37 secrets to having more sex as a couple and how often it’s completely normal

Feeling like you’re not having enough sex? How often is actually normal? Forget “should” – let’s learn how to have more sex the way you want.

Do you remember those early days of your relationship when your passion could raise alarm bells? Yes, those days. You’re sitting here right now, coffee in hand, scrolling through articles and wondering, “Where did all that fire go?” It’s a question that resonates in many people’s minds, which leads us to the age-old question: how to have more sex?

don’t care! We’re going to jump into the fray to find out what really triggers heat for you and your partner, moving beyond the mythical ‘magic numbers’.

Actual discussion about frequency

We all want to know how to have more sex, but honestly, life has a funny way of messing with our plans. From work to stress to the latest binge-worthy show, our busy lives can push intimacy back.

But before we look at real-world improvements, let’s talk about why frequency fluctuations might occur in the first place.

1. Life gets in the way

So you have back-to-back meetings, a pile of laundry, and a new Netflix series that just came out.

When you go to bed, you’re more likely to hit the ‘play next episode’ button instead of playing with your partner. The reality is that the everyday hustle and bustle of life can sap your energy and distract you from intimacy.

2. New love vs old love

Do you remember those early days when you couldn’t keep your hands off each other? But now, perhaps you’re more likely to share a tub of ice cream than a steamy moment.

3. Long distance relationships

Navigating a relationship in different time zones presents its own set of challenges when you’re considering how to have more sex.

4. Physical health problems

When it comes to the frequency of sexual activities, your physical well-being is a non-negotiable factor.

A sprained ankle or a sore back can make it difficult to engage in intimate moments, to say nothing of long-term health problems that may require more than a quick fix.

These scenarios may clearly make intimacy a lower priority.

5. Low libido

The quest to figure out how to have more sex often hits a roadblock when it comes to low libido. Sometimes the desire just isn’t there, and that’s okay.

Why Lack of Sex Can Be a Terrible Thing for Your Relationship?

Although there is no one-size-fits-all answer to how often to have sex is normal, a significant dryness may indicate underlying issues in the relationship.

Before hitting that panic button, let’s examine some of the reasons why a lack of intimacy can be harmful.

1. Emotional detachment

If you are not finding time to be intimate, chances are that emotional closeness is also being affected. Physical intimacy often serves as a barometer for emotional well-being in a relationship.

When you’re wondering how to have more sex, it’s not just about the physical act but also about maintaining an emotional connection.

2. Increase in stress

Believe it or not, sexual activities are a natural stress reliever. If both partners are under constant stress and there is no intimate respite, the tension can build up and spill over into the relationship.

3. Decrease in relationship satisfaction

Lack of sexual intimacy can lead to partners being dissatisfied, which can affect the overall happiness of the relationship.

When discussing how to have more sex, you are also indirectly discussing how to make the relationship more satisfying for both parties.

4. Fear of infidelity

Although lack of intimacy does not directly cause infidelity, it can make partners more susceptible to the allure of external gratification.

Discussing how often you have sex is normal in your relationship can also serve as a way to build trust and reduce insecurities.

how to have more sex

Well, we’ve explained why a sexual dry spell might not be the best for your relationship. Now let’s get to the fun part: how to have more sex.

No, we’re not just talking about frequency. We’re focusing on quality, intimacy, and yes, even your Google Calendar can help.

1. Syncing Calendar

OK, planning sex may not seem like the epitome of romance, but when life gets messy, sometimes that’s just what you need to do.

Syncing your calendars helps both partners know when the other is available, reducing missed opportunities and creating a way to, well, decide how often it’s normal for you.

2. Small gestures matter

Whether it’s a hug that lasts a few seconds or an unexpected compliment, these small signs of affection can go a long way in maintaining intimacy.

They can be important steps in learning how to have more sex by increasing anticipation and emotional closeness.

3. Keeping it fresh

Routine can be comforting, but let’s be honest, it can also be mood-killing. A change of scenery or trying something new can revitalize your sexual relationship, while ensuring it doesn’t feel like a chore.

When you’re talking about how to have more sex, variety can make a huge difference.

4. Communication is key

If you’re confused, it’s important to talk openly about your wishes and concerns. It addresses not only how to have more sex, but also the quality of that intimacy.

5. Prioritize intimacy

Sometimes, the desire to be intimate needs a little encouragement. By prioritizing intimacy, you are making a conscious decision to spend quality time together, which often leads to more frequent sexual activity.

6. Mindfulness Practice

Slowing down and being present can heighten your senses and enhance your intimate experiences. It’s not just about ‘how often is normal’, but also about the quality of each intimate encounter.

7. Physical health and fitness

Believe it or not, the better you feel physically, the more likely you are to engage in sexual activity. Simple exercises can increase your stamina and confidence, both important factors for having more sex.

8. Exploring Imaginations and Confusions

9. Flirt like it’s the first day

Do you know how you used to drop cheeky emojis into their DMs, or leave playful notes? Now is the time to bring that energy back.

Sometimes the initial thrill of a relationship gets buried under the busyness of Netflix and chores. A little playful banter can rekindle that spark and get both of you more interested in one-on-one time, increasing your chances of figuring out how often to have sex.

10. Expressive communication

Okay, so we mentioned communication a while ago. Sending “we need to talk” messages can make anyone nervous, but open communication is key. Don’t just drop hints or leave lingerie around, sit down and talk openly about your needs.

11. Use technology

So, work is crazy, and life is chaotic. This doesn’t mean you can’t schedule a risky FaceTime call or send a spicy text.

This keeps the sexual tension alive and makes both of you look forward to when you can be together again. This is especially beneficial for couples who are struggling with how often to have sex when life gets in the way.

12. Plan for spontaneity

In the hustle and bustle of modern life, sometimes you have to come up with a spontaneous plan to figure out how to have more sex.

13. Physical touch outside the bedroom

You are sitting on the sofa watching a movie. Reach out and hold their hand, or maybe stroke their back.

These small acts of intimacy make both of you feel more connected and can often lead to more activity in the bedroom. It’s a natural debate, “How cute are we?” “How often should we have sex?”

14. Set the mood

If your bedroom looks as if it had a laundromat burst, chances are it won’t inspire romance.

Taking time to create an inviting space — clean sheets, maybe some dim lighting — can make both you and your partner more willing to spend time there.

15. Investigation and professional help

Sometimes, decreased sexual activity may be due to medical or psychological factors. In those cases, professional guidance can provide tailored advice.

Subtle signs that you’re not having enough sex

You have tips for having more sex, but how can you tell when you’re really at the low end of your personal intimacy scale?

We’re not just talking about counting calendar days. Here are some signs that may indicate it’s time to take things up a notch.

1. You don’t feel the need to dress up

When your sexual frequency decreases, sometimes your razor gets a break, too. If you notice that your grooming habits have lagged behind, it may be a sign that you’re not engaging in intimacy as much as you’d like.

2. Lack of emotional connection

Do you feel like you and your partner have become more like roommates rather than romantic partners? Lack of sexual activity is often associated with a decline in emotional intimacy.

3. Increased irritability

Sometimes, sexual frustration manifests as general irritability. If you snap at your partner over small things or feel constantly stressed, lack of intimacy may be a contributing factor.

4. Sexual daydreaming

If you find your mind repeatedly wandering to arousing scenarios, it may be your brain’s way of telling you that you need more physical intimacy in your life.

5. Sudden interest in “alone time”

Although self-care is essential, if you find that you enjoy your own company more and the idea of ​​intimacy with your partner isn’t as appealing, it may be time to reevaluate your sexual frequency.

6. Feeling physically uncomfortable

Believe it or not, lack of sex can actually cause physical discomfort for some people. From increased stress to sleep problems, your body may be sending you signals that it’s time to increase your sexual activity.

How much sex is right?

We’ve discussed how to have more sex, but let’s get real: how much is really right? From finding your ideal number to making sure you and your partner are on the same wavelength, let’s untangle this ball of yarn.

1. Your ideal number

Forget that you read in some glossy magazine how often you should have sex. Your ideal frequency is in line with your and your partner’s desires and lifestyle.

To know if you are getting enough water, look for the signs above.

2. Compatibility Check

You can be all about that daily intimacy, while your partner is okay with meeting weekly. The main thing is to find a middle ground.

3. Your body, your rules

Ultimately, your body sets the pace. If you’re constantly tired or intimacy starts to feel like an obligation, these are signs to reevaluate how often you should have sex.

It’s important to listen to both your physical and emotional needs when you’re planning your intimacy schedule.

Sexual frequency myths we need to debunk

Okay, let’s talk myths — those dangerous beliefs that can make us second-guess our intimate lives.

Whether you’re thinking that having more sex automatically means a happier life or feeling frustrated that you’re not having it every day, we’re about to shed light on some widespread misconceptions.

1. The happy myth

Does more sex mean a happier life? It sounds great on paper, but life is not a mathematical equation. Although sexual satisfaction can certainly contribute to happiness, it is not a one-to-one relationship. You can be happy and satisfied in many ways, which don’t always relate to how often you have sex. So if you’re not breaking records, don’t worry!

2. The problematic low-sex myth

On the other hand, this notion…