13 Step-by-Step Eye Contact Flirting Moves to Get Someone’s Attention ASAP!

If you are not the best at flirting or have had some failures in the past, there is some good news coming for you. You can use flirting by making eye contact to communicate your desire and reduce tension! Yes, no more nervousness, no more stress, and much more success!

This is the easiest and safest way to deliver messages and get signatures back in no time. It is simple, intuitive and something that we all indulge in without even realizing it.

Flirting by making eye contact is also a good means of finding out if someone is interested in getting to know you better without the pressure of making the first move.

Let’s be clear before we begin: There is a huge difference between making eye contact with someone and having a staring contest.

Staring makes people feel very uncomfortable. If you stare or stare at them for too long, chances are they will find you creepy instead of attractive. In that case, your eye contact flirting won’t work!

The best advice is to hold their gaze, usually no more than a second if it were accidental. That second one is very telling!

This takes your eye contact from just a glance to flirting. It’s safe enough to keep them comfortable, but long enough to let them know it was more than an accident.

Let’s face it, flirting by making eye contact is harmless.

From a psychological perspective, direct eye contact triggers the release of oxytocin, often called the “love hormone” or “cuddle hormone.” It can create a sense of intimacy, even if it’s just a fleeting moment on the street or over a cup of wine.

Secondly, flirting with eye contact can help you gauge someone’s interest. In psychology, this is similar to the concept of “mutual liking”, where you and another person are more likely to feel attracted to each other if you both believe the attraction is mutual.

Those little glimpses you’ve been stealing? They’re like mini-experiments in gauging mutual interest based on the other person’s nonverbal cues. If they look at you or look back, you are essentially saying “yes” softly without saying a single word.

Ah, and the best part: Psychology tells us that prolonged eye contact can increase the chances of two people falling in love. This is a phenomenon supported by psychologist Arthur Aron’s infamous “36 Questions” study, where strangers made prolonged eye contact and, well, sparks flew!

What do you do when you see someone you like at a coffee shop or a party? If you’re not sure what to do, though, flirting by making eye contact can be the best thing in the world to help get their attention and make an impact in no time.

Just use these simple eye contact flirting tips and you’ll be able to get the right message across in no time.

1. Take a casual glance every now and then

When you first start making intentional eye contact, you may feel awkward. You may be worried that you’re not doing it properly or that you’re holding it off for the wrong amount of time. The main thing is to keep it simple and consistent.

2. Exchange a fleeting glance

Don’t rush things or you’ll end up looking like an annoying creep. When the person you like sees you half-staring and looking at you curiously, close your eyes for a second and immediately look away.

3. Go back and repeat the look

See the person you like again. Stare at her, but as soon as she looks back at you, look away immediately. Don’t stop now and don’t look back for more than a second.

4. Tell them what’s on your mind

At first, the person you like may assume it’s a passing glance. But as soon as they catch you making sneaky glances every now and then, they’ll know that you’re interested in them.

5. Create excitement

Now that you’ve found someone you love, it’s time to look back from time to time to see if you’re still staring. Stop staring for a few minutes. Wait for them to stare at you every now and then.

We are all curious, so the person you like will wonder why you are not looking anymore and may start staring at you again and again to check if you are still interested. By doing this, you’re getting as much interest in creating a game of staring at the person you want as you are!

6. Reverse eye contact flirting

Look straight ahead and not face the person you’re trying to make eye contact with. But at the same time, focus on them and keep them in your line of sight.

Wait for the person to look at you. And as soon as they look at you, turn your face towards them and look back at the person. By doing this, you are now carefully making it seem as if they are interested in looking at you, not the other way around!

7. Stare longer

Up until now you’ve been exchanging fleeting glances, but now that you’ve found someone you like you’re excitedly waiting for you to look back, locking eyes before looking away.

Psychologically speaking, a glance of about 3 to 5 seconds is often the sweet spot. It’s long enough to create a sense of intimacy, but short enough to keep anyone from feeling uncomfortable. This duration is referred to by psychologists as the optimal length of direct gaze, which facilitates social communication and bonding.

Why this specific time frame? It utilizes the human brain’s ability to read emotional and social signals. Nothing small may be enough to trigger those warm, fuzzy oxytocin releases.

8. Smile and blush

Talk to your friends or look busy, and stare for a second or two. And every now and then, look away while smiling clearly or awkwardly. Don’t smile right now at the person you’re staring at. Always smile while looking away.

9. See their reaction

Is this person looking at you as often as you are looking at them? If they are, it’s working and you’ll be talking to them soon.

If someone you like isn’t returning your gaze no matter what you do, they’re not interested, so give up and move on. You can’t win all your eye-contact flirting games.

10. Feeling brave? Take flirting up a notch with eye contact

If you’re at a party or just want someone to know that you’re interested in some flirty fun, follow the steps above, but instead of looking into their eyes for just a few seconds, look at their Look them in the eyes and see them. Up and down once with an appreciative smile.

11. Smile while “staring”

Now that you’re certain that the person you’re staring at is equally interested in exchanging furtive glances, it’s time to decide.

During one of your long glances, look directly into their eyes and smile slightly. If it sounds weird and a little silly, that’s even better!

If the person you’re staring at looks startled or hastily looks away, they just need a little more time to warm up. But if the person smiles at you, you have struck gold. There’s only one thing to do from here, and that’s start talking to them!

If you’re ready to take this step, check out our guide How to Approach Your Crush – Get Attention and Impress Them All at Once For more hints!

12. Maintain eye contact when you talk

If you already know the person and want them to know that you like them, look deeply into their eyes while you talk.

13. Don’t forget to blink

When it comes to flirting with the eyes, blinking plays an interesting role. In psychology, the phenomenon we are referring to is called “mirroring”. Mirroring occurs when two people subconsciously copy each other’s behavior, indicating rapport and affinity.

So, when you find yourself blinking repeatedly when making eye contact with someone and they reciprocate, you are both engaging in a subconscious dance of mutual interest.

Increased blinking isn’t just random, it’s your autonomic nervous system reacting to emotional stimuli. It could be excitement, nervousness, or even, shall we say, infatuation. By blinking those eyelids a little more than usual, you’re sending an almost intuitive signal of increased attention and emotional readiness.

You’ve established flirting, now what?

Flirting through eye contact can be fun and extremely exciting if you go into it the right way. Do more or less, and you may lose connection.

You already understand that they like you too, otherwise they wouldn’t respond to your flirting games. This should make you feel a little more confident about approaching them and starting a conversation.

Now you have to be brave and go for it! Virtually approach someone you have your eye on and have a witty conversation. When you go there, remember to be yourself. You don’t have to pretend to be someone else, you are more than you are!

Nonverbal cues are a powerful tool when it comes to flirting. Balancing the right amount of eye contact while flirting will instantly catch the cute stranger at the bar’s attention and make them yours!