The question everyone wants to answer is: Can you be friends with your ex and avoid going to bed with them again? It’s hard, but it can be done!
The gap between boyfriends and exes is wide, and with good reason. Can you be friends with your ex? Sure, but it’s not the easiest thing in the world. You have to make sure that you are prepared so that you do not have to face pain again.
Learning how to be friends with your ex takes time and a lot of knowledge. Remember, this person saw you naked, you once loved them, and at some point, they will probably meet another person and fall in love. Can you handle it?
When a relationship ends…
When a relationship ends, complex and confusing emotions start to flood in. It can be hard to explain exactly how you’re feeling. If you’ve been together a long time, it’s almost like mourning the end of an era.
But if the relationship didn’t end in a dramatic and upsetting way *e.g. cheating or something similarly devastating*, the fact is that you spent a lot of time with this person. You share memories. In that case, you would probably want to keep them in your life.
If you want to keep your ex in your life, a concrete change must occur. For example, you should move from the relationship zone to the friends-only zone with a clear intention. If you can do this, it’s entirely possible to maintain a friendship with someone you were once in a relationship with.
However, if you are completely in love with them, chances are that becoming friends will only lead you to a hell of a lot of longing and sadness.
Life is complicated, isn’t it?
Benefits of being friends with an ex
Being friends with someone with whom you have a lot in common can be beneficial for both of you. Once enough time has passed, rekindling a friendship with an ex can be a positive decision.
Not only can this help you work on forgiving and letting go of the past, but having someone in your life who knows you well can give you insight that can be valuable in future relationships. Is.
Being friends with an ex shows your maturity, strength of character, and ability to heal. Whether the relationship was long-term or not, having that person in your life can bring a lot of happiness.
Scenarios when can you be friends with an ex
Let’s take a look at situations when it’s a good idea to remain friends with an ex-partner, and when it can really bring benefits and happiness to your life.
1. You’re alone and the sex was amazing
let’s face it. Sometimes, you may have a terrible emotional connection with your ex. But the sex could be amazing.
2. When there is mutual back scratching
Both of you may have drawn swords when you were in a relationship. But now that it’s over, do you both need each other for emotional support or to succeed in life? Do you work together or are there some difficult circumstances that require the two of you to remain friends?
3. You are like brother and sister
If you were in a relationship where sex was non-existent, you should have no problem staying friends. After all, sexual attraction is the biggest distraction for exes trying to be friends.
Get this out of the way, and you can be friends or even like siblings!
4. It was a pleasant breakup
Well, happy may be an exaggeration here. But was it a mutual breakup because you felt that this relationship was not giving you the happiness that both of you deserved?
5. Sexual tension is reduced
Maybe you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, and after a while, sex has started to feel more like a weekly or monthly chore than pleasure.
If you have recently separated from a relationship where you were more attracted to someone else rather than your partner, it is safe to buy friendship bands for each other.
6. Have a lot of mutual friends
If you have a lot of mutual friends and you really don’t want to alienate your friends or create an awkward reunion when you bump into your ex, it’s probably better to stay friends. Of course, you can still remain friends and keep your distance, right?
7. You bump into each other all the time
Do you work in the same office? Do you live next door to each other or are you both neighbors? If you feel that you have no choice but to see each other all the time, perhaps it would be better to raise a flag of peace and friend each other on Facebook.
You can just wave or say “hi” or even have an occasional conversation.
8. When there is a lot to achieve
Have you recently broken up with your boss or someone who could potentially move you forward or open many big doors in your life? It’s absolutely gross and you’re becoming friends for all the wrong reasons, but hey, that’s life.
Scenarios When You Can’t Be Friends With An Ex
We’ve looked at the positives, but there are some situations in life when staying friends with someone with whom you regularly clash is a very bad idea.
1. Your romance was on/off
If you’re confused about your feelings towards your ex-boyfriend-turned-ex all the time, it’s probably best to avoid being friends with them.
2. You are madly in love with them
You may have been brave and mutually broke up with your ex, but when you look back at the relationship, do you wish you had still been in it? Sometimes, a relationship needs a breakup to understand its true value.
3. You can’t imagine your ex being with someone else
This is not jealousy. In fact, you definitely know that you don’t ever want to date your ex again. But deep inside, you can’t bear to see your ex in someone else’s arms.
It’s a confusing feeling to experience, but don’t worry, you’re not alone. Just stay away and lose all contact with your ex.
4. There is nothing to gain
5. Your ex is annoying
Is your ex-wife an annoying pest who still needs your care after the breakup? Do they call you and ask for help or support all the time?
If your ex still needs you as a personal assistant, there’s really no reason to remain friends and put yourself down.
6. Your ex left you
Although it is acceptable to remain friends after a mutual breakup, it is not acceptable to maintain a friendship with someone who walked away from you and left you with a broken heart. And if your ex cheated on you, don’t even consider it!
7. You are jealous of your ex
8. You are alone and looking for love
Are you single and looking for love? If you miss being in love and are having difficulty finding the right person, avoid being friends with your ex.
Reasons for not being friends with ex
In addition to the scenarios mentioned earlier, consider these other reasons why staying friends with an ex might not be a good idea…
1. They’re your ex for a reason
No matter how healthy or cathartic you think it is to remain friends with your ex, remember that you are no longer together. Reason,
But suddenly those qualities that used to make you mad, or hurt your feelings, don’t seem so bad anymore. do you know why? Because you’re not dealing with them anymore.
2. They’ve seen you naked
Let’s be honest, your ex has seen you naked. Maintaining a friendship with someone who has never seen you in person is generally considered a big no-no. Why? Aren’t we all adults here?
Unfortunately no. Befriending someone who saw you in your birthday suit can only lead to disaster in the future. At some point, you will miss their touch, the kiss, the passion, the dirty makeup sex and that drunken night you had He The thing you swore you would never do.
3. You can be friends with benefits when you don’t want to
4. You can stay in love
Although staying friends may seem ideal, the simple fact is that it is not good for your psyche. This new, incomplete version of your “relationship” can only make you feel disappointed, especially if you weren’t the one who wanted the relationship to end.
5. Your new partner will hate them
Nobody, especially your new boyfriend, wants to know that you are still hanging out with your ex. Whether or not you’re the one who broke it off, your new boyfriend won’t be too happy to know that you’re still playing with someone who used to get you to come over.
Signs You’re Ready to Be Friends with Your Ex After a Breakup
We’re focused on making balanced, careful decisions here. So, while there are certainly many reasons why remaining friends with an ex might not be a good option, you may manage to accomplish it. This definitely happens.
If you can agree on the following signs, you may be able to move this friendship forward.
1. It’s friendship you miss, not sex
2. You don’t think about them romantically anymore
3. The relationship ended on safe and extremely chaotic terms
5. The idea of them dating other people doesn’t make you feel bad
6. You are not playing mind games on social media
7. A lot of time has passed and you both feel at peace
Signs That You’re Not Ready To Be Friends With Your Ex After The Breakup
But if you see these signs, stay away from your ex and don’t try to be friends now or ever.
1. You’re still feeling hurt or angry and you’re still struggling with other unresolved emotions
3. The thought of your ex dating someone else makes you uncomfortable
4. You’re fantasizing about getting back together
5. you are feeling lonely
6. You are searching for information about your ex on social media or from mutual friends
7. You’re waiting for your ex to become the person you wanted him to be when you were together
how to be friends with an ex
Well, we’ve covered both sides and by now you might be leaning towards being friends. If so then good for you. But, there are some steps you need to take to ensure that the friendship lasts and that you don’t go crazy in the process.
1. Reconnect through social media
The first few weeks or months after a breakup can be difficult for both of you. If you feel like you’ve lost a special friend who is important beyond sex, perhaps the best way to reconnect with your ex is to use social networks.
Don’t chat with your ex or post any public messages on their wall. Send a private message and a friend invite *if you guys have drifted apart*, and explain that you’ve ended the relationship, but you still value your ex as a special friend.
2. Introduce your ex to your new boyfriend
If you want to be friends with an ex-boyfriend, you both have to be comfortable with each other and the dating life that comes with it.
On the other hand, your new boyfriend may not be very comfortable knowing that you are reconnecting with your ex and trying to be friends.
3. Embrace the awkwardness
If you want to know how to be friends with an ex, you need to know how to deal with the awkwardness associated with this fragile relationship.
You both have to understand that you can be two perfect people who are extremely imperfect for each other.
Even if the two of you become friends after some time, you may not actually be best friends. There will always be a hint of awkwardness in the air, you just have to learn to deal with it if you want to be friends with an ex.
4. Avoid temptations
Keeping an ex as a friend definitely comes with its share of temptations. You may be in a perfect relationship with someone else, but you may be tempted to jump into your friendship…
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