Best friends are few and far between. But what is a best friend? Here’s how to know your buddy is the best you’ll have and no one can compare.
We go through life making a lot of friends. You’ll have those you met when you were just a toddler, others you formed friendships with in high school, and you even meet people as adults who can weasel their way into your inner circle. But what is a best friend?
What makes one of those friends stand out above the rest? Surely they’re all great because if they weren’t, you wouldn’t have them in your life. So we’re sure you’re trying to figure out what makes one of them the best? It’s hard to tell, but there are unique signs for sure.
What Makes a Best Friend: A Psychological Perspective
Have you ever looked at your closest friend and thought about how they started as a stranger you decided to trust?
At its essence, having a best friend is all about trust. This trust isn’t just about keeping secrets; it’s about knowing that this person will support you no matter what. It’s a connection built through shared moments and mutual respect.
As you spend more time together, whether it’s sharing laughs over coffee or facing life’s challenges, you’re unknowingly creating a strong foundation for a lasting friendship.
The psychology behind these relationships is quite interesting. For example, the mere exposure effect suggests that the more we interact with someone, the more likely we are to form a friendship. It seems that familiarity fosters not contempt but affection. Additionally, oxytocin, often known as the ‘love hormone,’ plays a key role in bonding, boosting feelings of trust and empathy, which are crucial for a deep friendship.
So, what makes someone a best friend rather than just a good friend? It’s the level of understanding and empathy. A best friend can often sense what you’re feeling, sometimes even before you fully grasp it yourself.
This emotional connection distinguishes a best friend from others in your life. It’s not just about enjoying the same things; it’s about how deeply you connect on emotional and psychological levels.
From personal successes to heartaches, these shared experiences become integral chapters in your life stories, forming a bond that’s hard to break. The journey from being strangers to becoming best friends isn’t just about the happy moments; it’s about weathering the challenges together and emerging stronger.
Quality vs Quantity of Friends. Which is Better?
It’s completely okay to have many friends if that’s your style. However, it’s important to prioritize quality over quantity.
Having a large circle of friends can provide a sense of security, knowing there’s always someone around. But it’s even better to have one person you know will be there for you no matter what.
Thus, focusing on keeping only the best people in your life is crucial. This approach not only contributes to your happiness and mental well-being, but also reflects how significantly our relationships impact us.
Surrounding yourself with toxic individuals or having a large number of friends without any real connection can have a detrimental effect on your life.
Signs of a Best Friend?
It can be helpful to recognize the signs of a best friend, so you know when someone is truly going above and beyond for you. Here are some qualities that are common among best friends. Pay attention to who consistently demonstrates these traits.
1. They know You more than “You”
A genuine best friend will be familiar with almost everything about you. This is because you’ve shared many details with them. You don’t need to hide anything, and what makes them stand out is their effort to remember and value that information. They understand what’s important to you and make a conscious effort to keep it in mind.
2. You Never Have to Hide How You’re Feeling
Here’s the ultimate truth: whether you’re feeling upset, insecure, or angry—regardless of the reason—you can always open up to them. There’s no need to hide your emotions because you trust that they won’t judge you, no matter what.
3. You Don’t Have to Say Anything to tell, how you are feeling?
They can immediately pick up on your mood from your demeanor. Much like how dogs sense subtle changes, they can detect when something is amiss just by observing your facial expressions. A true best friend, who understands you deeply, can notice when something is wrong even if you’re trying to conceal it.
4. They Never Ask for Anything in Return
While a strong friendship should be mutual, your best friend won’t expect anything in return. They don’t do things for you with the expectation of receiving something back; they do it because they genuinely want to and because they care about you.
5. They’re there for you anytime!
Even if it’s two in the morning, they’re there if you need them. A true best friend is selfless regarding your needs, as long as it’s a mutual relationship.
They’ll support you when you’re feeling down and celebrate your successes. In essence, they make a consistent effort to be present for all the significant moments.
6. They Support of Everything Do
No matter how outlandish your next idea may be, they support you fully. It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it brings you joy. After all, a best friend’s ultimate goal is to see you happy.
7. You Always Have a Great Time
Best friends always bring joy to your life. No matter what you’re doing—whether it’s lounging on the couch, sharing memes, or enjoying amusement park rides—it’s always fun. With them, you never feel like time is wasted.
8. Their Family Feels Like Yours
This speaks volumes about your friendship. If their family feels like your own due to your close bond, they are likely your best friend.
Observe how their family treats you and how you feel about them. This will help you identify who truly stands out as the best friend.
9. Your Enemies are Their Enemies and Vice Versa
Loyalty is incredibly powerful and important. Even if they don’t know someone personally, they’ll stand by you and share your feelings about that person. It’s about being supportive and loyal to those you trust. If your friend dislikes someone just because you do, without needing a specific reason, they are truly the best.
10. They’re Blunt and Honest When They Need To Be
If they’re your best friend, they’ll be honest with you, even when it’s tough. They’ll let you know if you’re being annoying or needy, and they won’t hesitate to tell you if a dress doesn’t look right or if you need to rethink your relationship. They’re willing to share uncomfortable truths if it’s for your own good.
11. There are Very Few Boundaries, If Any
No topic is off-limits with a best friend. Regardless of how sensitive or uncomfortable it might be, you can always discuss it. You both respect each other’s views enough to ensure that nothing jeopardizes your friendship.
12. You Have Inside Jokes for everyday
You know each other so well and have been friends for so long that inside jokes just keep building up. When you can look at an empty soda bottle and both burst out laughing because it reminds you of a hilarious joke from the past, you know your friendship is genuine.
13. You Basically Have to Talk Every Day
It’s not that you have to talk to them, but you feel unsettled if you don’t. If your day feels off or incomplete without spending some time chatting with your best friend, that’s a clear sign they’re truly special.
14. They Give the Best Advice
They don’t just offer generic advice you hear everywhere. Instead, they give you genuine, personalized advice based on their own experiences.
They make a real effort to understand your situation and offer guidance tailored to what they know about you. It’s the kind of support that truly makes a difference.
15. They Challenge You to Grow in Life
A true best friend isn’t just there to cheer you on; they also act as a coach. They push you out of your comfort zone and challenge you to become your best self.
This could involve encouraging you to seize new opportunities or gently suggesting areas for improvement. It’s a unique blend of support and motivation, making them a crucial part of your personal growth journey.
16. Loyalty Behind Your Back
You can trust that a best friend will defend and speak positively about you, even when you’re not around. This level of loyalty is rare. It means having someone who consistently stands by you and upholds your reputation in all circumstances.
17. They Feel More Like Family
In summary, if your friend feels more like family than just a friend, they’re the best. While you can’t choose your family, you can choose your best friend, and that’s truly special.
18. Shared Values and Perspectives
Beyond just having common interests, a best friend often shares your core values and views on life. This deep alignment forms a strong foundation for your relationship, leading to meaningful conversations and a mutual understanding of each other’s perspectives.
It’s not merely about enjoying the same activities; it’s about connecting on a fundamental level. This shared philosophy is a crucial aspect of what makes a best friend, creating a bond that transcends surface-level connections.
19. They Remember the Little Things
A best friend notices the small details that others might miss. Whether it’s remembering your favorite snack when you’re feeling down or noting the anniversary of a significant event in your life, these thoughtful gestures show how much they care.
A best friend knows that sometimes the smallest acts have the greatest impact. This attentiveness is a key part of what defines a best friend, reflecting their deep connection to your life.
Their support extends beyond your presence, showing the depth of their commitment to your friendship and their dedication to representing you well in every situation.
20. They Respect Your Independence
A best friend respects the need for personal space and independence. They understand that a strong friendship isn’t about being together all the time, but about being secure enough to support each other’s growth and individual experiences.
Respecting personal boundaries strengthens trust and ensures the friendship endures. It’s a delicate balance that best friends manage well, knowing when to offer support and when to give each other space.
Why Everyone Should Have a Best Friend
If you’re thinking, “I can go without a best friend, I’ll pass,” consider this: the value of having a best friend goes beyond just having someone to hang out with.
1. Better Physical Health
The bond with a best friend not only lifts your spirits but also greatly benefits your physical health. Studies have linked strong social ties to improvements like lower blood pressure and a reduced risk of heart disease.
Effectively managing stress, thanks to the emotional support from a best friend, is crucial for maintaining good physical health.
2. Emotional Support and Reduced Stress
A best friend provides crucial emotional support, which is essential for mental health. Research has shown that close friendships can significantly lower stress levels.
This support includes having someone to talk to about your day and finding comfort during tough times. A best friend’s presence during challenging periods can act as a buffer against anxiety and depression, highlighting their significant role in our lives.
3. Crucial for Longevity
According to research from PLOS Medicine, having a best friend can be as crucial for longevity as regular exercise.
The study underscores the significant impact of social relationships on mortality risk, highlighting how companionship can enhance lifespan.
4. Effective Coping Skills
Developing and refining effective coping skills often involves the input and support of a best friend. Their role in your life can significantly influence how you tackle life’s challenges, leading to more resilient and effective coping mechanisms.
5. Increased Sense of Belonging and Improved Self-Confidence
A best friend offers a sense of belonging, which is a fundamental human need. This connection often boosts self-esteem, with research showing that people with close friendships tend to have a higher sense of self-worth.
The acceptance and understanding from a best friend help reinforce a positive self-image, which is essential for personal growth.
6. Personal Growth
Your best friend can be a catalyst for personal growth and self-discovery. Their ability to reflect aspects of yourself encourages you to explore new interests, challenge existing beliefs, and broaden your perspectives, significantly aiding your personal development journey.
7. Improved Mental Sharpness
Regular interactions and deep conversations with a best friend can sharpen your mental faculties and boost creativity. By challenging your thought processes and offering new perspectives, these interactions enrich your conversations and enhance both cognitive abilities and creative thinking.
8. Unconditional Acceptance
The unconditional acceptance and love from a best friend are vital for your mental and emotional well-being.
This non-judgmental support creates a safe space for you to be your true self, which is crucial for developing a healthy sense of security and self-worth.
9. Joy and Happiness
When you receive great news and immediately share it with your best friend, your happiness seems to multiply. This shared joy makes the experience feel even more exhilarating. Psychology supports this, showing that our happiest moments are amplified when shared with a best friend, as they enhance the positive emotions.
10. Reliability and Security
The reliability of a best friend provides a sense of security and stability. Whether it’s practical help like airport pickups or emotional support during difficult times, you can always count on them, underscoring their crucial role in your life.
Can You Have More Than One Best Friend?
The ultimate question: Can you have more than one best friend?
Opinions vary on this. Some people view their best friend as a singular, exclusive relationship—their main confidante and closest ally. Others believe their lives and hearts are big enough to include multiple best friends.
It’s not about ranking friendships but recognizing that you can form deep, meaningful connections with more than one person.
Life is complex, and so are we. One best friend might be your go-to for career advice or intellectual discussions, while another could share your enthusiasm for hobbies and fun. Each friend can resonate with different facets of your personality, enriching your life in various ways.
Managing multiple best friends involves balancing relationships, each with its own rhythm and needs. This means allocating time for each friend and being transparent about your commitments to prevent misunderstandings. The key is communication and ensuring every friend feels valued.
Ultimately, whether you have one or several best friends is a personal choice. What matters most is the depth of connection and mutual support in each friendship.
Best Friends are the Family We Choose
How wonderful is it to have a ride-or-die person in your life? Someone who stands by you through both the fun times and the challenges.
Best friends are those who know you inside and out, share in your laughter and tears, and understand you in ways you might not fully grasp yourself.
So what defines a best friend? They embody everything mentioned above and more. From providing a shoulder to lean on during tough times to celebrating your successes as if they were their own, their role is invaluable. Best friends are the family we choose, the confidants we trust, and the companions who make life’s journey more enjoyable.
