Playing the victim is a manipulation tactic that never gets you anywhere. When you do this to others it makes you controlling, self-absorbed, and toxic.
No one wants to become a victim of fraud, abuse, or unknowing actions of other people. But surprisingly, playing the victim without actually being the victim is something that many people do.
They may do this to get attention, for pity, or simply because they can avoid it.
If that’s you, and you think your life is all good and wonderful playing the victim, we’re about to prove you very, very wrong. You see, people who play the victim only do so to gain an edge over someone. For example, in a relationship you play the victim to avoid accepting blame for your mistakes. See what we mean by manipulation?
The psychology behind playing the role of a victim
We’re going to look at why some people get stuck in this pattern and how it’s linked to deeper psychological factors.
When we talk about playing the victim, we are really talking about a mindset where a person constantly sees themselves as the injured party, regardless of the situation. It’s a way of looking at the world that can be deeply ingrained.
Playing the victim is often associated with a concept in psychology called ‘external locus of control’. This is where a person believes that external forces, rather than their own actions, control the outcomes of their life.
Another relevant theory is ‘cognitive dissonance’. It is the discomfort that a person experiences when holding two conflicting beliefs or viewpoints.
A person may internally recognize his or her own fault in a situation, but to avoid the discomfort of this self-awareness, he or she distorts the story to portray himself or herself as the victim. This allows them to maintain their self-image and avoid the uncomfortable feeling of being wrong.
Furthermore, the role of victim may be linked to certain personality traits, as studied in personality psychology. Traits such as low agreeableness and high neuroticism may make a person more prone to adopting a victim stance in conflicts.
Why is it such a bad thing to play the victim?
This is a bad thing because it usually means you are shifting blame. You know it’s your fault and instead of being a decent human being and apologizing, you act like it was their fault. The worst part is that if the person you’re victimizing is kind and selfless, they’ll do it anyway.
They will apologize for something that was your fault. How cruel is he? When you make a habit of doing this in all your relationships and friendships, we promise you, you’ll overcome them all. No one likes someone who manipulates things solely to their advantage.
When you do this, you are just making people feel sorry for you instead of doing the moral thing and apologizing. Playing the victim is one of the gaslighting tactics, which is once again another technique of manipulation.
What will playing the victim do to you?
Here are some of the ways playing the whole victim game can make your life worse.
1. You are an energy vampire
If you are always putting out negative energy, you will attract negative energy. No one wants to be around someone who is always complaining and talking about how life sucks.
For example, if you meet a guy at the bar and he asks you how you are, he doesn’t actually mean that he wants you to tell him every little thing that’s currently going on with you. It is wrong.
You suck the life out of everything and everyone around you. Don’t you get tired of constantly being the victim? Aren’t you a little tired of manipulative games?
2. You worry too much
If you’re always upset and worried about things, you’re basically wasting all the time that you could have used for more quality time. You can carry an umbrella as much as you want, but that does not mean that the meteorologist will predict the weather correctly.
If you’re always worried about making sure you have control, you’ll never really achieve it. When you play the victim, you worry too much, simple as that. So you will never be able to live a full life when you are constantly surrounded by worry and anxiety.
3. You are always jealous
There will always be someone prettier, richer, smarter, uglier, stupider, or whatever, than you. You should be happy that everyone is not the same because if everyone was the same, life would be really boring.
If you find yourself always nagging, or saying bad things about people, then you are a very jealous person, who is also very sad and miserable to be around.
If you find yourself easily jealous of the achievements of others, it’s important to ask yourself why, and realize that you only have yourself to blame for your unhappiness. You have turned yourself into your own jealousy monster.
4. You tend to find and create drama, drama, drama
There is always drama around unhappy people, they never take responsibility for their actions, because life is nasty and always out to get them. If you’re always talking about people, it should be no surprise that they’ll talk to people about you too.
If you are talking negatively about your friend to other friends then you are not someone who would be considered a good friend. Getting addicted to drama and involving others in it will lead to a negative life.
It’s a simple rule: Treat others the way you want to be treated. If you are treating your friends badly, you will be treated badly in return.
5. You never want to do or try anything
If you never want to go anywhere or try new things, you will literally never get anywhere in life. Happy people are those who wake up in the morning with goals, plans, determination and who fall 7 times and stand up 8. When you are a happy person, you appreciate a sunny day and everything that comes with it. Are.
Playing the victim is not a good thing, even if it encourages you to gain an edge over someone. So if you want to stop this vicious cycle, make goals and go after them.
Create a routine and live a happy life. When you’re playing the victim, you sleep all day when the sun comes up, and complain about foot problems, or the pain in your back, and keep talking about how you used to work out. But you “couldn’t”.
6. You are ungrateful
Ah yes, thank you. It is such an important emotion that counters all the negative and difficult emotions that exist. Victim-players are those who are never satisfied, and are always finding fault in things.
For example, if it’s your birthday and your boyfriend buys you a sweater, the normal and polite thing to say would be “Thanks, I love it!” But instead the victimized player says something along the lines of “I didn’t want pink.”
7. You are lost in what once was
If you’re the kind of person who’s always talking about how awesome you were in high school, or how really skinny you used to be, or anything related to your past and who you “once were.” If you talk about yourself, you will never be able to move forward and find true happiness. You have to stop living in the past.
Playing the victim means you’re stuck on past events, which is never a good thing. You are not truly living your life as you were in the past instead of the present. Thinking about the past keeps you stuck until you can move forward.
You must realize that life changes, and just because you can’t be where you want to be, doesn’t mean you can’t and won’t be. Only you have control over yourself and the life you want to live.
8. You don’t know how to take accountability
The result of playing the victim role in your life will be that you will not know how to take accountability. Playing the victim will not bring anything positive or good into your life.
This is a common strategy of manipulation because it works, especially for people who don’t know what it means to play the victim.
If you keep doing this even when you make a mistake and think you can get away with it every time, there will come a day when your loved one will realize exactly what you are doing. That’s when it’s game over for you.
9. You engage in negative self-talk
Playing the victim also means that you engage in negative self-talk, and you don’t say anything nice to yourself. Especially when there is a conflict and your loved ones are disappointed in you, you will continue to use negative self-talk to your advantage – to make people feel sorry for you.
10. You manipulate others
If there’s one thing a victim is known for, it’s manipulation tactics. This means that it allows you to manipulate the people you love until no one is left by your side because you play the victim.
There is no room for manipulation when you love someone because it means you want control and the edge all the time.
11. You unintentionally push people away
Playing the victim feels so damaging to the recipient that you will push everyone in your life away, whether you like it or not. This is why you shouldn’t try to play the victim in the first place. So if you want people to stay in your life and not leave you because they can’t handle you, stop playing the victim.
Remember that whether you are aware of playing the victim or not, it is still a manipulation tactic to control things in your favor.
12. You lack confidence and self-esteem
We mentioned earlier that when you play the victim, you are fostering low self-esteem and confidence. This should be your primary motivation for turning it off completely. When you keep playing the victim, it all shows how poorly you really see yourself.
13. You have a temper
Playing a victim is another thing you’re known for, and that’s showing your manipulative side. Be it anger, frustration, anger or resentment, you have to show your anger. When things don’t go your way and you don’t get what you want, you use your anger against others.
You have no self-control and discipline to control your emotions, so your anger comes out when you are frustrated. Playing the victim will make you feel like your nature controls you, not the other way around.
14. You struggle with relationships
When you always play the victim, relationships can become a battlefield. Friends, family, and partners may feel like they are constantly walking on eggshells, unsure of what will affect your sense of victimhood.
Over time, this can cause relationships to strain or break down, as people may find it tiring to constantly validate your complaints or skirt around your sensitivities. In one scenario, you may find yourself repeatedly arguing with friends who feel that you are unfairly blaming them for your problems.
15. You miss out on personal growth
Playing the victim often means you are stuck in a cycle of blame and excuses, which stifles personal growth. When challenges arise, it may be easy for you to play the victim and not face your weaknesses, instead of learning from them and moving forward.
16. Your professional life is miserable
In the workplace, playing the victim can be especially harmful. If you always blame coworkers or circumstances for missing deadlines or poor performance, you’re unlikely to be trusted with moving forward or taking on more responsibility.
Your superiors and colleagues may consider you unreliable or difficult to work with, which may hinder your career progress and workplace relationships.
17. You develop a pessimistic outlook
Constantly playing the victim role can color your complexion…
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