Do you have a hickey that seems too visible for comfort? Don’t tease it! Check out our list of the most reliable hickey excuses and tips for pulling them off like a pro.
So you have a hickey – congratulations or condolences, depending on how you look at it. No matter what your reason for rocking that Love Bite, you’ve clicked on the right convenience. We’re diving into those confusing excuses that are so good, they’re almost better than the real thing.
So if you’re feeling like a deer caught in the headlights — or should we say, like a lover stuck in the spotlight — don’t panic. We have psychology-backed tips and reliable lines for any scenario to guide you on this slightly strange journey.
What is a hickey?
Let’s put on our lab coats for a moment because we’re about to get a little scientific. Don’t worry, we promise it’s even more fun than your high school biology class!
So, a hickey, also known as a love bite, is basically a bruise. When you suck or bite the skin, tiny blood vessels beneath the surface break.
The blood pools, creating the iconic red or purple mark. Trust us, it’s more poetic in the heat of the moment than it sounds on paper.
Now, let’s work some psychology magic. Have you ever heard of partner retention strategies? It sounds like something out of a National Geographic documentary about mating dances, but it’s a real thing.
reliable hickey excuses
Okay, so your hickey is front and center, saying hello to practically everyone who passes by. Maybe it’s peeking out from under your collar, or maybe it’s so bold it deserves its own Instagram account.
Either way, you need some funny excuses that are as believable as your grandmother saying she loves all her grandchildren equally. Let’s join in!
1. “I had an allergic reaction to an insect bite.”
Particularly reassuring if it is summer or you have recently been in a natural environment. Explain that you went hiking, camping, or just out for a walk, and before you knew it, you were getting this ‘bug bite’.
2. “My skin reacted badly to my new lotion.”
Hey, skin care is a journey, am I right? One day you’re loving your new moisturizer, and the next your skin is protesting like a baby who can’t take his nap.
You can support this excuse by saying that you are trying a new lotion with unfamiliar ingredients. Bonus points if you know exactly what’s in your skin care products.
3. “I was trying vacuum cupping therapy.”
Getting into wellness trends? Let’s say you were trying cupping to relieve muscle tension. Did you know they put suction cups on you and it improves blood flow?
Mention that you left one on too late and voila, the hickey excuse is served up on a welfare platter.
4. “I was practicing self-defense moves and missed the padding.”
You were working on your self-defense techniques, aiming at a padded target. Except you missed and ended up getting a little hurt. Hey, practice makes perfect, right?
5. “I accidentally bumped into a tree branch while hiking.”
Call it a close encounter with nature. You were enjoying the great outdoors when you experienced an awkward moment. It makes a great story and an even better hickey excuse.
6. “The strap of my bag was rubbing against my neck.”
It’s the adult version of “the dog ate my homework”, but it’s oddly effective. If you’re known for carrying a bag that’s bigger than your list of responsibilities, people may buy into it.
To make it even more believable, add that you will have to walk a long distance with said bag – perhaps to or from a public transportation stop.
7. “I was testing Halloween makeup and it smudged.”
It’s especially great in October, but who says you can’t be a Halloween enthusiast all year long?
Let’s say you were testing some special effects makeup and, lo and behold, it got smudged. Lesson learned, right?
8. “I suffered a minor injury in sports.”
Whether you’re a weekend warrior or your idea of a game is to pick up a pint, this excuse has the versatility. Explain that you got a little too competitive in a casual game and ended up with this unsightly scar.
For a nice touch of credibility, moan about how you wish you’d gotten a point instead of getting hurt.
9. “I got hurt in paintball.”
Hey, it’s a dog-eat-dog world on the paintball field. Let’s say you were ducking and weaving like a pro, but then a rogue paintball blew a hole in your neck.
Talk about how much it hurt and how surprised you were by how much it affected you.
10. “I burned myself with my hair straightener/curling iron.”
Beauty is pain, or in this case, a well-timed excuse. If you frequently use hair tools, this could be a get-out-of-jail-free card for you.
Explain that you were in a hurry and slipped with the straightener or curling iron, leaving a mark. A cautionary tale and an excuse!
11. “I tried a DIY neck massager and pressed too hard.”
Explain that you were following a DIY neck massage guide and got a little too excited with the pressure. Hey, we’ve all been there.
12. “I fell awkwardly and hit my neck on a corner.”
The good old clumsy card. You slipped or tripped and had a minor collision with a piece of furniture. Can happen to anyone, right? Especially effective if you are known to be accident-prone.
13. “I tried a new razor and it doesn’t go well.”
14. “I was trying a DIY skin treatment with a suction device.”
Blame it on the never-ending quest for perfect skin. You bought a facial suction device online to get rid of blackheads or increase circulation, and fast, you end up with that mark.
Everyone loves a good online shopping fail story.
15. “I accidentally leaned over a hot surface.”
Blame it on absent-mindedness or multitasking. Maybe you were cooking and leaned against the oven or stovetop and didn’t realize it was still hot. It’s stupid, it’s embarrassing, and it’s a pretty stupid excuse.
16. “I had a bad reaction to fabric softener or laundry detergent.”
This is great because it is easily relatable and possible. Maybe you changed laundry detergent and your skin doesn’t like the new formula.
Tell people you’ll switch back to your old detergent pronto!
17. “I got tangled in my pet’s leash.”
If you have a dog, or any pet that you keep on a leash, this may be a believable story. Fido may have seen a squirrel and run to catch it, leaving the leash wrapped around his neck for a while.
Ah, what we endure for love.
18. “I scratched myself in my sleep.”
Ahh, the excuse to sleep in—so simple, yet so effective. Let’s say you had a vivid dream and woke up to find that you’ve scratched yourself.
This may also get people interested in what you were dreaming about, which will take the conversation away from hickey territory.
19. “It’s a birthmark I’ve always had, you just never noticed it before.”
Play it like it’s always been there and make them question their own observation skills. It’s a little daring, but if executed with confidence, it can really work.
20. “I was playing a game of tag and I got tagged – hard.”
Childhood Games, Adult Consequences. Let’s say you were playing a spirited game of tag with some friends or younger relatives, and someone tagged you a little too enthusiastically. Hey, it’s a contact sport!
21. “I attempted a TikTok challenge and failed miserably.”
Blame it on the ‘For You’ page. You saw a challenge that required some complex activities and you couldn’t complete it.
It’s relatable, and it might even get you some sympathetic likes if you post your “fail” online.
22. “I had an intense acupuncture session.”
Let’s say you’re exploring alternative treatments. You may have leaned too far into the needle or the acupuncturist may be trying a new technique. Either way, you got more than you bargained for.
23. “I had a minor fender bender and my neck hit the steering wheel.”
It is on the more serious side, so use it judiciously. Explain that you were in a minor car accident, and even though you’re okay, you got this scar from the collision. Safety first, everyone!
24. “I was caught in a small hailstorm.”
Seasonal specific but the season always makes for a good cover story. Let’s say you were outside when hail came out of nowhere. Before you could hide, one attacked you right in the neck.
25. “I was doing some gardening and got pricked by a thorn.”
It adds a touch of poetic tragedy, doesn’t it? You were conversing with nature, tending roses or berry bushes, when a sneaky thorn caught your eye. Ouch but poetic!
26. “I was practicing my knot tying skills and got rope burns.”
Channelizing your inner Boy or Girl Scout? You were practicing knots, perhaps for camping or sailing, and slipped. The rope didn’t just leave an impression on you; It left a mark!
27. “My little cousin/niece/nephew drew on me with a permanent marker.”
Blame the uniquely adorable yet chaotic energy of young children. You were spending quality family time when the little artist decided to make you his canvas. Permanent markers—can’t trust them!
28. “I hit my neck on the corner of my laptop/tablet.”
A modern day dilemma indeed. You may be using multiple tools and accidentally hit your neck with a sharp edge. It’s a sign of the times, and a very hickey excuse for the 21st century.
29. “While jogging I slipped and hit my neck on the fence.”
Hey, exercise isn’t always pretty. Let’s say you were trying to keep up your fitness routine, but the universe had other plans. A tumble near a fence, and voila, instant hickey excuse.
30. “I was practicing my stage fighting skills.”
If there are any theater lovers in your circle, this will speak to them. You were practicing your fake slaps and punches, but someone got a little too real. Cue a dramatic gasp.
31. “I was getting a cologne sample and I had an allergic reaction.”
You can get those department store freebies every time. You tried a new fragrance and balm, there was an immediate reaction on the skin. Let this be a lesson to always do patch testing first.
32. “I had an intense VR gaming session.”
Virtual reality can have very real consequences. You lost the game and somehow managed to save yourself. Blame it on those intense graphics!
33. “I was trying to open a stubborn jar and it slipped and fell on me.”
Yes, the pitfalls of everyday life. You were struggling with that impossible-to-open jar of pickles, it slipped, and left a mark on you. And you still haven’t reached those pickles.
34. Just keep it to yourself!
Why walk around when you can stand up and feel proud? Sometimes, the best way to deal with a hickey is to embrace it.
Must-Know Tips About Excuse Your Hickeys
Because let’s face it, a great hickey excuse is only as good as its delivery. So let’s look at some pro tips on how to pull off these hickey excuses like a seasoned actor on the Broadway stage.
1. Practice makes perfect
Before you head out the door, practice your chosen hickey excuse in front of a mirror. Minimize tone, facial expression and timing.
The more natural you sound, the less likely someone will question your story. So practice, practice, practice!
2. Keep it casual
Don’t go overboard with the details. Giving too much information can make it seem like you’re trying to hide something.
Stick to your story, keep it simple and act like it’s no big deal….
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