothing.

If you find that this is the case when they are active on Facebook chat or WhatsApp, then there is a possibility that they are chatting with one of their other options instead.

6. Classic excuse

When you don’t listen to them for age, they will always use the same predecessor line – they are ‘so busy’ that they did not have time to give you a message back.

Here is a tip-no one is ever busy, unless they are pulling a 19-hour shift at medical school, or a mega-celebrity. And yet, they will still try and find time for you if they want.

7. All this is the task of a magician

You may not have heard them in days, or weeks, and as you are going to give up on them, they suddenly appear again. This will usually be in the form of a flirting text or well timed WhatsApp, and it is a great trick to prevent you from feeling that you are more worthy.

8. Test it for yourself

If you want to check if you are being benches, then text them now and suggest going for the coffee date when it is free this week.

If they ‘yes sure, when do you want to go?’ You are probably fine. But if they respond with uncertainty, or decline and suggest it to do some other unspecified time, they are string with you.

9. Love has gone to chemistry

As time passes, you have seen that they are getting less and less playing. Their behavior is being converted into something required by a friend, but they have not stopped the contact.

This is more than the possibility because they are trying to distance themselves in that situation when they decide to divide, while still in a position to decide to live.

10. They are filled with

They have a way with words, and can always make the right excuse for anything at any moment. There is always a convenient reason for anything that they have done wrong, or at any time they have not been disturbed to consider your feelings.

11. Who knows about you?

None of his friends also know that you are present and when you actually think about it, they have never offered to introduce you to them.

If his friends don’t think that you are in a relationship or anything serious, there is a possibility that you are getting benches. [ElephantJournal.com: Why this dating trend is far worse than ghosting]

12. They act as their behavior is normal

After no contact, when they suddenly decide to enter their lives, they will do the work as if nothing has happened.

They go straight back where they leave, assuming that you are just waiting for their return. Sometimes they will not even accept that they disappeared at all.

13. You really never see them

You have started feeling that there is no other real face-to-face contact between you. Every time you plan a date they seem excited, but then close to time, they make excuses or get out quickly.

14. You don’t expect much from them

You constantly feel that you are receiving your hopes, only to reduce them time and time again. It has reached the point where you cannot be comfortable to plan or trust comfort because you are afraid that they will not stay on what they have said they will do.

15. You are starting to feel that you are going crazy

Do they make you feel like that you are being needed to express your feelings and want respect, or are inappropriate? Do you feel that you are losing your mind because they do such work as they see what is the problem?

16. Online Mind Games

When they are on social media, they prefer the situations you have posted, but they do not really give you the message. This can be so misleading and disorientation, but they are only doing so because it is a non-caste way of staying in the picture. This gives them an appearance in your life, without really communicating with you.

17. You have stopped fighting it

You have become so habitual for their sporadic behavior that you have started justifying it, or making reasons why they are so.

Why do people do the bench of others?

You must be wondering why someone will put you on the bench instead of committing a fully committed. This is a common question, and the brief answer is that people have various motivations and circumstances that take them to be benching others.

1. Fear of commitment

Many people sell others because they are afraid of commitment. This fear may arise from previous relationships where they may hurt or from general anxiety about losing their freedom.

When a person is afraid of being committed, they prefer to keep their options open rather than investing completely in a person. This allows them to avoid vulnerability coming with a committed relationship.

Studies in relationship psychology suggest that commitment is a significant obstacle to create fear permanent bond. By benching, they can maintain control over their romantic life without trapped.

2. Emotional non -availability

Emotional non -availability is another common cause of benching. Individuals who are emotionally unavailable, struggle to join a deep level, making them difficult to engage in a relationship.

They can place someone on the bench to avoid facing their feelings or to avoid getting very close. This behavior often masks the underlying issues such as previous trauma or unresolved personal conflicts.

Emotional unavailability, as it is revealed, can give rise to patterns of superficial relationships and prevent meaningful connections. Benching allows them to maintain companionship without the emotional depth required for a committed relationship.

3. Maintenance

They must be doing this because of their insecurity or desire for diversity in their romantic life. As mentioned earlier, maintaining many dating possibilities can promote self -esteem and reduce fear of loneliness. However, it often leads to shallow connections and can hurt people who are being benches.

4. A lack of clarity about their feelings

Sometimes, people benches others only because they are uncertain about their feelings. They require some time and space to find out what they really want without making a quick decision. This uncertainty means that they cannot be fully committed, without knowing where you stand, leave it in a kind of waiting period without knowing.

It is not always about trying to manipulate you; Often, this is just that they have not yet detected their feelings. By placing you on the bench, they are making a certain option until they feel more sure.

5. Avoiding emotional investment

Benching can be a strategy to avoid deep emotional investment. By placing someone at the length of the hand, individuals can enjoy the benefits of a relationship without the responsibilities that come with emotional intimacy.

Doing so helps them to protect themselves from potential heartbreak or despair. This allows them to open a connection completely or to maintain a connection without relying on the other person.

Emotional avoidance is often associated with previous experiences where they may be hurt or cheated. As a result, the benching becomes a defense mechanism to stay emotionally safe.

6. Promote self -esteem

For some, others serve as a way to promote their self -esteem. Many people interested in them can make them feel desirable and valid. This provides a sense of value without the need for real emotional relationship.

This behavior is often inspired by the need for insecurity and external verification. Psychological studies suggest that people who want verification through many relationships often struggle with issues of self -esteem. By benching, they can gain constant confirmation without the risk of being committed to a person.

7. Are chasing

Some people enjoy the excitement and adventures of the chase more than the stability of a committed relationship. Benching allows them to continue romantic discovery without settling. This may be associated with the desire of innovation and diversity in their romantic experiences.

8. Unwillings to give priority to relationship

When someone benches another person, it often reflects their reluctance to give priority to the relationship. They may have other commitments or …