You’d be surprised to learn how colorful medieval insults are found in ancient texts, artifacts, and ruins throughout history.
The year is 1380. You’re walking down a rocky road, holding a half-eaten turkey leg in your hand. You’re wearing what’s basically a burlap sack, but it’s the hottest trend in farmer chic. Suddenly, someone yells, “You’re a flapping, weather-beating sheep-goat!” Unclear? This is precisely because we have navigated through the complex linguistic patterns of medieval insults, filled with historical context and social norms.
Insults, no matter how disgusting, tell us a lot about the time and culture we come from. In the medieval period, humiliation was as much a part of daily life as feudalism and religious asceticism.
These words of reproach provide a unique window into the social norms and attitudes of the time. Like fossil footprints, they give clues about what mattered to people, what their values were and how they expressed resentment or disapproval.
You may wonder why bother understanding medieval insults at all? Besides the fact that they are ridiculously hilarious and can add a spicy twist to your everyday jokes, they are also a fun way to explore human psychology and social communication.
Every archaic satire and sarcasm is a fossil record of emotion, a window into the human psyche that allows us to see how our ancestors navigated their social world.
psychology of insult
Insult is more than a simple expression of rudeness or unkindness. They are a complex system of social communication, subtly guided by the concept of “face”.
So, which “face” are we talking about? No, this is not about how you have to remove medieval dirt from your face before going to the village feast.
According to Erving Goffman, the sociologist who developed the concept, in social psychology, “face” refers to the positive social value that a person effectively claims for himself in a given interaction. This is your social standing, your reputation in the eyes of others.
Imagine it as a beautifully crafted ceramic mask that we all wear in our social interactions. We like it to remain pristine and shiny.
When someone throws an insult, they are essentially saying, “Your mask isn’t as shiny as you think!” And depending on the severity of the insult, they may even say, “You shouldn’t even wear a mask!”
However, it’s not all doom and gloom. Humiliation does not always result in breaking masks or damaging social standing.
In fact, he has other jobs too! They can communicate social hierarchy *who is a knight and who is a jester*, express anger or disapproval *such as when someone cuts the queue at the village well*, or even a way of bonding through shared humor Maybe *when the knights roast each other around the campfire*.
Think about it. Have you ever noticed how close friends often insult each other as a means of affectionate teasing? This is because these mild insults pose no threat to “face.”
Instead, they strengthen bonds of friendship and trust – the essence of shared humor. In the right context, he says, “Our friendship is so strong that it can withstand these playful blows.”
Anatomy of a Medieval Insult
Oh, the anatomy of medieval humiliation! Like clown jokes, these insults are a gold mine of insight into the social norms and values of yesteryear. Let’s dive into this rich world, shall we?
Now, if you take a look at a medieval bard’s book of insults *a fictional book, mind you*, you’ll notice a fascinating trend. Insults weren’t just words strung together randomly.
No, they were often designed to target someone’s profession, appearance or mannerisms, giving a revealing snapshot of the medieval value system.
Professions were more than just work done to earn a living; They were the cornerstone of a person’s identity and social standing. So, if you were a shepherd and someone called you a “sheep-slaying scoundrel,” it was not just an insult to you, but a joke on your entire livelihood.
Similarly, a knight might be described as a “swag-bellied codpiece”, a double whammy on his physical stature and martial prowess.
A “bunch-backed frog” or “evil pox-marked pignut” would certainly not be considered terms of endearment.
Manners were also a ripe target for insults. If your manners are not good you may be called a “rude-growing canker”.
Keep in mind, this was a time when courtly love and chivalry were held in high regard. A rude behavior can get you into trouble or, in this case, you may have to face a provocative insult!
And let’s not forget the important role of wit and humor. A good insult was not just about sting, but also about style. Wit, wordplay, humor – these were the salt, pepper and saffron in the recipe for a gruesome medieval insult.
Humorous examples of medieval insults
Now let’s take a look at medieval insults. These expressions, while being entertaining for us, also served important social functions in their time.
Into a world of ‘flattering, fluttering mouthed foot lickers’ and ‘wobbly, tickling turnips’, here we go!
1. “The artless, beefy barnacle”
An originality-less, dim-witted nuisance.
“Did you hear the new plan from that artless, bigoted barn? He’s jeopardizing our project!”
2. Dirty, bat-fouling stuff
An unethical person who engages in fraudulent activities.
“I don’t trust him as far as I can throw him. He’s nothing more than a cheapskate, bat-fouling stuff.
3. Cocked, Clack-Dish Clotpole
A spoiled, talkative fool.
“Trying to have a sensible conversation with that stupid, cackling clotpole is like talking to a brick wall!”
4. The flirtatious, clapper-clawed cockscomb
A rude, destructive, stupid person.
“Can you believe the audacity of that clumsy, clapping coxcomb to scratch my ancient table like that?”
5. Dunkish, whirling eyes are a sign of death.
A negative, foolish and unlucky person.
“Avoid Fred at the party tonight. He has recently become a literal sadistic, goopy-eyed symbol of death.
6. Fobbing, flapping mouth foot licker
A deceitful, excessively talkative sycophant.
“Don’t fall prey to the sweet words of that sycophant, fluttering-mouthed foot-licker. He’s only out for himself.”
7. Frothy, Full-Gorged Flax-Wench
A shallow, over indulgent woman.
“She comes late every day, full of breakfast, and then does nothing! What a frothy, thoroughly loaded flax-wench!”
8. Lumberjack, Leather-Jerkin Lout
A slow-thinking, uncultured common man.
“There’s no use explaining strategy to that lewd, leather-jerkin-wearing robber. If it wasn’t sewn into his clothes he would forget his name!
9. Vomiting, pimples coming out of feathers
A nauseating, extremely fancy irritation.
“With his gaudy feathers and constant boasting, he’s nothing more than a vomit-inducing, feather-poop!”
10. Rattish, rump-fed Ratsbane
An immoral, highly nourished insect.
“Ever since he won the lottery, he has become a rude, boorish man, living to excess and annoying everyone around him.”
11. Spur-galled, sheep-killing scut
An annoying, petty nuisance.
“That horny, sheep-shearing scoundrel is spreading rumors about us again!”
12. Retarded, ticklish Tewkesbury Mustard
A late, foolish confused person.
“Can you believe the audacity of that slow, tickling Tewkesbury Mustard? Comes late and still can’t get his facts…
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