Lori Gottlieb, a relationship expert, shared some interesting insights on the best time to tie the knot without worrying about divorce. Gottlieb, a therapist based in Los Angeles, joined Dragons’ Den star Steven Bartlett on The Diary of a CEO podcast to chat about love, dating, and overcoming heartbreak.
Drawing from her own experiences and citing a study from the Institute of Family Studies, Gottlieb explained that there is a specific age when getting married may make a lasting relationship more likely. He sheds this bit of wisdom from his book, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, which has been a hit on the New York Times bestseller list.
Gottlieb’s advice suggests there’s a sweet spot in life where saying “I do” can mean an easier trip without the risk of a messy divorce.
According to the study, the prime age for marriage is between 25 and 30. It has been found that a person who marries at the age of 25 has 50 percent less chances of divorce than a person who marries at the age of 20.
He told Steven, “The thing about marrying too young is that you don’t necessarily have the skills and you’re not established in your life, you don’t necessarily have the maturity.” “But once you get to your mid to late 20s, it’s the best time because you have a better sense of who you are. You know more about what you want and you can grow together as a couple.”
He added, “You will have more shared experiences and learn more about each other. Your parents are probably still alive, you may know siblings who are more integrated into each other’s lives.
The study also showed that the likelihood of divorce decreases by 11 percent for each additional year before the age of 32. However, after 32, the likelihood of divorce begins to increase by 5 percent for each additional year.
“As you grow up you are more set in your ways, you are more rigid, you have different expectations, when you are younger you are more flexible. As we get older about relationships, we become less open-minded,” she said on the podcast. “As we get older, we also have a history, we probably have more negative breakup experiences. “Relationships that don’t work out shape how we behave in other relationships.”
“We’re punishing our current partner for a crime they didn’t commit, so if you were in a relationship before and someone didn’t treat you well, you’re going to be less trusting of the partner who You are with me. Some people think “If I have more dating experience I’ll be a better partner later on” but it’s hard because you have all this baggage and the other person your age has all this baggage that they’re bringing. .
In another conversation, Lori discussed how people nowadays have unrealistic expectations when looking for a partner. He explained that many individuals may give up on a potential relationship after just one date because they do not feel an immediate “spark”.
However, Lori highlighted an interesting insight: Many people in successful long-term relationships don’t feel that initial spark on their first date.
“It’s really interesting that people use the first date as a guide, when people who are in love and attracted to each other often don’t feel those sparks on the first, two or three dates. Well, maybe they were even friends for a while,” she said.
“People don’t give each other a chance to get to know the other person or don’t let the other person get to know you because they have this illusion, thanks to dating apps, that there are a lot of people out there. If you keep messing with people you will never get to know anyone and know if that person is someone you want to be with.’
Lori suggests a simple but important question to ask yourself after a first date: “Did I have a good time?” If the answer is yes, she recommends trying it with a second date. It doesn’t have to be a mind-blowing experience; Just see what happens the second time.
Lori also mentioned that men and women have different expectations of a relationship. He noted,
“I think expectations for men are mostly created based on appearance, for the younger generation especially because they’re growing up on these ‘thirst traps’ that are posted on social media that are filtered. . So they really have unrealistic expectations when they look at people in real life.
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Source: Diary of a CEO on YouTube
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