21 Secrets To Get Closer To Your Crush And Get Them Interested In You!

Having a crush is both scary and exciting. the possibilities are endless! Not sure how to get closer to your crush? read on!

Do you remember that time when you were scrolling through Instagram and there they were, your crush looking insanely cute in their latest selfie? Your thumb stubbed out, your heart did a miniature samba dance, and your brain went into a brainstorming session: how to get close to your crush without making it painfully obvious.

Ah, crushes, nature’s way of reminding us that human emotions are more complex than the story of Inception.

This feature is your no-nonsense playbook, a guide packed with actionable tips based on psychological research to help you answer the ‘Who, me?’ In no time ‘Oh, we’re just hanging out’!

Why do crushes happen?

Before we get into the interesting things about how to get closer to your crush, let’s talk about why crushes happen in the first place.

After all, knowledge is power, right? Knowing the ‘why’ can help you with the ‘how’, or at least it can be useful for good conversation during awkward silences.

1. Dopamine and Serotonin

So, do you know that feeling when you see a message from your crush and suddenly the world seems like a better place? Yes, thank your brain for that, especially dopamine and serotonin.

These are feel-good chemicals that flood your brain and make everything feel brighter and happier. It’s like a ‘swipe right’ moment, but in your mind.

2. Halo effect

Have you ever noticed how amazing everything your crush does feels? Even if they’re just tying their shoelaces, it’s like, ‘Wow, what skill, what decency!’

What you are experiencing is the halo effect. It’s not some supernatural power, it’s just rose-colored glasses on your mind.

In simple terms, when you’re attracted to someone, you’re more likely to view them in a favorable light, often ignoring their flaws.

It’s a psychological bias that makes you think they’re as close to perfect as that slice of pizza after a long day.

Obstacles: What Keeps You Away from Your Crush

Okay, you’re armed with the ‘why’, so let’s move on to the ‘why not?’ Explore. What’s stopping you from getting that high score in the game of how to get closer to your crush?

Is it just bad timing or is there something deeper? Let’s face the obstacles, so that they stop playing ‘stay away’ with your love life.

1. Social circle

Let’s say you’re the artistic type, always at gallery openings, and your crush is a fitness fanatic, always at the gym. Different worlds, right?

Social circles can sometimes act like an invisible fence between you and your crush. Psychologically speaking, it is based on social identity theory, which is about how we categorize ourselves and others into groups.

Recognizing this can help you strategize ways to blend into their world or, at the very least, get you an invitation to that gym class you’ve been anxiously eyeing.

2. Fear of rejection

The biggest showstopper in any love story is the fear of rejection. You’d think we’d be used to it, considering how often we get rejected by Wi-Fi networks, but alas, here we are.

This fear often originates from the amygdala, which is the part of your brain responsible for emotions and fears. Understanding the role of the amygdala can help you better deal with these fears.

Best Ways to Get Closer to Your Crush Effortlessly

Now that we’ve covered the whys and why-nots, let’s cut to the chase. You are here to learn how to get closer to your crush without a PhD. In Loveology.

well guess what? Psychology’s got your back, and we’re about to drop some science-backed gems you can actually use.

1. Do small favors

Have you ever noticed how you are more likely to say yes to someone who has done something for you? This is the reciprocity principle at work, also known as the Benjamin Franklin effect.

2. Mimic body language

For this you do not need to be a mime artist. Just pay attention to their body language and subtly mirror it.

When you subtly mimic someone’s body language, you are actually sending subconscious signals that create a feeling of familiarity and trust.

It’s deeply rooted in our social psychology, essentially acting as a non-verbal handshake, saying, “Hey, we’re on the same wavelength here!”

3. Make them feel good through compliments

Everyone likes praise. Don’t you feel good when you find someone? Psychology calls this the reinforcement principle, which is a fancy way of saying ‘people like things that make them feel good.’

So, keep those conversations light and positive and see how they feel attracted to you.

4. Group Hangouts and Activities

Shared experiences like group trips aren’t just fun, they’re a biochemically proven way to grow closer to someone.

The psychology behind it is simple: doing activities together increases shared emotional states.

And when you share a physical or emotional challenge — like climbing a mountain — you’re giving your brain a solid reason to pump oxytocin. You know, the neurochemical Cupid shooting arrows into your brain!

And here’s the great thing: When you’re in a group, social pressure dissipates. Both of you can interact more comfortably, building a real connection without the high risk of a one-on-one setting.

So you get a double benefit – a surge in relationship hormones and a cool social context to shine your true self.

5. Open slowly

Open up slowly, and you’ll find yourself taking a shortcut to the connection-town-populace: the two of you! This is social entry theory at its best.

You see, we all have layers like an emotional onion. You don’t want to expose your core all at once; You peel off layer after layer.

Today, it’s that Netflix series you’re binge-watching, and then maybe tomorrow, you’re diving into your secret aspirations of becoming world champion in thumb wrestling.

And oh boy, let us pour some more psychological tea for you: Sharing something and saying, “I don’t usually tell people this,” increases the exclusivity of the relationship.

You’re basically giving your crush VIP access to Club U. This not only makes them feel special but also produces what psychologists call “reciprocity of liking.”

6. Eye contact

Eyes are the windows to the soul and the billboard for your emotions, am I right? A well-placed glance is worth a thousand emojis, and that’s not just some poetic nonsense – it’s psychology, baby!

Eye contact creates an intimate connection that text or DM can’t match.

But hold your horses, we’re not talking about soul-piercing stares that would make even an idol uncomfortable.

It’s all about the “Triangle Technique”. Yes, friends, it’s Eye Contact 2.0!

The triangle technique involves looking from one eye to the other and then down to the mouth, creating an imaginary triangle.

7. The power of humor

Who doesn’t love a good laugh? Psychologically, humor breaks down barriers and promotes a sense of spontaneity.

8. Foot-in-the-door technique

Consider it a gateway to bigger things. Ask for something small first—a pencil, a quick opinion on a song—then move on to larger requests.

Psychologists call this the ‘foot-in-the-door technique’, and it’s essentially a low-key way to build compliance.

Yes, you are inviting them to say ‘yes’ more often, which is one way to get closer to your crush.

9. Limit Options

Have you ever been confused by a menu with too many options? The same applies to conversation as well. When suggesting a hangout, give two options, not ten.

This taps into the paradox of choice, where fewer options make decisions easier. “Less is more, especially how to get close to your crush.”

10. Keep your friends and your crush close

Out of sight can also mean out of mind, so aim to keep things local. Attend events you know they’ll be there for, or choose hangout spots that are convenient for both of you.

It uses proximity theory from psychology; The closer you are in physical location, the more likely it is that the relationship will deepen.

11. Zeigarnik effect

Here’s how it goes: You leave off an interesting point or start an interesting story but leave it hanging. You might say something like, “You’ll never guess what happened at work today, but oh well, let’s save that for next time!”

The Zeigarnik Effect kicks in, ensuring that the unfinished story remains on their mental to-do list. Your crush will be like a Netflix series watcher desperate for the next season. You become the mental sticky note they can’t ignore!

This technique plays with human curiosity and ensures that you are on their mind even after the conversation has ended.

Plus, it sets the stage for future conversations where you can eventually give them the goods. Consider adding a psychological “To Be Continued…” to your playbook on how to get closer to your crush.

12. Let your guard down *safely*

We can’t talk about getting close without mentioning vulnerability. In psychology, this is linked to the concept of emotional intelligence, and involves sharing aspects of yourself that are not surface level.

But remember, safety comes first—only do this if you feel it’s the right time and setting, and your crush is trustworthy.

13. Just do it!

Here’s the final kicker: Sometimes, you just have to hit your shot. All the psychological tips and hacks are your training wheels, but at some point, you have to ride alone.

Whether it’s asking them out for coffee or finally sending that message you’ve been nagging about, take advantage of the moment. So go ahead, take a deep breath and make your move.

When things don’t go according to plan

We’ve given you the psychological scoop on how to get close to your crush, but let’s keep it real: Not every crush turns out to be a Nicholas Sparks novel. Here’s how to deal with the emotional ups and downs when things don’t go according to plan, without watching sad movies and eating ice cream — unless you really want to.

1. It’s okay to feel conflict

Let’s say you’ve done everything ‘right’, but it still doesn’t work. It’s a cocktail of ick, and you may find yourself both relieved and disappointed.

Don’t disturb it; It’s completely natural to feel this way when things don’t go as you expected when you get closer to your crush.

2. Emotionally Detachment

If you find yourself stuck in ‘what could have been’, it may be time to detach emotionally. This is a great way to say, ‘Go ahead, buddy.’ Easier said than done, right?

3. Embrace reality

Sometimes, the best way to deal with disappointment is to accept it completely. This is a principle borrowed from Dialectical Behavior Therapy, but don’t let that scare you.

The idea is to stop fighting reality so you can focus on actions that improve your emotional state.

4. Remember your time is valuable

Think of it as a reality check for Economics 101. If you’re investing too much time in a crush that’s going nowhere, you’re missing out on other opportunities.

Remember, you are amazing too!

Well, you’re armed with enough psychological hacks to make even Freud swipe right. Now, it’s your turn to take the wheel.

your homework? Just take one small, manageable step today toward getting closer to that heartbeat. Text them. Smile when your eyes meet. Ask them how their day is going. Seriously, just do something.

And hey…