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A Girl’s Guide to 25 Secret Bathroom Tricks!

Are you concerned about the state of the bathroom after your guy has a sleepover at your house? Here are ways to avoid pooping at your boyfriend’s house.

messing up your boyfriend's house

It’s really surprising, some of the things girls search on Google: how to do a fishtail braid, which hole do I pee through, how to find my G-spot, and oh yes… how to poop at your boyfriend’s house Be discreet?

This is an embarrassingly real discovery that many girls have made out of frustration on their phones while stuck in their boyfriend’s bathroom. Bad news? Your time is running out and the longer you stay there, the more suspicious he becomes. Good news? There are some really sneaky ways to get poop out of your boyfriend’s house!

Did you know that there is actually a condition called parcoparesis which is characterized by a social anxiety while defecating? Probably if you have parcopresis, you need a certain amount of privacy to be comfortable enough to function. Still, just because you can’t or won’t poop on your partner doesn’t mean you’re suffering from a condition!

Relationship dilemmas…and pooping at your boyfriend’s house

Relationships, they say, are hard work. And by this we mean that it’s not just about planning dates, remembering anniversaries, or organizing schedules.

It’s also about dealing with those awkward overtures and learning to be comfortable with each other in the most intimate ways.

But here’s a curveball you never saw coming – the unexpectedly tricky dilemma of pooping at your boyfriend’s house. Yes, that’s a thing!

The seemingly minor issue of pooping at your boyfriend’s house may actually be a litmus test of how comfortable and open you feel in this budding romance.

Let’s face it, the need to poop at your boyfriend’s house is a very human thing, but it can feel pretty weird. This is one of those untold challenges that almost everyone faces in a new relationship but hardly anyone talks about it.

The whole process can feel like a secret mission, trying to ensure that this natural process remains as invisible and odorless as possible.

Dealing with this situation is all about striking a balance between comfort and embarrassment. It’s a dance of trying to maintain some level of mystery while also acknowledging that, hey, you’re human too.

Pooping for the first time at your boyfriend’s house can be oddly symbolic — it’s about crossing a line of intimacy that isn’t always talked about.

That it’s awkward, albeit a little uncomfortable, is a testament to how natural and comfortable you’ve come to feel with each other.

Why is it so hard to do #2 with your guy?

Although maintaining a feminine persona and keeping secrets has been found to have a positive effect on long-term relationships, don’t let your gut suffer for your efforts!

Do you remember grandma told you not to hold it? Well, she was right. Keeping your stomach full for too long can have major negative effects on your body.

Another reason women don’t like doing this job? It’s inconvenient! You’re not in the privacy of your bathroom with your Cosmo and your air freshener.

Plus, you feel like you’re being timed, and the longer you take to get it done, the longer he’ll keep waiting and wondering what you’re doing. Also, what if he needs to use the bathroom next?

What to do to get rid of it?

This is never an easy situation, especially if you are still at the stage in your relationship when your guy thinks you are the epitome of femininity. But here’s a foolproof guide to make sure things run smoothly.

1. Timing is everything

Try to wait until he’s already used the bathroom, that way you won’t risk him going to the bathroom after you.

2. Be mentally prepared

If you keep thinking that he’s timing your efforts, or that he’s going to knock on the door at any moment, all you’re doing is keeping yourself from achieving, and you’re wasting precious time. Are wasting. Do whatever you can to mentally prepare yourself for the task.

3. Hide noise

Are you afraid that your guy will hear what’s going on there? If you don’t have bathroom facilities that are too far from your main “hang-out” room, you better be prepared for the noise.

4. Make a “Basket”

Another way to find comfort in the bathroom is to create a carefully crafted basket or “raft” in which to lay your “leaves.” It sounds gross, because it kind of is. But it works, and that’s what’s important.

Carefully place the toilet paper in the bowl until it floats in the water. It will catch your poop and hide the noise without having to flush it a million times. Just be careful not to clog the toilet!

5. Take a “shower”

Tell your guy that you’re going to steal his bathroom for just a minute to “wash up.” Then, run the shower or bath faucet while you go about your business.

6. Consider the risks and benefits of hiding the smell

So you’ve done it, you’ve blushed, and you feel like a brand new woman. But now you’re not sure whether you should try to hide the smell or not.

How do you do it? You can open a window, light a match, spray some air freshener, or turn on your Scentsy… but all of the above will risk letting her know you’re trying to hide something , so take your step wisely.

7. Carry a portable air freshener

This is especially useful if you’re conscious about leaving any marks or odors after using the bathroom in your lover’s house.

8. Create distraction

Distractions can also be an effective way to divert attention from your bathroom visits. Consider timing your bathroom break with an activity that involves some noise, such as while your boyfriend is busy watching a TV show or doing some household chores.

The sound from these activities can provide a natural cover. This strategy allows you to maintain your privacy while doing number two in your lover’s place.

9. Adopt regular bathroom habits

Maintaining regular bathroom habits can help reduce your boyfriend’s anxiety about pooping in the house. If you’re a regular, you’ll be less likely to be surprised when you spend time at his place.

Eating a healthy diet and staying hydrated can keep your digestive system healthy, and staying in tune with your body’s natural schedule can make going to the bathroom more predictable and less stressful.

10. Have an honest conversation

Girl, he’s your boyfriend after all! If you’re in a relationship where trust and comfort are the foundation, having frank conversations about bathroom needs shouldn’t be fruitless.

It’s all about accepting that hey, everyone poops, and that’s okay. Embracing this reality can create more understanding and a cooler atmosphere for the times when nature comes to your lover’s home.

11. Use going to the bathroom as a break

If you’re spending a long time at your boyfriend’s house, use going to the bathroom as a natural break. This is a great opportunity to take a moment to yourself, take a deep breath and relax.

This means that it turns the act of going to the bathroom from potentially embarrassing to a simple pause in your day, making it feel more natural and less of a big deal.

12. Bring your own toilet paper

Having your favorite type or a brand you’re used to, especially if you’re sensitive to different textures, provides a sense of familiarity and comfort.

Keeping your own supplies in your bag means you’re always prepared, adding a layer of comfort and reassurance when faced with the difficult task of using the bathroom at your lover’s house.

Other ways to deal with the bathroom blues

There are times when you get so lost in the calls of nature that it starts paying attention to what your guy might think about you. Here’s how you can handle it.

13. Just laugh

If you suffer from bowel problems, IBS, or are simply tired of playing the number 2 game with your man, you just have to be honest with him.

You can easily use humor to overcome this. Remember, it’s all about tone. If you act like you’re totally cool with it, he’ll probably be cool with it, or at least get used to the fact that sometimes… you’re going to poop.

14. Use another bathroom

This will make the whole situation a lot easier, so hopefully your guy will have a second bathroom. It’s a good idea to make that bathroom your own, even if it’s out of the way on the main floor or in the bedroom. After a while, he’ll get the hint as to why you’re going there.

15. Don’t ask, don’t tell

If your man doesn’t bring it, great! If he brings up the issue of your bathroom breaks? Raise your eyebrows in your best, aloof and sexy way and say: “We don’t talk about it.”

16. Just be open about it, but warn him to hold back

If you are on vacation, and you are troubled by the bathroom situation, you need to talk openly with your partner.

Whether at home or on a trip, you need to let him know that you are now going to have your “alone” time, and he better not be counting down the minutes, listening to voices, or following you there.

It’s totally okay to talk about bathroom habits

We know it’s easier said than done, but talking about bathroom habits, like doing number two at your boyfriend’s place, is an important aspect of any relationship. Here are reasons why it’s okay and completely normal to have these conversations:

1. Breaking the stigma about natural bodily functions

Discussing bathroom habits helps break down the unnecessary stigma surrounding natural bodily functions. Remember, everyone poops, and accepting this can create a more open and accepting environment in your relationship.

By normalizing these conversations, you contribute to a broader cultural shift where such topics are no longer seen as taboo or shameful.

2. Resolving small issues can strengthen relationships

Solving small issues together lays the foundation for tackling bigger challenges. It shows that you are comfortable sharing and dealing with all aspects of life, no matter how insignificant they may be.

3. Encouraging openness and honesty in every aspect of the relationship

When you’re open about bathroom habits, it sets a precedent for honesty in other areas of your relationship. This openness can lead to deeper trust and understanding between you and your partner.

4. Promotes comfort and spontaneity in relationships

Being able to talk about pooping at your lover’s house promotes a sense of comfort and ease. When both partners feel they can be themselves without fear of judgment or embarrassment, the relationship becomes a safe and comfortable place.

5. Shows maturity and realistic expectations

Discussing bathroom habits is also a sign of maturity and sets realistic expectations in the relationship. It acknowledges that both partners are human and that their bodily functions are normal. This helps in building a grounded and realistic relationship.

6. Helps measure compatibility

Your attitude towards conversations about seemingly awkward topics like poop can actually be a good gauge of your compatibility. If you and your partner can laugh, be open, and feel comfortable discussing pooping at your boyfriend’s house, it shows your level of comfort and understanding with each other.

It’s about finding balance and understanding in the most unlikely of topics, setting the stage for how you can overcome future challenges together. Who would have thought?

7. Prevents awkwardness…

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