From its effects to how to deal with it, 51 things you need to know

Bigamy may not be for everyone. Here’s everything you need to know to ensure you can easily deal with this situation if you find yourself in it.

So you’ve found yourself deeply committed to two things at once. This may seem manageable—until it isn’t. We’re not talking about Netflix shows, but about the complex and legally murky waters of bigamy. In many places, bigamy is a criminal offense that can result in fines, imprisonment, or both.

What is bigamy?

According to the Legal Dictionary, bigamy is “the state of having two wives or two husbands at the same time.” Now that we have the formal definition, let’s break it down.

Think of bigamy as the marital version of a double-booked calendar, only it’s less innocent and more legally complicated.

You’re promising your lifelong commitment to not just one, but two people at the same time! It sounds like an episode of a soap opera, but for some people it’s a real-life situation.

When it comes to the law, bigamy is not a universal “no-no.” In countries like the United States, Canada, and most of Europe, engaging in bigamy can get you in trouble. We’re talking fines, jail sentences or a combination of the two.

But wait, there’s more or less to it, depending on how you look at it. In some countries or communities, bigamy is less stigmatized and may even be legally sanctioned under some religious or customary laws.

In parts of Africa and the Middle East, bigamy is often legally accepted or even encouraged. For example, Islamic law allows a man to have up to four wives, provided he treats them all equally.

Similarly, traditional customary laws in some African countries such as Kenya and South Africa allow polygamy.

In contrast, Hindu law in India used to permit bigamy under certain conditions, but this has now changed. The Hindu Marriage Act of 1955 made it illegal for a Hindu person to have more than one spouse.

However, some loopholes still exist within the scope of personal and religious laws, making the issue more complex.

These legal exceptions are often subject to intense debate and scrutiny.

Psychology behind bigamy

Why would anyone willingly step into the maze of bigamy? Is it love, lust or something more complex woven into the fabric of human psychology?

Let’s take a look at some of the reasons – beyond the obsessive love of wedding cake – that people may engage in bigamy.

1. Cognitive dissonance

People who practice bigamy often face a significant mental challenge: reconciling two conflicting realities. Cognitive dissonance is a psychological term that refers to the uncomfortable tension we feel when we hold contradictory beliefs.

For either of the two in a marriage, it may also mean feeling committed to one partner and honoring the vows made to the other.

Leading these parallel lives requires mental agility, as they must constantly balance two relationships to avoid getting caught.

2. Narcissistic Traits

Some research suggests a relationship between narcissistic personality traits and the tendency to engage in bigamy.

People with narcissistic tendencies often have a sense of possessiveness and a constant need for attention.

3. Role of dopamine

For some individuals, the amount of dopamine experienced in the early stages of love becomes addictive. This addiction to the thrill of new love can cause them to commit to multiple people sequentially, leaving them constantly seeking that euphoric feeling that new relationships often provide.

4. Fear of abandonment

Some people have a pervasive fear of abandonment that stems from past experiences or deep-rooted insecurities.

5. Social recognition

In some cultures or social circles, having multiple spouses may elevate one’s social status. The act of engaging in bigamy can provide not only emotional but also social benefits, providing a sense of accomplishment or validation.

For these individuals, marriage serves as a status symbol that enhances their social standing and self-worth.

6. Economic benefits

Marriage is often much more than an emotional commitment; This could also be a financial arrangement. Some individuals engage in bigamy for economic benefits such as double income, property gain, or even manipulation of social security systems.

Emotional impact of bigamy on partners

So you’ve just found out that your spouse has another spouse. It’s not just the double marital bliss that’s shocking, but the impact this revelation has on your emotional and psychological well-being.

Here’s how discovering a partner’s bigamy can affect different aspects of your emotional life.

1. Betrayal trauma

Finding out that you are the unwed spouse in a bigamous relationship can trigger what psychologists call “betrayal trauma.”

This type of trauma occurs when someone we trust violates that trust in a significant way. The emotional impact can be immense, causing anxiety, flashbacks and even post-traumatic stress disorder *PTSD* like symptoms.

Dealing with the trauma of betrayal often requires professional help such as therapy and counseling to deal with the complex emotions involved.

2. Trust issues

One of the most damaging long-term effects of discovering bigamy is the erosion of trust. Trust is a fundamental element in any relationship, and finding out about a partner’s bigamy can shatter it into pieces.

This breakdown often carries over into future relationships, making it difficult for the betrayed spouse to trust new partners.

3. Effect on self-esteem

Learning that a spouse has committed bigamy can have a significant impact on one’s self-esteem and self-worth. Revelation often leads to self-doubt, such as “Was I not enough?” To disturb the mind.

This lack of self-esteem can be a precursor to more serious mental health issues such as depression or anxiety disorders.

4. Emotional detachment

When a partner’s involvement in bigamy is revealed, it often leads to feelings of isolation from both friends and family. This may be due to embarrassment or a change in shared social circle.

The resulting emotional isolation intensifies loneliness and despair. Even when bigamy is legally recognized, the stigma associated with it and the complex dynamics involved can hinder efforts to seek support or connect with a community, leading to increased isolation .

5. Parental Stress

If children are involved, disclosure of bigamy can also place a strain on the parent-child relationship. Parents may face questions and even resentment from their children, who are also struggling with the emotional fallout.

6. Social stigma

The social judgment that comes with unknowingly engaging in a bigamous relationship can be crushing. People may experience embarrassment or humiliation, which can further deteriorate their mental health.

Even if the betrayed spouse is completely innocent, societal attitudes may still unfairly stigmatize them, making recovery even more challenging.

7. Identity crisis

When the cornerstone of someone’s life—their marriage—proves to be built on lies, it can lead to an identity crisis. Individuals may begin to question their judgment, their choices, and even their self-worth.

This turmoil can lead to a long-term journey of self-discovery, which, while potentially enriching, is often born from a place of emotional turmoil.

8. Emotional exhaustion

The sheer amount of energy required to process the betrayal, combined with dealing with practical aspects such as legal proceedings, can deplete one’s emotional reserves, leading to burnout and reduced ability to cope.

9. Loss of trust

Imagine that one day you find out that your partner has another family or life partner. This revelation can shatter your faith not only in your relationship, but in broader institutions like marriage, and possibly even your religious beliefs.

Such a crisis can throw you into an existential dilemma, where you find yourself questioning everything: “Am I not enough?” “What else don’t I know?” “Can I ever trust anyone again?”

These questions challenge your fundamental thoughts and force you to grapple with deep emotional and spiritual turmoil.

10. Health implications

The emotional stress resulting from bigamy often has physical manifestations such as sleeplessness, loss of appetite, or even psychosomatic symptoms.

11. Insecurity and paranoia

After such an intense betrayal, it is common for spouses to become highly suspicious or paranoid in all of their interpersonal relationships, not just romantic ones. This heightened state of alertness can be tiring and make it difficult to form or maintain meaningful relationships with others.

Even in cases where bigamy is legal, these feelings of insecurity and paranoia can still emerge, further complicating relationships.

12. Emotional Numbness

Dissociating from one’s feelings may be a short-term way to manage overwhelming emotions, but it often hinders true emotional healing and can lead to long-term mental health concerns.

13. Complicated Grief

The end of any marriage involves a grieving process, but bigamy adds an additional layer of complexity. Spouses mourn not only the end of the relationship, but also the betrayal and deception, which can make the grieving process more lengthy and complicated.

14. Need for verification

After experiencing such a betrayal, there may be an intense need for external validation to rebuild the broken self-image.

This can make individuals vulnerable to entering new relationships too quickly or seeking validation in unhealthy ways, which comes with its own set of emotional risks.

15. Legal and financial stress

Although not entirely emotional, the legal consequences of bigamy often add another layer of stress to an already emotionally charged situation.

How does bigamy affect children?

The effects of bigamy are not limited to the couple alone, but can also have far-reaching effects on the children caught in its whirlpool.

Let’s look at how discovering a parent’s bigamy can shape a child’s psychological and emotional world.

1. Divided attention

Finding out that a parent is involved in bigamy can be confusing for a child, as it often causes a parent’s attention to be divided between multiple families.

The child may feel neglected or less important, which can contribute to emotional and behavioral issues. Not only does time spent with parents decrease, but the quality of that time may also decrease, leading to increased feelings of neglect.

2. Attachment theory

A bigamous family structure threatens this stability and can affect a child’s ability to form secure attachments later in life. Without a secure base, children may struggle with trust issues and emotional regulation.

3. Confusion and identification

The revelation of bigamy can sow the seeds of confusion in the child’s mind. What are they related to? Which family is their “real” family?

4. Financial stress

Bigamy often involves financial fraud or division of resources, which can lead to reduced financial stability for child rearing.

This additional stress can affect the child’s quality of life and cause emotional stress due to financial stress within the family.

5. Role Modeling

Parents are a child’s first role models, and bigamy sets a complicated precedent when it comes to relationships and commitment.

6. Trust issues

Like their unfaithful parents, children too…