Is voyeurism just spying on others? Here’s the truth about voyeurism, why it’s such a sexy crowd, and how to get into this sexy kink with your partner.
For many people, arousal doesn’t just come from having sex. In fact, many complications arise from seeing someone else sexually. Does this sound like you? Well, maybe you are interested in voyeurism.
If your first thought when reading the word “voyeurism” is a creepy old man spying on others in the park, think again. Voyeurism is a safe, sexual practice when done consensually between two adults. In fact, this is a fairly common pitfall!
So, if the idea of seeing someone turns you on as much as having sex with them, you’re not alone. Voyeurism brings a new way to experience sex without the distractions. For many people, their partner’s new approach excites them in ways that physical sex cannot.
What is voyeurism?
Voyeurism is a fetishism where a person derives sexual pleasure from watching someone undress or engage in a sexual act. The person who watches is a voyeur.
In role-play examples, a couple may act as if they are not aware that a voyeur is watching. One partner may act as if he or she has not seen their voyeur partner undress or masturbate.
This is an example of not consenting to voyeurism. But when the person who is actually being watched is not aware of their peeping tom, it is a violation of their consent and privacy.
Voyeurism is a fairly common kink that doesn’t leave the bedroom between two consenting partners. But in other cases, sexual fantasy can turn into a disorder that causes trouble and breaks the law.
What makes it so attractive?
For many people, voyeurism is a new way to have sex. Sure, they’re not physically having sex, but they’re still experiencing it visually. They’re seeing pleasure, seeing their partner feeling good, and it makes them feel good in return.
When voyeurism is practiced safely, it involves at least two consenting partners enacting a non-consensual scenario. Although their scenario may be non-consensual, both partners have already agreed on the roles to play.
Like any mess, some limits should be set to make sure everyone involved is safe and having fun. But it’s worth it.
When peeping is problematic
Like we said, peeping may be nothing more than a mischief you and your partner play in the bedroom. But there are extreme cases where this quirk can turn into voyeurism disorder or criminal voyeurism.
When the voyeur becomes obsessive the kink can develop into a voyeuristic disorder. They look for opportunities to voyeurize wherever they can, while neglecting all other parts of their lives.
Someone with voyeuristic disorder is extremely distressed, less able to function in *work, school, relationships, friendships, etc.*, and may act out on their criminal urges.
Voyeurism and exhibitionism
Voyeurism and exhibitionism are opposite sides of the same coin. Simply put, voyeurism is the excitement of watching someone undress or perform sexual acts. Its counterpart, exhibitionism, is the urge to remove clothing or engage in sexual acts while being watched.
Someone who is an exhibitionist has a strong desire to be watched by other people, which makes them a good match for a consensual voyeur. Exhibitionists fantasize about being watched, putting on a show for a partner, filming pornography, and dressing or undressing attractively to attract attention.
Consensual exhibitionism includes taking off your clothes while a neighbor knows you are watching, sending your partner nude photos while you are at work, or sending nude photos to a third person while you watch your partner engage in them. Could be inviting in the bedroom.
Ways to bring more sensuality into your sex life
If you love voyeurism, here are ways to explore your side of voyeurism with your boyfriend.
1. Use mirrors
Place a large mirror parallel to your bed the next time you have sex. If you don’t have a movable mirror, try having sex in a place where you have a mirror, like a closet or bathroom.
Watching you and your partner have sex in front of the mirror is an experience you won’t want to miss.
The mirror not only creates the effect that a third person is watching you, but it also stimulates voyeuristic and exhibitionistic tendencies. You get to watch your partner have sex, and your partner gets to watch you have sex! Win-win!
2. Role playing
Role-play is perfect for voyeurism. You can role play as strangers or role play where your partner doesn’t know you are watching.
They can then take off their clothes and pretend they don’t know you are in the next room, watching them through the keyhole or window crack.
3. Watch your partner masturbate
Ask your partner to masturbate while you remain invisible to them. You can watch secretly somewhere nearby or your partner can also blindfold you.
Since your partner knows you’re watching, but can’t see you, you can encourage them to have fun in ways that excite you.
4. Watch your partner shower or bathe
If your partner is going to take a bath or shower, ask them to leave the door open for you to watch. The act of taking off one’s clothes to go into the shower can be incredibly arousing!
5. Watch voyeurism porn
If you don’t know, voyeurism porn is a fairly popular genre in pornography. Not only can you enjoy watching the action, but you can also learn role-playing ideas and antics in bed to practice voyeurism with your partner.
6. Go to a strip club together
If there’s a strip club nearby, go there together and watch a live show or have a lap dance.
Although sex workers in clubs consent to being observed, you must remember that they do not consent to being recorded or to any other violation.
7. Get online on webcam
8. Go on vacation
Nudist resorts or sex vacations are great places to meet like-minded couples who enjoy the same activities as you.
9. Videotape yourself
If watching someone turns you on, videotape your partner or make a home video of the two of you having sex *just make sure it doesn’t get into the wrong hands*!
A homemade video can be the perfect thing to watch as foreplay. Your partner can even send you videos when they know you’re busy or at work so you can take a peek!
10. Watch another couple in bed
11. Watch your partner having sex with someone else
If you and your partner have some kind of open relationship agreement, ask them if they would be willing to have sex with someone else while you watch. Of course, you’ll need to set boundaries beforehand to make sure you and your partner are getting the best out of the experience.
Seeing your partner having sex with someone else can be a big turn-on. The cuckold dilemma happens for a reason! Establish rules with your partner and their sexual partners and voila!
12. Attend a kink party
For those unfamiliar with the concept, a kink party is a party for adults to engage in their sexual fantasies. At a kink party, you’ll get a lot of sex. All consenting adults who are open to exploring relationships with other adults.
At these parties, rules are established at the entrance. Of course, you’ll still want to get consent before hooking up with someone. But there will be plenty of couples performing to satisfy your voyeuristic desires!
safely enjoying voyeurism
Your voyeuristic side doesn’t make you a monster or a bad person, as long as you’re seeing someone who consents. If you engage in voyeurism, look for someone who wants to be looked at. Duration.
Use your bedroom to satisfy your voyeuristic side. Communicate and agree with your partner beforehand and continue to keep an eye on them while experimenting with voyeurism *and every other action in the bedroom.*
This sexual attraction can create a blurred line for those who may be struggling with voyeurism disorder or criminal voyeurism. If you or someone you know has any of the previously mentioned signs that their kink has become a disorder, contact a mental health counselor.
Voyeurism is a sexy and pleasurable excitement, but only if the person knows you are watching and he likes it. If you’re a casual voyeur who just wants to spice up your sex life, involve your partner and experiment with voyeurism together. Just remember, consent is important!
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