35 Signs You’re Stressing Out Too Much & Ways to Stop Being Afraid of Missing a Date

They say you have to put yourself out there. But are you presenting yourself to the world in an attractive way or are you being too aggressive in front of other people?

We all know how uncomfortable it is to deal with pushy people. We would never want to treat anyone like this. No one intentionally intends to be annoying or overbearing, yet it’s surprisingly easy to show that side of yourself when you’re dating. You may not realize it, but you may be coming on too “in your face” to be attractive, thus, coming on too strong.

You may have this image in your mind of what it means to be too strong. You’re probably thinking of a scantily clad woman showing off her stuff to her date. She may use suggestive language as she bites her lower lip seductively. Heck, she might even go in for an unexpected crotch grab!

Unfortunately, this poor caricature of an aggressive woman is nowhere near accurate.

In the modern dating landscape where subtlety reigns supreme, it can be easy for you to think you’re being subtle, when in reality, you’re making your date feel like a victim. And that’s why it’s so easy to remain oblivious to the fact that you’re moving too much.

The truth behind being very strong

Understanding the psychology behind coming on too strong in dating is like peeling layers of an onion.

Each layer reveals something new about why some people may put in too much effort or move too quickly in romantic pursuits. Let’s get into the nitty-gritty of what’s going on beneath the surface.

Then there is the fear of rejection. It is a powerful force and can make people act in ways they wouldn’t normally do. Think of it as a defense mechanism. By being strong, they may believe they are in control of the situation. It’s their way of avoiding that terrible fear of “What if they don’t like me?” landscape.

Social and cultural impacts also cannot be ignored. Depending on where you’re from or what media you consume, you may get mixed messages about how to behave in love.

Some cultures or movies glamorize grand romantic gestures and fast-paced events, which can subvert expectations. It’s like saying, “This is how you show you’re really interested in someone,” even if that’s a bit excessive for most real life situations.

Warning Signs You’re Being Too Aggressive With Your Date

Are you afraid to postpone your dates before the check even arrives, unsure of what you’re doing wrong? Here are eight signs that will tell you if you are in too strong a position.

1. E-Flood

Everyone loves the occasional call/text/tweet from a fan. These quick messages not only show him that you’re thinking about him, but they also serve as an effort to stay on the guy’s mind. In moderation, this sentiment is sweet. In large quantities, e-flooding is very scary.

Dating guru David Wygant suggests asking yourself these three questions before reaching out:

– Are you reaching out to make or confirm plans? If the answer is yes, feel free to click send.

– Does he reply to your messages immediately? If it takes a while for him to come back to you, now is the time to come back.

– Has it been a few days since you last talked? If so, he’s got a chance to miss you, and that “what’s up” text will sound sweet, not stalking.

2. Pop-up

A pop-up is a surprise visit to a friend/loved one’s home or work. Pop ups are also for people in serious romantic relationships. It may seem discreet to show up to your partner’s office unannounced with a picnic lunch, but I assure you, he’ll think you’re crazy about guano.

If you want to avoid placing a hold on the order status, wait until the invitation arrives. When a guy misses you, he’ll text you here with “I miss you,” or “When can I see you?” Will tell with. There. Trust me, if he’s interested in you, there won’t even be a need for a pop up from your side. You will probably benefit from his progress.

3. Aggressive Flirting

Who among us doesn’t enjoy the art of flirtation? Of course, flirting is a fun, sexy foundation of dating. There’s nothing wrong with flirting with your date. If as a woman your flirting turns into teasing and heavy sexual arousal, you will be in trouble.

Conversely, you may encounter a gentleman who has no interest in getting to know you as a person. He may interpret your overly cheeky behavior as an invitation to be awkward. In the event that you let things go in the bedroom, you will have given him everything he wanted, and there will be no reason for him to answer your calls again.

4. Staking your claim

“Where is this going?” Conversation can be the first step toward a long, healthy relationship. However, having such discussions after only a few dates can be like the kiss of death.

As much as you enjoy his company, if you’ve only been on a few dates, this loaded question puts your crush under a lot of pressure. You are also doing yourself harm.

Think about it: What if he says, “Let’s live together,” and it turns out to be complete bullshit? Now, you’re sweating in the hell of your creation, because you can’t cool down.

5. Aisle Six Shuffle

Similar to the pop-up, the aisle six shuffle involves repeatedly “bumping” your date to your favorite grocery store/coffee shop/jock strap boutique.

It’s one thing to meet him from time to time at a place you both frequent. But stalking her Insta-flick locations, then showing up in three cities at once because you were “in the area,” is another matter.

If the aisle six shuffle fits your MO, we’d like to tell you something: You’re setting yourself up for a world of pain. How will you feel when you see her sitting with her friends, pointing at you and saying to them, “That’s that crazy girl I was telling you about. Yes, the one who won’t leave me alone?”

6. Baby Talk

If a complete stranger came up to you on the street and asked you to marry him or be the mother of his children, what would you say?

No matter how attractive he appears, you will be uncomfortable and apprehensive to say the least. The only difference between this scenario and a family planning conference during a date is the setting.

You don’t want to ruin your date. Telling him that he will be a great father on your first meeting is a sure way to do this. Not only will you seem creepy, but you’ll essentially make yourself too available, which is a sign of desperation. Remember, you are too strong and lovable to be desperate.

Don’t discuss getting married, having kids, or moving in together on your first few dates. In fact, you shouldn’t talk about having kids or living together until you’ve been dating for a long time.

7. Monopolizing your time

There’s a euphoria that comes from finding someone you really like. You enjoy the way you feel when you’re around them and crave that feeling in their absence. That said, your date is his own person with his own friends and interests. Demanding that he spend all his time with you, especially in the beginning, is a big no-no.

Plus, if you’re fussing about spending all your time with your crush, you’ll give him the impression that you don’t have a life of your own. Loneliness + clinginess = neediness, which is a huge change from what you already know.

8. Too much too soon

No one is perfect, and everyone has skeletons in their closet. Anyone in a strong relationship will tell you that honesty is an important part of their bond. That said, you can be too honest too soon, and your first date is not a land of stories from your sordid past.

It’s easier to get your words flowing when you find someone you can connect with on a personal level. Revealing secrets, weaknesses, or sins from your past relationships will make your date uncomfortable and encourage him to see you in a different light. You want to put your best face forward, not send him running away.

Dr. Gerry Heisler, Ph.D., recommends waiting six months before baring your soul. If you both want to be together, you have plenty of time to get to know each other. If not, you know your secrets are still safe. In any case, there is no need to rush.

9. Over-enthusiastic planning

If you’re already planning your next ten dates, or worse, imagining your future wedding, you may be coming in too strong a position.

It’s great to be excited about someone, but planning your entire future together can be overwhelming. It’s like showing up to a first date with a calendar and a pen ready to schedule every moment. Remember, part of the fun is the journey, not just the destination.

10. Gift overload

It may be a little much to shower your date with extravagant gifts or constant surprises early in the relationship.

11. Social media overkill

If you’ve been consistently liking, commenting, and tagging them in every post since 2007, you’re probably going pretty strong.

Conversations on social media are normal, but there’s a fine line between showing interest and looking like you’ve delved deep into their online history. Keep your conversations as balanced online as they are in person.

12. Constantly Talking About Exes

If you’re repeatedly bringing up your ex in conversation, it may be a sign that you’re being too aggressive.

13. Planning activities without their input

If you’re always the one deciding what to do, where to eat, or even what they should wear, it’s a sign that you’re taking control instead of collaborating.

It is essential to involve your partner in decision making. Relationships are a two-way street and insisting on their preferences can make you appear overbearing.

14. Quick Introductions to Friends and Family

If you’re already planning a big meeting with all your friends and family after a few dates, this could be another sign of coming on too strong. It’s natural for your new interest to become part of your broader circle, but doing so prematurely can put unnecessary strain on the relationship.

15. Expecting mutual introduction

Along the same lines, if you’re not only introducing them to your inner circle but also expecting them to do the same quickly, it can become overwhelming. Relationships progress at different speeds for everyone.

Although you may be ready to shout about your new love from the rooftops and make them meet your third cousin twice, they may prefer a more gradual approach. Respecting each other’s comfort level with these introductions is key to a balanced and respectful relationship.

Too forceful methods can ruin things

Are you curious about how excessive aggression can harm a budding romance? Well, it’s like adding too much salt to a dish – it can overpower all the other flavors.

In the dating world, being too forward or intense can have similar effects, turning what could have been a beautiful thing into something less palatable.

Let’s take a closer look at ten ways stressing too much can inadvertently put the brakes on a promising relationship.

1. To apply pressure

When you become too aggressive, it can feel like pressure on the other person. They may feel like they need to make quick decisions about the relationship, which can be quite overwhelming. The pressure may cause discomfort and a desire to withdraw.

2. Lack of mystery

Part of the excitement of new relationships is the mystery and gradual discovery. But if you immediately lay all your cards on the table, there is not much left to uncover. Keeping some things back in the beginning can increase problems…