44 Signs, Pros, Cons, and Relationship Survival Tips

Do you feel like traditional romantic attraction doesn’t happen for you? If so, you may be quirky, but you are not unusual.

Have you ever found yourself in awe of romantic movies or friends talking about their latest crush, and wondered why you can’t relate to those feelings? If yes, then you are not alone. This feeling of disconnection or confusion regarding romantic attraction points us to an interesting word in the vast dictionary of love: queerromantic.

Being queerromantic means existing in a place where traditional labels of romantic attraction don’t quite fit. It’s not about who you’re attracted to, rather it’s about not fully understanding or relating to the concept of romantic attraction.

The psychology of being queerromantic

The term ‘queeroromantic’ comes from the French word ‘quoi’, meaning ‘what’ and it aptly captures the essence of this orientation – a questioning or uncertainty about romantic attraction.

People who are queerromantic may find themselves confused by the concept of romance or unable to distinguish romantic attraction from other forms of platonic or aesthetic attraction.

Now, let’s place queerromantic on the broader romantic spectrum. You’ve probably heard of terms like heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, and asexual. These words describe what a person is attracted to.

Queiromantic, on the other hand, joins other lesser-known trends like aromantic and demiiromantic, which describe how a person experiences romantic attraction – or in the case of queerromantics, how they struggle to define or experience it. Are.

To add a scholarly touch, let’s include some psychology terms. ‘Ematonormativity’ is a term coined by Elizabeth Breck, a philosophy professor, to describe the societal expectation that everyone should desire and seek a romantic relationship.

Queeroromantic individuals often find themselves at odds with this norm. Then there is ‘relationship anarchy’, a concept that challenges traditional relationship rules and hierarchies.

For a romantic person, this may mean forming relationships that don’t necessarily fit into neat categories like ‘just friends’ or ‘more than friends’.

Signs You May Be Queeroromantic

Being queerromantic often involves a unique set of experiences and emotions associated with romance and attraction. Let’s explore some signs that may suggest you identify with this orientation.

Remember, everyone’s experience is unique, so these signs are not one-size-fits-all but a starting point for self-exploration.

1. You feel more confused than excited by romantic gestures

This is not about shyness or lack of interest, but about not understanding why these gestures are considered special or important.

You find yourself analyzing why people value romantic acts, which psychologists suggest may be a sign of a queerromantic orientation.

2. Romantic relationships seem like a foreign concept

It’s not that you dislike romance. You just don’t really understand what it feels like to be romantically attracted to someone. Experts in relationship psychology say this separation is a major sign of being queerromantic.

3. Romantic movies and stories do not arouse emotions

While your friends may swoon or get emotional while watching romantic movies or books, you watch or read them with a kind of detached interest.

4. Deep friendships feel more satisfying than romance

You may find that your most fulfilling relationships are deep, platonic friendships. Many people, especially those who consider themselves queerromantic, feel more connected and understood in non-romantic relationships.

If you’re someone who finds the unique bond and genuine connection in friendship more satisfying, you may be argumentative.

5. You struggle to define your attraction

If you’ve ever asked, “What’s attractive to you,” and found that you’re actually stumped, you’re not alone. Categorizing your feelings as romantic, platonic, or aesthetic can be challenging because the lines between different types of attraction are often blurred and overlapping.

6. Discussions about romance leave you confused

So your friends swoon over their latest romantic happenings, and you’re left heartbroken. It’s not that you’re not interested in their stories, you just don’t connect with the romantic aspect at all. For those who are queerromantic, the feeling of missing a piece of the puzzle is all too familiar.

7. Social expectations for romance are too high

This pressure is not about fear of commitment; It’s about not resonating with the idea of ​​romance itself, a concept that is at the core of understanding queerromanticism.

8. Romantic relationships feel like going through the motions

The thing about being queerromantic is that you don’t know right away that you’re one. If you’re in a relationship and it often feels like you’re just acting out a script, this could be a clue.

It’s not about the partner not being right, it’s about the romantic aspect feeling unnatural. Many queer romantics share this sentiment, only to later realize that their discomfort stems from their unique way of experiencing attraction.

9. You often question your romantic interests

This ongoing self-questioning is not about finding the right person; It’s about trying to understand your own feelings, a journey that’s familiar to those who are queerromantic.

10. Your relationships don’t fit into neat romantic boxes

You form deep connections that don’t fit into traditional romantic categories. These relationships are meaningful, but do not conform to societal definitions of romance, which is a common experience for people with romantic inclinations.

11. “Is it a crush or just a close friendship?”

You often find yourself questioning whether your feelings for someone are romantic or just a deep friendship. Understanding feelings isn’t the issue, it’s about the blurred line between romantic and ideal affection.

For many people who are queer, it can be incredibly challenging to differentiate between these types of feelings. The overlap and ambiguity in their attractions create a state of constant uncertainty, making it difficult to clearly categorize their feelings.

12. You prefer the idea of ​​’queerplatonic’ relationships

The concept of a ‘queerplatonic’ relationship, one that is intense and intimate but not romantic, appeals to you more than traditional romantic partnerships.

13. Romantic compliments make you uncomfortable

So, someone has given you a compliment. Maybe it’s something like, “You’re so beautiful” or “I love you,” and instead of feeling embarrassed or flattered, it sounds awkward or confusing.

The romantic intention behind the words doesn’t match up with yours, which many queerromantics can relate to.

14. Dating apps feel like a puzzle

The world of dating apps feels like a strange, confusing universe. Maybe you’ve tried looking, but everyone seems swipe-leftable, or you’re put off by the cheesy pick-up lines in their bios.

15. You ask yourself, “What is romance?”

The concept of romance often seems abstract and elusive to you. It’s not about being cynical; It’s a real struggle to understand what people mean when they talk about romance, which is a common thought process for romantic individuals.

16. Valentine’s Day doesn’t excite you

While others may be looking forward to Valentine’s Day, to you it seems like just another day.

17. “Why don’t I get butterflies?”

butterflies in my stomach? We don’t know them! You usually get this butterfly feeling when you like someone, but for queer romantics, romantic attraction doesn’t manifest in the same way. This absence of physical response is a common experience among people who identify as queerromantic.

18. You connect more with friendship stories

This preference is not about disliking love stories, but about finding more personal meaning in platonic relationships, a sentiment often expressed by people who are queerromantic.

19. The advance confuses you

When someone expresses romantic interest in you, it often leaves you more shocked than flattered, and no, you’re not playing hard to get. It’s just that you don’t properly understand or connect with the romantic intentions. Again, a specific experience for queer romantics.

20. You enjoy deep emotional connections without labels

You cherish deep, emotional relationships with people but don’t feel the need to label these as romantic. You’re someone who definitely focuses more on enjoying platonic connections rather than worrying about labels and what-ifs.

Benefits of being queerromantic

If you’re queer, your orientation comes with a whole world of unique benefits.

Here’s a look at some of the positive things queer romantic people often experience.

1. Freedom from traditional relationship scripts

As a queer romantic, you are not bound by societal expectations of what a relationship should look like. This freedom allows you to create relationships that are truly gratifying, based on mutual understanding and respect rather than social norms.

2. Deeper understanding of different types of love

3. Strong Platonic Bond

Without the distraction of romantic attractions, you may find that your ideal relationships are stronger and more meaningful. These bonds are built on shared interests, values, and genuine affection, providing a solid foundation for lasting friendships.

4. Enhanced self-understanding

Navigating the world as a queer romantic often requires introspection and self-exploration. This journey can lead to a better understanding of yourself and what you really value in relationships and life.

5. Less pressure in social situations

This can lead to a more comfortable and authentic social life, where you engage in activities that truly suit you.

6. Embrace authentic relationships

As a queer romantic, your relationships are based on true connection rather than societal expectations of romance. This authenticity means that your relationship is deeply rooted in honesty and mutual respect, which creates room for genuine conversation.

7. Decreased relationship anxiety

This can bring a sense of satisfaction and reduce stress in your day-to-day interactions.

8. Opportunities for creative relationship structures

Being queerromantic opens the door to exploring non-traditional relationship structures.

9. Focus more on personal development and passion

With less emphasis on pursuing romantic relationships, you often have more time and energy to invest in personal growth and passion. This can lead to a full and rich life, where personal achievements and hobbies take center stage.

10. Contribute to a more inclusive society

By embracing your queer identity, you are helping to broaden societal understanding of the spectrum of human experience.

Challenges of being queerromantic

While being queerromantic has its unique benefits, it also comes with its own set of challenges.

These aspects can sometimes make relationships and social expectations a little difficult. Here are some of the pitfalls that queerromantic individuals may face, presented in a way that is both informative and sensitive to their experiences.

1. Misunderstanding from others

You may face misunderstandings or confusion from others, including friends and family, who may not understand your experience or…