If your boyfriend has bad friends, and they are a negative influence on him, keep reading and learn how you should deal with this situation.
You are the sum of the people you hang out with. Frat-mentality is a real thing, and girls do things to impress other girls, like dress fashionable, and boys do things to impress other boys, like lift weights, or win a- To challenge others. It happens all the time, at any age, and yes, both men and women are guilty of it. It’s one of those human things we all fall into. So, when your boyfriend has bad friends, it’s more than just a minor annoyance.
This can really have a big impact on him – from the way he acts, to the choices he makes, to how he views your relationship. Receiving approval is a powerful motivator, and when it’s coming from a much younger crowd, well, that’s when things can get a little tricky in your love story.
The Real Deal on How His Friends Affect Your Love Story
You’ve probably heard the saying that the average person is the five people you spend the most time with. Well, it turns out there’s more truth to it than just a catchy phrase, especially when it comes to understanding why your boyfriend’s choice of friends matters.
Let’s start with this thing called the chameleon effect. It is a psychological phenomenon where individuals unconsciously copy the behavior, mannerisms, and attitudes of the people around them.
Think about it – when your boyfriend spends too much time with his friends, he may begin to mirror their behavior, even not-so-good behavior. This is an inherent psychological reaction. If his friends have certain negative qualities, chances are he may start to reflect those behaviors, even if it’s not his usual style.
Moving forward, also consider the concept of peer influence. It is a powerful force, especially in shaping attitudes and behavior. In a relationship, if your boyfriend has bad friends, their influence can extend far beyond their immediate interactions.
It can affect his decision making, risk-taking behavior, and even how he views certain aspects of life. This is because our brains are wired to value social information we receive from our peers, sometimes overruling our own better judgment.
Finally, let’s not forget about conformance. It is the tendency to align our behavior and beliefs with that of a group. Even if your boyfriend doesn’t completely agree with everything his friends do or say, the pressure to conform may lead him to go along with them, sometimes at the expense of his own values or yours. At the expense of the health of the relationship.
People you wish you weren’t friends with
Before you decide to take some drastic action like “telling” your boyfriend to find new friends, you need to become familiar with the problem and the people who are causing said problem. This is a list of the usual suspects in a guy’s life and what they’re capable of.
1. Promoter
This is number one on the nope list. Every group of people has one. He lives a glamorous life that is the envy of most of his friends. His experiences are the basis of everyone else’s goals in Guy World. However, the problem is that he is very territorial when it comes to his friends.
Once a girl comes into the picture, she starts to feel like the group dynamic is being messed with – thus, she starts showing off her feelings to her friends, including your boyfriend, to prove it to you. Will do everything in his power to break out of established boundaries. You have no rights on their son.
2. Pseudo-Bender
This guy is always either having a “bad day” or a really “good day.” Either way, he’d like to celebrate each one with a pint of beer, followed by an unlimited round of shots from an open tab at the bar.
To justify his penchant for ordering dinner in the middle of the day, he needs someone else who can be present and drink as much as him.
This is where your good, loving boyfriend comes in. Having a girlfriend becomes the most attractive prospect for him, because that’s how life works. At the end of the day, your boyfriend chose to get drunk before happy hour, but that’s really the price of being a good friend.
3. The boy who spoils his luck
Agreed that helping other people is a very noble virtue. However, if said helpless person starts relying on your boyfriend for anything and everything, you might wrinkle your forehead.
There’s a limit to what one person can do, but letting someone else stay with you and your partner indefinitely might be pushing it.
4. beautiful
Girl, you’re hot and your boyfriend knows it. Unfortunately, some of his friends may be thinking the same thing and the worst part is that they won’t be shy about showing it. Some people call them “players”, while others are simply “desperates”.
Either way, when their hands start appraising your merchandise with a little too much enthusiasm, you’re in trouble.
Not only is it difficult to catch this guy in the act, but he’s also probably very good at getting back at you when you start complaining. Definitely not.
5. Crook
Sometimes, he also appears as all the other people mentioned above. The bad news is that your boyfriend probably worships her and will do whatever she says. The good news is – wait, there is no good news.
6. The Eternal Bachelor
This guy is the epitome of the single life. He is interested in parties, late nights, and never sobering up. When your boyfriend moves in with her, there’s a risk that he may start adopting that bachelor lifestyle, even if he’s in a committed relationship with you.
The effect here is subtle – it’s not about doing anything harmful at all, but rather sowing seeds of doubt about the joys of a committed relationship. This is a classic case of the “grass is always greener” syndrome.
7. Mr. Conspiracy Theorist
This dude sees a conspiracy in everything from the moon landing to fast food. Although it’s healthy to question things and not take everything at face value, this friend takes doubt to a whole new level.
The danger here is that your boyfriend may begin to adopt some strange beliefs or grow distrustful of mainstream stories. It’s one thing to be open-minded, but it’s another thing to fall into the trap of conspiracy theories.
8. Evergreen Gamer
Video games are his life. It’s good to have hobbies, but when your boyfriend’s friend is always obsessed with him, it can encourage similar behavior in your boyfriend.
9. Rude person
This is the friend who has no filter or sense of common decency. He always makes inappropriate comments, disregards others’ feelings, and is generally aggressive.
When your boyfriend spends time with her, there is a risk that he may begin to normalize this abusive behavior.
10. User
Finally, we’ve got the classic case of ‘The User’. This friend is like a black hole for favors – always borrowing money, asking for stuff, and magically disappearing when it’s time to give back.
You definitely don’t want to see your boyfriend taking advantage of you, right? It’s like watching someone you love get cheated on a one-way street of giving. Not good at all.
Plus, there’s the worry that your guy might start to think that this kind of behavior is normal, which is a big turn off. It’s all about maintaining that balance and making sure your boyfriend doesn’t get caught up in the user-friendliness controversy.
What if his friends are bad influences?
If you find that your guy always hangs out in dirty company, here are some things you can do to ensure that their mentality does not affect him.
1. Get to know them better
Before anything else, you need to assess whether the problem really lies with his friends. There may be times when you are blaming someone who is not at fault.
2. New faces
One way to handle the energy vampires that your boyfriend calls friends is to keep him busy with activities that involve meeting new people. Ideally, you’ll already know the new faces you’ll be introducing him to, which means you know they won’t have a negative impact on him or you.
If you introduce him to new people, and both of you make new friends, he will have to spend less time with friends who are taking him down the wrong path in life.
Obviously, at the end of the day it’s up to him whether he hangs out with new faces or old faces, but if he’s serious about you and values your relationship, he won’t mind trying new things. There will be no problem.
3. Express yourself
Nobody likes snakes. However, there are several ways you can express your thoughts and concerns to someone you care about without sounding like their mother or coming off as a Debbie Downer.
If your guy is hanging out with his friends, and you feel that they are a negative influence, one way to handle the situation is to sit down with him and talk to him in a mature manner.
The key to doing this is to make sure you don’t come across as someone who is lecturing him. You don’t want to seem like you’re teaching him courage or talking to him like he’s a child. He is not. In a calm, mature way, express your concerns and show by example how much of a negative impact he has on you when he hangs out with some of his friends.
4. Encourage positive activities
Suggest activities that you, your boyfriend, and his friends can do together that are positive and healthy. This could be anything from group hiking to volunteering.
This is a subtle way of shifting the dynamics from potentially negative impacts to more constructive impacts. Plus, it’s a chance for you to connect with her circle in a different setting, which may help change your perspective of them.
5. Set up double dates
Arrange a double date with other couples. This brings new people into the social mix and can reduce the negative influence of bad friends.
6. Positive reinforcement
Whenever your boyfriend makes a decision that goes against the influence of his bad friends, be sure to acknowledge and praise him.
Reinforcing his good choices helps him see the value in avoiding negative influences. It’s like giving him a high-five for choosing a healthy path.
7. Engage in open discussion
Have regular open, non-judgmental discussions about friendships and their implications. It is not about pointing fingers but about understanding each other’s point of view.
8. Tell them you don’t like the situation and give them a second chance
You can be the bigger person and talk to your boyfriend’s friends when he’s around. There may be a possibility that the whole thing may reach a confrontation, but it will be good for you to keep things out in the open.
Once his friends understand that you have trouble with what they do when they’re together, they may be willing to change their ways to reduce tension and improve their relationship in the process. Can’t afford to lose a friend.
9. Lead by example
Show her the kind of friendship that is nourishing and positive by being an example yourself. Spend time with your good friends and invite them along.
When he sees the difference between healthy friendships and toxic friendships, it may encourage him to reevaluate his choices.
10. Encourage self-reflection
Sometimes, a gentle nudge toward self-reflection can do wonders. Encourage your boyfriend to think…
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