Every guy should know, the options and how to support him

Finding out your girlfriend is a shock. But it is important that you take your time, let the news unfold, and move forward together in a collaborative manner.

There is nothing more life-changing than having a child. The moment you find out your girlfriend is pregnant, your life changes forever, whether you decide to keep the baby or not. Something changes inside you, and it can make or break your relationship.

A man’s mind gets bogged down with worries about how he will support a child and later arrange for things like college. He worries about things that are not immediate but in the future.

The problem is that sudden conception is one of the most difficult scenarios for any couple. There are many emotions involved in pregnancy, and worries and anxieties about the future can push you over the edge if you allow them.

What to do if your girlfriend is pregnant?

When your girlfriend tells you she’s pregnant, you should jump straight into supportive boyfriend mode. Of course, you should always be in that mode, but in this case, it needs to go into hyperdrive.

It’s very easy to be shocked by a news story and react negatively. Although this is understandable to some extent, you should let your girlfriend know that it was just a momentary nervousness and that you are totally there for her, no matter the outcome.

Remember, she’s scared right now. She probably doesn’t know what to do, and even if she does, she’s worried about what’s going to happen to her body and how she’ll cope with new motherhood.

Do you have something to say? And what if you disagree?

As the child’s father, you are entitled to have a say in the matter. But you have no legal claim whether your girlfriend keeps the baby, puts it up for adoption, or has an abortion. Ultimately, it’s his body.

However, this child is your other half, so your girlfriend should listen to you and consider that. This doesn’t mean he has to do exactly what you want, but the two of you should sit down and discuss things and make decisions together if you can.

However, it’s possible that you may disagree. In such a situation, you will have to try your best to remain calm and talk to your girlfriend. Don’t yell at him – put your case forward and express your feelings.

Remember, you can’t force her to do anything, but we will hope that, as your girlfriend, she will listen to you and consider everything.

How to react when your girlfriend is pregnant?

We’ve already mentioned that when you find out your girlfriend is pregnant, you’re likely to have that goldfish moment where your mouth is wide open and moving up and down and nothing is out. Comes out. Don’t worry, this is normal.

But once you gain control over your ability to speak and think straight, it is important that you consider these points.

1. Be helpful

2. Take responsibility and co-parent

If both of you decide to keep the child, you must do your part to contribute. This means taking responsibility and co-parenting with your girlfriend, whether you live together as a couple or not.

3. Get married and raise your child together

It’s not really necessary unless you want to do it, but some couples choose to get married when they have children.

4. Participate in the Adoption/Fostering Process

It may happen that you decide that you do not want to keep the child and in that case, both of you can opt for adoption/fostering.

If so, make sure you are with your girlfriend every step of the way, especially at the end. This is going to be extremely emotional for her and she will need you for support and strength.

5. Comfort her during the abortion process

If you decide that you will not keep the baby and decide to have an abortion, make sure you are there for your girlfriend. She will find it very difficult and will need you to comfort her from beginning to end.

6. Worst option – take no responsibility

We don’t recommend this option at all, but it is an option that many people decide to adopt. If you don’t want anything to do with her after the pregnancy or childbirth – if your girlfriend decides to keep it – you can just walk away. But don’t do that!

Look, we’re trying to give you a balanced view here, but once you find out your girlfriend is pregnant, running away and ghosting her is not the way to proceed. Neither is just telling him you’re not interested.

Three main options for unplanned pregnancy

Your girlfriend is pregnant and both of you are recovering from this shock. Now you have to think what to do.

Adoption

Adoption means that your girlfriend keeps the baby as her own and once the baby is born, it is handed over to their adoptive parents or placed in foster care until a permanent home is found.

It is often the preferred option for women who do not want an abortion but who either do not want to become parents now or do not want to become parents at all.

If adoption is on your radar there are some questions you need to explore:

1. Which adoption agency do you want to use? Do your research carefully.

2. How do they pay for medical care?

3. How will you choose parents?

4. What type of adoption do you want to adopt? Closed, semi-open, or open?

6. How much school or work will your girlfriend miss?

It’s a good idea to talk to other people who have given a child up for adoption and find out their experiences. You should also carefully research adoption agencies and talk to several before making your final choice.

If you and your girlfriend really feel that you are not ready to be parents and you do not like the idea of ​​an abortion, adoption allows another couple to become parents and have your child forever. To get a loving home.

However, don’t assume that once the adoption is complete, you can just go back to your life and forget everything.

abortion

But if you are able to access abortion services and you feel abortion is the best option for you, ask yourself these questions to support your choice:

1. How far away is your girlfriend? Abortion is legal only up to a certain period of pregnancy and varies from state to state.

2. What types of procedures will be available? Depending on how many weeks pregnant your girlfriend is, she may be able to access a medical or surgical abortion.

4. Are you aware of the risks and procedures involved?

5. How will you pay for an abortion?

6. Where are you planning to have an abortion?

7. Is abortion consistent with your morals and beliefs?

Getting an abortion is not an easy option and is made even more complicated by restrictions on services.

Raising a Child – Questions and Scenarios to Consider

The second option is to keep the child. You may feel like deep down you both want to do this, but it still feels scary to think about. Don’t worry, this is a completely normal reaction!

However, having a baby at any age is complicated. It is important to know what is going to arrive at your door and how you will handle it.

1. Money related problems

You may worry that you don’t have enough money, but there will never be a time in your life when you feel financially secure enough to have a child. That’s unless you make your first million by age thirty, or you’re too old to really enjoy their childhood.

2. You think you are too young

The youth are all relatives. Of course, there is an ideal age to have a child, but your age does not determine how good a parent you will be.

3. You haven’t been dating for very long

If your girlfriend is pregnant, you have to understand that having a baby is stressful in any relationship, whether you’ve been together for ten years or two.

If you’re committed to loving the baby no matter what happens in your relationship, you won’t put so much pressure on yourself to do everything together at the same time.

Focus on what your priorities are and readjust as needed. Take your relationship one day at a time and try to build the underlying friendships needed for parenthood.

4. Your relationship is already bad

They include sleepless nights, anxiety, pressure and most of all, fear of the unknown. Even if you have the greatest relationship in the world, it will still be challenging when you hear that your girlfriend is pregnant.

You are going to be parents, whether it is a joint partnership or not. No matter what type of relationship you decide on, learning to get along and support each other is the key to a happy and healthy family, whether intact or otherwise.

5. Should you get married?

When your girlfriend tells you she’s pregnant, your first thought is “Should I ask her to marry me?” If you were thinking about it before pregnancy, it can add more excitement to the surprise of pregnancy.

6. Will she be angry with you if you don’t propose?

Look, some women find it shameful to get pregnant and not get married. If you love him, and you feel that you want to spend your life with him, it is best to commit out in the open.

Even if you don’t succeed in getting married, an engagement can help calm her fears about the future.

7. But if you propose, will she think you did it out of obligation?

Possibly so. You see, one of the hardest things about telling your boyfriend that you’re pregnant is feeling like you’re “ruining” his life or “trapping” him into something.

8. Telling friends and loved ones

If you think telling your family is hard, think about how hard it was for them to tell you. There was only one of them. If you go out to friends and family as a team and tell them you are showing strength, nothing can come your way except positive energy. If they don’t approve then tighten the screws on them.

9. How will a child affect your career and dreams?

There are two ways to look at the baby coming into your life and what it means for your career and future.

You either use it as a means to motivate you to work harder for your dreams. Or, you may feel bad about yourself and blame your lack of progress on the fact that you are going through a hard time.

10. Your house or mine? Or not?

Assuming you both have separate spaces, decide whether to keep separate spaces or live together. If you don’t live together, you may be missing out on some of the most magical times of being pregnant.

If you choose to move on, whether you like it or not, you will be stuck together, because the financial situation is not going to get better.

11. Insurance Issues

Hopefully, he has medical insurance. In that case, she is covered for pregnancy, birth and beyond. However, if he does not have insurance, you need to do something very quickly to help him in the coming months.

12. What about your jobs?

If you both currently work, will you both continue to work or will you work and she will spend some time with the baby for a while? Many women continue their careers while having children, but it is their personal choice what they want to do.

13. Child Care Issues

If you decide to both work or you are both in school, what child care options are available to you and how much do they cost?

And when you choose to spend some time together, is there a friend or family member you trust enough to take care of your new happiness?

14. Will you continue your education?

If neither of you are currently in education, this won’t be an issue for you. But if someone…