Is sexting cheating? 32 signs to talk to your partner, must know more ways

With modern technology also comes modern methods of fraud. But is sexting with a pornographic picture or naughty message cheating if there is no physical relationship?

The topic of cheating is blurry because everyone defines infidelity differently. No one wants to think about their partner being unfaithful. But sometimes this topic is unavoidable and we need to talk about things like virtual fraud. Is sexting cheating? What about emotional cheating? If they don’t follow it, should it still count?

Many people may not want to hear the answers to these questions but it is very important to understand them in a relationship. To create boundaries, both partners need to understand where to draw the line.

What is sexting?

Sexting essentially means having sexual conversations with people over the phone. The word itself is a play on “sex” and “texting”. Sexting can be a way to add excitement to a relationship, but it can be harmful if one partner is sexting with someone outside the relationship.

These conversations can vary in seriousness. Flirtatious texts of a sexual nature, illicit audio clips, sending suggestive or nude photos, making explicit video calls and messaging sexual fantasies, anything counts as sexting.

Sexting is not just about the words sent, it is also about how the words make you feel. It creates intimacy with a person outside the relationship. This raises the question, is sexting cheating?

Does sexting lead to physical relations?

Most people associate cheating with a physical relationship, so there’s no shame in wondering if sexting does the same. Although not every case of sexting will automatically lead to a physical relationship, most certainly have the intention of doing so.

Sexting is a sign of dissatisfaction in a relationship. When a person engages in sexual interaction with another person, disinterest in his partner forces him to seek interests outside the relationship.

So while sexting starts out virtually, there’s a high chance that it will turn into a personal relationship if the opportunity presents itself.

So, is sexting cheating?

Now, what if there is no physical fraud? What if it’s just texting? Does it still matter? Although some may argue over the correct answer to this question, we believe the truth is quite clear.

Yes. Sexting is definitely cheating—here’s why:

1. It’s a betrayal

Cheating takes many forms, from physical to emotional. But what all these types have in common is that there is betrayal. Betrayal of trust, monogamy, and betrayal of intimacy. Just because sexting is virtual doesn’t mean it’s any less legitimate.

2. It’s giving sexual attention to someone outside the relationship

The question of whether sexting is cheating is confusing because cheating is usually associated with having physical sex outside of one’s relationship.

So, to determine if sexting is cheating, you have to look at sexting for what it is: sexual attention outside of the relationship.

Even if sexual attention comes in the form of text messages, videos, or fantasy, it’s still sex. If there are boundaries in your relationship that suggest you are a committed, monogamous couple, sexting is completely breaking those boundaries.

3. There is an emotional connection

Not every case of cheating involves sexual infidelity. In fact, emotional attachment plays a huge role in cheating. Loyalty means loyalty and loyalty in a relationship means not getting emotionally involved elsewhere.

Focusing your attention on people outside your relationship takes away from how you feel about your current partner.

4. It is kept secret

If sexting is kept a secret from your relationship, it is cheating. This is a clear sign that the sexting relationship is given more importance than the real relationship, which is an immediate sign of betrayal.

Healthy relationships are built on open communication and trust. And we usually hide things to avoid consequences when we know they are wrong. So even if sexting was done in secret, it was known to harm relationships, yet it was still done. Remember, if you’re hiding it, you shouldn’t be doing this.

Signs that your partner is sexting

If you’ve recently become suspicious of your partner’s texting habits, listen to your gut. As we said above, sexting is usually hidden from the suspecting partner because they know it’s wrong and they don’t want to get caught. They feel invincible because of their secrecy, but there are still signs you can spot.

That said, any hint of secrecy or over-protectiveness about privacy is an indicator that your partner may be sexting.

1. Is texting becoming much more frequent?

2. Take your phone with you everywhere.

3. Deleting text messages or phone records.

4. Keep their phone out of reach.

5. Leaving the room to answer messages or calls.

6. You put a password on their phone that you don’t know.

7. Turns their phone face down.

8. Turned off notifications on his phone.

9. Fall asleep with your phone under you.

10. There are strange names in their contact list.

11. It takes longer to respond to your messages.

12. His daily routine has changed.

13. There are explicit images on his phone that were not sent to you.

14. When you ask who they message they get defensive.

Effects of sexting context

Although it may not be physical cheating, sexting is still a type of cheating that crosses boundaries, and it holds the same importance as a physical relationship. These are some of the effects of the sexting context.

1. Lack of trust

2. Creates barriers between you

Sexting jeopardizes the emotional bond of the relationship couple and leads to separation. When someone reaches out of the relationship for an intimate connection, partners face disconnection.

This barrier makes empathy, privacy, companionship and communication between the couple more difficult.

3. Resentment

4. Fear of intimacy

You trusted someone you were intimate with, and they went behind your back to get intimate with someone else.

This can create a fear of being intimate with the same person again. Or, if you outgrow one relationship, it may spill over to another intimate relationship.

5. Betrayal trauma

It is possible that you will be shocked to find out that your partner has cheated on you. If it was a committed, monogamous relationship, their betrayal will leave a lasting impact on you and your relationship.

Betrayal trauma can manifest in many forms, including anxiety, depression, intrusive thoughts, poor emotional regulation, and feelings of hopelessness in moving on.

6. Desire or attempt to take revenge

Broken trust and betrayal come with their fair share of negative emotions. Being the victim of a cheating partner may make you want to take revenge to deal with it.

However, these attempts to get even with your partner, such as having revenge sex, usually involve self-sabotage and harmful behaviors that prevent you from moving on from infidelity.

How to deal with a partner who is sexting with someone else

Moving forward in a relationship after cheating is a personal decision that some people make and some don’t. Regardless, if you feel that your relationship should move forward, there are some things you should do to get closure and cope efficiently.

1. Confront them

You clearly know or have a very strong idea that they are sexting with someone else, so you deserve a civil discussion about what’s going on.

Ask them why they are doing this and how long this has been going on. Are they insecure about some aspect of your relationship? And why did they feel they needed to look outside the relationship for fulfillment? What were they looking at while sexting with someone else?

2. Discuss their cheating

Talk about fraud. Was sexting previously established as illegal behavior in your relationship? Both of you may have to decide this. Even if you don’t want to call it cheating, it’s still a huge betrayal of trust. You have to talk it out and decide where to draw the lines.

In some cases, you may need to talk about what is acceptable to both of you. If there aren’t clear boundaries set in your relationship, it’s time to discuss them together.

3. Decide if it’s excusable

Breaking trust that cannot be rebuilt is a death sentence for relationships. However, depending on your relationship, it can be saved after discussing the matter with your partner.

4. Get a support system

You will want your close friends and family with you when dealing with this type of situation. Talk to them and tell them what happened.

If you’re feeling down, ask them to give you advice and cheer you up. After you’ve made a solid decision about moving forward, you’ll want to let them know so they can be there for you.

5. Seek professional help

Whether you have decided to pursue your relationship or not, a professional counselor can be very valuable in your journey. They can provide reassurance, support, and guidance to recover from infidelity.

6. Try couples therapy

For a relationship to work, both partners need to be equally involved in mending broken relationships. This means that you can’t expect to put in all your effort and get no rewards if your partner doesn’t even put in the effort. Couples therapy is an option for people who think their relationship can move forward.

A counselor can help you explore the issues in your relationship that led to infidelity and help restore security in your partner.

7. Or pack your things and leave

Ultimately, it’s really hard to make things right with someone who cheated on you. Your best bet is to leave them.

If they’re disrespecting you in such a horrible way, they’re probably not worth your time. Save yourself the extra trouble later and leave them now.

Being intimate with someone other than your partner is cheating, whether through text or in person. No physical contact is required. If it involves their feelings then it is cheating.