59 reasons, signs and ways to cure anger

Some people handle stress better than others. If you’re dating someone with anger problems, here’s how you can deal with it.

All relationships have good days and bad days, but just because you two can’t agree on something, or life isn’t going the way you want it to, doesn’t mean it has to turn into a big fight. Need to change. However, when you’re dating someone with anger problems, these disagreements can often be more intense and challenging.

Just as no one enjoys being around a crying baby on an airplane, living with a partner who is prone to screaming can be equally frustrating.

It’s okay to disagree with each other, and it’s okay to fight sometimes. But it is not right to be worried all the time. Life is too short and wonderful to spend it being angry or upset over really stupid things.

Understanding Anger Issues

To really get a handle on what’s going on with your angry partner, it’s like peeling an onion – there are many layers to understand.

When we talk about dating someone with anger problems, we’re not just discussing occasional bad moods or irritability. It’s about a pattern, a kind of persistent emotional disturbance that is hard to ignore.

So, what exactly are anger issues? Think of these as extreme reactions to situations where most people might be mildly offended. Imagine someone becoming extremely angry over a small mistake – like spilled coffee turning into a full-blown argument.

Now, let’s not mix normal anger and problematic anger. Everyone gets angry, right? This is a normal, healthy emotion when expressed appropriately. Let’s say, you’re cut off in traffic, and you feel a wave of anger – completely normal.

But if you’re dating someone with anger problems, their reaction may be more intense, like a volcano erupting over something that should have been just a blip on the radar.

Psychologists view anger as a complex emotion. This may arise from feeling threatened, disrespected, or frustrated. But when it becomes excessive and difficult to control, it becomes an issue. It’s like a warning light on the dashboard of your car, signaling that something deeper is going on emotionally or psychologically.

A big part of understanding anger in relationships is busting some myths. First of all, anger isn’t just a ‘male’ thing. Regardless of gender, anyone can struggle with anger problems.

Root causes of anger issues

So, you’re wondering why your partner is in a constant state of irritation or anger? Let’s look at some of the factors that can trigger those firecracker reactions.

Remember, it’s important to understand the root of the problem, especially when you’re dating someone with anger problems.

1. Over stressed

When a person is always stressed, even small things can bother him. Think of stress like a pressure cooker – it builds up, and if there’s no release valve, it can explode in anger.

2. Unresolved trauma from the past

Trauma can be a secret. It remains hidden in the corners of our minds and can come out in the form of anger. If your partner has unresolved issues from his or her past, such as childhood experiences or past relationships, this may manifest as anger now. It is like old wounds that have not healed and continue to sting.

3. It’s in their DNA

Not really. Sometimes, it’s literally in their genes. Some people are of more aggressive nature.

Just like being born with a certain hair color, they were born with a tendency to react more intensely. This biological aspect may make them more vulnerable to anger issues.

4. Lack of coping skills

Imagine someone who only knows one dance move. This is something like this for people who have not learned to handle their emotions.

When they become overwhelmed, they turn to anger because it is the only way they know how to express themselves. They may not know about healthy ways to deal with what they’re feeling, so anger becomes their response.

5. Mental health issues

Mental health conditions can be secretive, often hidden behind various masks. For example, depression, anxiety, or bipolar disorder is not just about feeling sad or anxious.

6. Brain chemistry imbalance

It’s not just about personality or past experiences. Sometimes, it’s about what’s going on in their brain. Chemical imbalances, such as serotonin deficiency, can make someone prone to mood swings and anger.

7. Learned behavior

Similar to learning a language, if you grow up listening to it, you start speaking it. They may not even realize that they have adopted this pattern.

So imagine how they grew up. If they see anger as a reaction in their family, they may have accepted it too.

8. Substance abuse

Now, think of anger as fire. When your partner is involved with alcohol or other substances, it is like pouring gasoline on that fire.

9. Feeling misunderstood or neglected

Everyone wants to feel heard and valued, right? When your partner doesn’t understand this, it can be like talking to a wall – completely frustrating.

If they are often misunderstood or feel like their needs are being ignored, this can turn into resentment and, you guessed it, anger. This is the frustration arising from the feeling that they are not able to move forward.

10. Control Issues

Some people use anger as a tool, especially when they feel they are losing grip on a situation. If things are not going their way, or they feel out of control, they may resort to anger.

Signs You’re Dating Someone With Anger Problems

Wondering if you’re dating someone with anger problems or are they just having a bad day every now and then? Recognizing the signs can be like trying to read a complex weather pattern, but it’s important to understand what you’re dealing with. Let us tell you about some key indicators that your partner is struggling with anger problems.

1. Verbal and physical signals

It’s about what they say and how they say it. If your partner often raises their voice, uses harsh words, or even throws things when upset, this is a danger sign.

2. Patterns in behavior

See how often and intensely they get angry. If it feels like their anger is a frequent uninvited guest in your relationship, that’s a sign.

No, we’re not just talking about one-off incidents, it’s about an ongoing pattern where their reactions are disproportionate to the situation.

3. Impact on relationships and personal well-being

Notice how their anger affects you and the relationship. If you find yourself constantly worried or walking on eggshells trying to avoid provoking their anger, that’s a problem. Your relationship should be a source of support, not stress.

4. Difference between anger and abuse

It is important to distinguish between anger and abuse. While anger can be a natural emotion, abuse is a deliberate act to control or hurt someone emotionally or physically. If their anger leads them to control, intimidate, or hurt you, it turns into abuse.

5. Overreaction to small things

6. Blaming others for your anger

7. Difficulty calming down

Once they become angry, if it takes them a long time to calm down, it is a cause for concern. It’s not just a matter of how quickly they burn, but also how long it takes for the fire to go out. If getting sober is a long, drawn out process, it’s a sign of deeper issues.

8. Lack of remorse or apology

After an angry incident, do they refuse to apologize or show remorse? If they don’t recognize the impact of their anger or seem indifferent to the hurt it causes, it’s a red flag. It seems as if they are saying that their outrage was justified, whatever the outcome.

9. Isolating you from friends and family

Sometimes, anger issues can cause you to have controlling behavior, such as trying to isolate you from your loved ones. If your partner becomes angry when you spend time with others or discourages you from socializing, this is a serious concern.

10. Impact on other areas of life

How to handle your partner’s anger

If you’re dating someone who has a very short relationship, it can be overwhelming. But the good news is that there are many ways to deal with it. The following are 10 ways you can handle them the next time they decide to unleash all their anger, letting their anger-freak-flag fly.

1. If your partner comes home upset, become active somehow

If your partner comes home from work angry or upset about something that is not directly related to you, then you should become active. Both of you can go out for a walk or go to the gym as soon as possible.

2. If they start yelling, walk away

If your partner is so angry and upset that he starts yelling at you about something that has nothing to do with you, just walk out the door and go somewhere for 10-20 minutes.

By leaving, it shows them that you will not tolerate their anger nor waste your precious time listening to them scream at you, instead of talking to each other like adults.

3. Partner crazy? punch a bag

If your partner gets really angry, and has used the phone so many times that he or she throws things, it’s probably a good idea to buy a punching bag for these moments.

Punching bags are actually pretty tough, and not only will they get a workout, but they’ll also relieve a lot of stress. And honestly, sometimes it feels good to hit something, as long as you don’t hurt anyone or anything.

4. Listen lovingly

If your partner is really angry and upset, and you don’t know if they’re on the verge of crying or screaming, try sitting with them and just listen.

In such a situation, you need to remain calm, and talk in a soothing tone in your voice. Let them know that you are ready to listen to whatever is bothering them.

No matter how tempted you may be to answer, don’t! Let them do all the talking and watch the wave break. Eventually they will calm down, and the tension will leave their body. When this happens, both of you can become a well-behaved couple again.

5. Establish clear boundaries

6. Encourage time-outs

When anger flares up, suggest taking some time out. It’s like pressing the pause button on a heated conversation.

Each of you may take some time to calm down and collect your thoughts, which will make it easier to discuss things rationally later.

7. Practice active listening

Sometimes, your partner needs a good listener. By showing that you are attentive and really care about their feelings, you help them understand. It’s about listening, to understand, not to react, which can sometimes fuel anger.

8. Avoid increasing stress

When your partner is angry, it’s incredibly easy to get swept up in the heat of the moment, especially if they’re yelling directly in your face. It feels almost natural to respond with your anger or defensiveness. But the thing is: reacting in kind just throws more wood on the fire, making the situation even worse.

By not reacting with the same anger, you prevent the situation from escalating. It’s about taking a deep breath, mentally stepping back, and reminding yourself that matching their anger won’t solve anything.

9. Identify triggers together

When both of you are calm and the waters of emotions are calm, this is the right time for a heart-to-heart. Discussing what specifically triggers your partner’s anger is an important step in understanding and managing it. This helps you know where the potential pitfalls are, so you both…