21 Reasons Why It’s Okay and Steps to Handle Anger Positively

Are you asking yourself, “Do I hate my ex?” It can be hard to tell if you’re being hurt or you just really hate them. Read these tips to find out how you feel.

It’s completely natural to be angry with or dislike your ex. Perhaps your relationship ended due to adverse circumstances. But there are more helpful things you can do instead of just saying, “I hate my ex.”

Reasons why you may hate your ex

Sometimes, it may be quite obvious why you hate your ex-partner. For example, if they cheated on you, yes, you will start hating them.

But for some people, the reasons they hate their ex-partner may be less easy to identify. Maybe they never did anything big bad against you, but they did small things that eventually upset you.

Here are some common and 100% justified reasons to hate your ex:

1. They cheated on you

You have to hate the person who betrayed you, otherwise what can you do? All those hurt feelings have to go somewhere.

2. They push you to your limits

Through emotional manipulation, abuse, or even forcing you to air dirty laundry behind them, your ex may push you to your limits.

And now they’re gone, and all your disappointments are still pent up. You can’t channel that frustration anywhere else but into hatred.

3. Your ex has already moved on

But what about all the things you went through? Didn’t it make sense? When your ex moves on too quickly after a breakup, it can leave you feeling betrayed, hurt, and hated.

4. You still love your ex

Ah, probably not the answer you were expecting. But your hatred may simply be your love for the disguised person.

After all, hate is a strong emotion, and we don’t usually devote strong emotions to people we don’t care about on some level. Sometimes it is easier to hate the person we love than to miss him.

negative effects of hating someone

Although it may be natural to feel hatred towards someone after a major event, that feeling should not last long. It turns out that having such negative feelings towards someone actually harms your health in many ways.

By feeling so much hatred toward your former partner, you are putting yourself at risk for high blood pressure, excessive stress, anxiety, and poor circulation. It even causes frequent headaches. If all these symptoms persist for a very long time, they turn into a serious condition.

Ways to Deal with Hating Your Ex

You have your reasons for hating your ex that are completely justified. However, feeling hated puts you in a terrible mood.

If you can’t describe your past relationship without saying, “I hate my ex,” then you need help dealing with those feelings. These are all ways to handle the struggle of hating your ex with grace and maturity.

1. Get some closure

Whatever it is you’re so crazy about, try to eliminate it. If they cheated, find out why or with whom. If they have treated you unfairly, find out why.

You may not want to know the answers to some of these questions because it could really hurt you. But this is the first step in dealing with how much you hate your ex.

2. Discover your true feelings

Some people decide to feel hate because it is easier than facing their true feelings. Most of the time, they feel really hurt. They attack out of hatred to protect themselves.

To get control of your emotions, understand how you really feel about it. If you’re sad and hurt, stay immersed in your pain and deal with those feelings instead of hiding them with hatred.

3. Admit that your hatred is harmful

You’ve already read about how bad it is to hate someone, but when someone feels hated, they will ignore any warning signs about how bad it can get.

4. Discuss things with your support system

Your friends and family are there to support you through difficult times. It’s basically in their non-existent support system contracts. They are there for you to use to solve problems and be happy.

So trust your friends and family. Talk to them openly and tell them what’s happening and how you feel about it. They may have a reasonable outlook because they are not surrounded by hatred for anyone.

5. Getting angry about the right thing

It’s really easier to hate someone, especially a situation, than to hate a situation because at least there is someone to take responsibility.

One thing a lot of people do is extend their hatred towards someone else, when really they just hate what happened in a certain situation.

Dig deep and be honest with yourself. Do you really hate your ex or do you just hate the situation? This huge difference completely affects the way you feel about them, and it makes it much easier to deal with your hatred of your ex-partner.

6. Practice calming mechanisms

If hatred is not controlled then it forces a person to do crazy things. If you really hate your ex and can’t stop yourself from getting crazy and ridiculously angry whenever he or she is around, practice calming methods.

7. Keep distance from them

If you hate your ex-boyfriend, stay away from them! It’s that simple.

If you keep your distance from them, you will find that your hatred subsides over time because you are not always reminded of the person you hate so much.

If you both frequent the same establishments, simply avoid visiting those places for a while. You don’t have to stay away from your ex permanently, but stay away until your feelings of hatred go away.

8. Don’t talk about them to anyone

If you keep bringing them up, your anger will flare up further. You may find it helpful to explain why you hate them so much. The truth is, if you do this all the time, it makes things worse.

Of course, you can discuss your feelings with your support system, but do so only occasionally. Speak up if you’re feeling particularly upset, otherwise ignore the topic completely.

9. Understand that you may be thinking about things one-sidedly

Put yourself in their shoes. There may be some circumstances that you don’t understand that may change your feelings for them.

10. Forgive them

Forgiveness is a very powerful tool that you will want to use if you hate your ex-partner. No matter what they did, no matter how terrible, forgive them. It is not healthy at all to harbor hatred that hurts you.

Forgive them and move on, so that you can be happy once again.

11. Make amends honestly

Since you hate your ex, we’re assuming that some big, dramatic, terrible event happened to cause your breakup. If you are fighting and hurting each other with hateful words, make amends.

Making amends brings you face to face with your hatred. This not only helps you acknowledge how angry you are, but also helps you recover.

12. Do things that make you happy

What is the best way to remove hate from your life? Displace it happily!

If you focus on doing things that make you happy, and you prioritize happiness in your life, you won’t even have time to think about how much you hate your ex.

13. Reach out to family and friends

Now, we’ve already advised you to talk to your support system about your breakup, your ex, and why you hate them, but you have to reach out to them before you can do that.

If this breakup is recent, it’s completely acceptable that you may feel lonely. When they leave it can make you feel very lonely, especially if you were with this person for a long time.

But you are never really alone. Sometimes, reaching out to your friends and family and reminding yourself of this can help you feel happy and fulfilled. And who knows, maybe this will be enough to help you stop hating your ex-partner.

14. Choose healthy options

Hate is not healthy for you, we already covered that. So, you can think of this journey of overcoming your hatred towards your ex as a kind of health journey.

If you spend your time going to the gym, eating more vegetables, and taking care of yourself mentally, you will feel a positive increase in your energy and confidence.

15. Practice breathing exercises

Disgust, and we mean pure anger, can trigger adrenaline reactions. You’ll see red, your hands will be shaking, and you’ll feel agitated beyond calm.

When you feel these anger attacks coming on, either in front of your ex-partner or even just thinking about them, take a few deep breaths. Just focus on your breathing and you’ll be fine.

16. Accept that the relationship is over

Your hatred may be a side effect of long-lasting emotions. To some extent, your strong feelings are a sign that you still care about them, even if those strong feelings are negative.

17. Seek professional help

Not every hateful feeling can be resolved on its own. That’s why there are professionals dedicated to helping you overcome such feelings so you can find yourself and happiness again.

No matter how much you hate your ex-partner, there is nothing wrong with taking it to a professional and allowing them to help you deal with it.

If your hatred is so strong that it is affecting your everyday life, your best option is to seek professional help.

It can be normal to have hateful feelings toward your ex because he or she was once someone you loved, and now you have to distance yourself from him or her. But if your hatred is getting out of control, you’ll need these tips on how to handle it.